That is not a good name for these muffins, but I didn't think "The Super-Pooper Morning Muffin" would be as appealing.
I'm in the middle of 28 days of extreme Clean Eating, a venture I'm not facing alone thanks to my sister. We both have the desire to find our most impressive selves, and are following Tosca Reno's Eat Clean Stripped Plan. We did rename this to the "Ripped" plan - as in ripped muscles - as our husbands both raised eager eyebrows at the 'stripped' idea. (TMI - sorry.)
I have discovered several things about myself. One - I love to eat and I'm eating a ton on this plan. Two - I can live without chocolate. Three - it is possible to wake an hour earlier and exercise. Four - every pound that comes off is a hard-won battle. And Five - on day 29, I'm having a beer!
I've also ventured into muffin making. These are not the sugar-crystal, sweetness infused, close your-eyes-and-taste-the-sunshine muffins. These are the "Yep, I'll lose weight and it doesn't taste like crap" muffins. What I love is that every batch is slightly different and there is no measuring beyond the crack of an egg and a tablespoon. These also travel well and keep my satisfied - two very important aspects of eating clean.
Ready?
Get out the oatmeal, the eggs, two bananas and Cinnamon. Heat the oven to 450 F. Got a muffin tin? Don't even try this. There is no oil so these stick like gorilla glue. Use silicon muffin liners.
Place 1 tablespoon oatmeal (or cooked quinoa) in each muffin cup.
Crack on egg, using only the whites, into each cup. If you prefer, buy just the whites at the store and use 2-3 TBSP for cup.
Mash the bananas and plop a portion into each cup until it's all used.
With a fork, mix the contents of each cup.
Sprinkle Cinnamon on top.
Bake for 30 minutes.
Want extra fiber? Replace the eggs with 2 TBSP ground flax seeds that have been soaked in 4 TBSP water for at least 15 minutes. If you up the fiber, remember to drink more water.
Play around with the ingredients. I've tried several different combinations and discovered that these muffins are almost impossible to goof up. Some favorites include: Apples & carrots, blueberries, and grated zucchini sweetened with applesauce.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Ten Things to Do for a Successful Year
I began this list as a list only for homeschoolers, but realized that each suggestion, with some minor tweeking, would work for any family. The goal of this list is to provide some form of organization within the mind of a mother, to encourage parents, and to provide outlets for relaxation. The first part is a suggestion for homeschooling families, the second (in italics) is for all families.
1. Plan meals ahead of time – at least a week. If you know how to successfully plan meals a month at a time, please let me know how! I believe we all will benefit from this.
2. Incorporate the household chores into the school day. Trust me. It will help. And there is nothing as wonderful as a six-year-old who knows how to wash his own clothes. Again, no one loses with this suggestion.
3. Don’t forget to keep the ‘home’ in ‘homeschooling’. There are thousands of great opportunities for homeschoolers. They are all wonderful. What is damaging is the constant flurry of people, schedules, times and paraphernalia. It’s my old rule again: Keep it simple. It's too easy to offer our children every opportunity out there. Remember that 'being home' is the best opportunity because it's a place filled with parents, love, and a place of safety away from the expectations of the outside world. We all need a place to hide. Give kids the time to unwind and be themselves.
4. Plan vacations in the middle of the week and during the non-traditional vacation times. Feeling the February Freeze? Go south then. (South for us is all the way to Northern Indiana were we stay at our favorite lodge – a 2 for 1 special during the winter. It’s a good time and a great bargain.) I remember a friend from high school whose mom would keep her home from school one day a year and they would spend that day together. She was the happiest person I knew.
5. Celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa to the fullest! The public (not just schools, but stores and businesses) is forced to acknowledge all or none of these religious celebrations. As a homeschooling family, we are free to go all out to make these the best days of the year. Do the best you can at home. Bake the cookies, attend the parties, go to church, sing the songs, dress the part. Make it real and beautiful and memorable.
6. Take one day a month to work on a photo album with your children of your homeschooling adventure – this is a great assessment tool for you to see if you are doing everything you want in your school. Use a weekend or a vacation week to do the same. Kids love putting together their own pages and writing about what they've done. Even kids who don't like to write will jot down a few words about a picture. Talk about a family treasury!
7. Host Parent-Student Conferences or a Homeschooling Open House – plan an evening when children and parents sit down and have open & honest talks about homeschooling. Begin this evening with some modeling of how to say something that is negative and how to respond to something that is hurting your feelings. Or, invite grandparents or neighbors over to see your homeschooling achievements (or more realistically, works-in-progress). What a better way to squash some homeschooling misconceptions than to show what it really is. This is a built in feature for schooled-kids. Enjoy it. Even if it's a lousy conference with the teacher, love the fact that your kid has a quirk. It will probably serve her well later in life.
8. Attend a homeschooling conference. Get away, spend time with other parents who work endlessly for education and faith formation within the household doldrums. Find a conference for moms (Hearts at Home is a great one!) Or, go on a marriage retreat. Plan a weekend away with girlfriends. Do something that is just for you without any guilt.
9. Create a mission statement for your homeschool and post it, neatly printed, in a beautiful frame in the room where most of the homeschooling takes place. And then remember to read it occasionally to refresh your purpose. I think this idea works well for every family. Knowing what your family stands for will make or break each day. We would never write: "Our purpose is to yell at each other when things are perfect, spreading the knowledge that we only respond well when things are easy."
10. Incorporate Community Service into your homeschool. Volunteering is a requirement in many schools and is a valuable source of learning, socializing and charity. Call the church, find a need, fill it. Hopefully, this is another bulit-in feature for school kids. If it is, join in. If not, find a way to make it a part of your family's life.
Bonus: Take it one day at a time. Even God took six days to create the world. Write a goal for yourself each day and do it. God also rested one day. He knows what is good for us, so follow His example.
If you are a grandparent, get in on these ideas! Perhaps the negative issues of this generation are stemming from the fact that we are no longer inter-generational.
1. Plan meals ahead of time – at least a week. If you know how to successfully plan meals a month at a time, please let me know how! I believe we all will benefit from this.
2. Incorporate the household chores into the school day. Trust me. It will help. And there is nothing as wonderful as a six-year-old who knows how to wash his own clothes. Again, no one loses with this suggestion.
3. Don’t forget to keep the ‘home’ in ‘homeschooling’. There are thousands of great opportunities for homeschoolers. They are all wonderful. What is damaging is the constant flurry of people, schedules, times and paraphernalia. It’s my old rule again: Keep it simple. It's too easy to offer our children every opportunity out there. Remember that 'being home' is the best opportunity because it's a place filled with parents, love, and a place of safety away from the expectations of the outside world. We all need a place to hide. Give kids the time to unwind and be themselves.
4. Plan vacations in the middle of the week and during the non-traditional vacation times. Feeling the February Freeze? Go south then. (South for us is all the way to Northern Indiana were we stay at our favorite lodge – a 2 for 1 special during the winter. It’s a good time and a great bargain.) I remember a friend from high school whose mom would keep her home from school one day a year and they would spend that day together. She was the happiest person I knew.
5. Celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa to the fullest! The public (not just schools, but stores and businesses) is forced to acknowledge all or none of these religious celebrations. As a homeschooling family, we are free to go all out to make these the best days of the year. Do the best you can at home. Bake the cookies, attend the parties, go to church, sing the songs, dress the part. Make it real and beautiful and memorable.
6. Take one day a month to work on a photo album with your children of your homeschooling adventure – this is a great assessment tool for you to see if you are doing everything you want in your school. Use a weekend or a vacation week to do the same. Kids love putting together their own pages and writing about what they've done. Even kids who don't like to write will jot down a few words about a picture. Talk about a family treasury!
7. Host Parent-Student Conferences or a Homeschooling Open House – plan an evening when children and parents sit down and have open & honest talks about homeschooling. Begin this evening with some modeling of how to say something that is negative and how to respond to something that is hurting your feelings. Or, invite grandparents or neighbors over to see your homeschooling achievements (or more realistically, works-in-progress). What a better way to squash some homeschooling misconceptions than to show what it really is. This is a built in feature for schooled-kids. Enjoy it. Even if it's a lousy conference with the teacher, love the fact that your kid has a quirk. It will probably serve her well later in life.
8. Attend a homeschooling conference. Get away, spend time with other parents who work endlessly for education and faith formation within the household doldrums. Find a conference for moms (Hearts at Home is a great one!) Or, go on a marriage retreat. Plan a weekend away with girlfriends. Do something that is just for you without any guilt.
9. Create a mission statement for your homeschool and post it, neatly printed, in a beautiful frame in the room where most of the homeschooling takes place. And then remember to read it occasionally to refresh your purpose. I think this idea works well for every family. Knowing what your family stands for will make or break each day. We would never write: "Our purpose is to yell at each other when things are perfect, spreading the knowledge that we only respond well when things are easy."
10. Incorporate Community Service into your homeschool. Volunteering is a requirement in many schools and is a valuable source of learning, socializing and charity. Call the church, find a need, fill it. Hopefully, this is another bulit-in feature for school kids. If it is, join in. If not, find a way to make it a part of your family's life.
Bonus: Take it one day at a time. Even God took six days to create the world. Write a goal for yourself each day and do it. God also rested one day. He knows what is good for us, so follow His example.
If you are a grandparent, get in on these ideas! Perhaps the negative issues of this generation are stemming from the fact that we are no longer inter-generational.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Book Recommendation: The Underneath by Kathy Appelt
The Underneath, by Kathy Appelt
Because my children and I read so much, we are often given gift cards to bookstores for birthdays and Christmas. It’s the best present for us. My oldest daughter, using several gift cards at once came home with a stack of books, which were quickly devoured. There was one among this pile that I saw her return to often: The Underneath. I didn’t pay much attention. That was a mistake!
My children have also become the go-to people for book recommendations for other children. A friend of mine asked my oldest daughter if there was a book that she would recommend for her own children that would also be a good read-aloud. I was a little nervous about what my oldest would say – that was a big question! A good read-aloud book must be written in a voice, not on paper. Maybe that doesn’t make sense, let me try to explain. There are some great stories out there that have survived decades of readers: Peter Pan, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, and Tom Sawyer to name a few. It’s the visual of the written word that is the essence of hearing these tales. The dialect in Tom Sawyer is easily botched if not practiced well and many homeschooling parents don’t have time to rehearse. The sentence structure in Peter Pan is difficult to translate into a voice that leaps off the page and no matter how much pixie dust is sprinkled, the words fall flat on their crossed t’s and dotted lower-case j’s. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader is just plain difficult to read. I’ve tried.
There are other books that are written in voice, a story in which the author has used a fluid pattern of sentences, action and scenery descriptions that are easily interpreted from the book to the reader to the audience. These are the stories that homeschooling parents constantly search. These are the books that all parents should read to their children, whether they are homeschooled or go to school. (If you’ve read any previous posts, you know how I feel about too much television. Books and time together are the answer.)
The Underneath is such a story, and at the risk of sounding cliché, it’s much more than that! After hearing what my oldest said about The Underneath as her first choice for my friend to read to her children, I came right home and started reading. She said: “It’s a story where everyone is underneath someone else. There are some characters that literally live underneath other characters. And there are story lines that are hidden underneath other story lines.” That sounded fascinating to me. As I read The Underneath, I was captivated by the plot structure, the characters and the way the words almost sang - a huge plus when reading aloud! Poetic language like this has never been used before in literature for children and young adults and it was an enriching experience. A bonus: after all my daughters read The Underneath, I noticed a significant improvement in their writing.
It’s true that this is a book written for the young, but if you feel even the slightest bit young at heart, The Underneath will be a ray of sunshine. Read it and let me know what you think.
Because my children and I read so much, we are often given gift cards to bookstores for birthdays and Christmas. It’s the best present for us. My oldest daughter, using several gift cards at once came home with a stack of books, which were quickly devoured. There was one among this pile that I saw her return to often: The Underneath. I didn’t pay much attention. That was a mistake!
My children have also become the go-to people for book recommendations for other children. A friend of mine asked my oldest daughter if there was a book that she would recommend for her own children that would also be a good read-aloud. I was a little nervous about what my oldest would say – that was a big question! A good read-aloud book must be written in a voice, not on paper. Maybe that doesn’t make sense, let me try to explain. There are some great stories out there that have survived decades of readers: Peter Pan, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, and Tom Sawyer to name a few. It’s the visual of the written word that is the essence of hearing these tales. The dialect in Tom Sawyer is easily botched if not practiced well and many homeschooling parents don’t have time to rehearse. The sentence structure in Peter Pan is difficult to translate into a voice that leaps off the page and no matter how much pixie dust is sprinkled, the words fall flat on their crossed t’s and dotted lower-case j’s. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader is just plain difficult to read. I’ve tried.
There are other books that are written in voice, a story in which the author has used a fluid pattern of sentences, action and scenery descriptions that are easily interpreted from the book to the reader to the audience. These are the stories that homeschooling parents constantly search. These are the books that all parents should read to their children, whether they are homeschooled or go to school. (If you’ve read any previous posts, you know how I feel about too much television. Books and time together are the answer.)
The Underneath is such a story, and at the risk of sounding cliché, it’s much more than that! After hearing what my oldest said about The Underneath as her first choice for my friend to read to her children, I came right home and started reading. She said: “It’s a story where everyone is underneath someone else. There are some characters that literally live underneath other characters. And there are story lines that are hidden underneath other story lines.” That sounded fascinating to me. As I read The Underneath, I was captivated by the plot structure, the characters and the way the words almost sang - a huge plus when reading aloud! Poetic language like this has never been used before in literature for children and young adults and it was an enriching experience. A bonus: after all my daughters read The Underneath, I noticed a significant improvement in their writing.
It’s true that this is a book written for the young, but if you feel even the slightest bit young at heart, The Underneath will be a ray of sunshine. Read it and let me know what you think.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Lessons from Family Fun Nights
A few years ago, our family camped in Indiana at our favorite park (Pokagon State Park just north of Angola, if you’re interested). It was a Friday night, our normal evening of a board game followed by a movie. My youngest daughter lamented the fact that we couldn’t watch a movie while we were camping. I immediately launched into a wordy lecture about the beauty of nature and how great it is to watch the stars or just sit around the campfire. “Yeah, but a movie would be funner,” the youngest sighed.
My goofy husband, with a spitty-lisp, shouted, “Inconceivable!” I responded with, “I do not think that word means what you think it means,” in a rich Spanish accent. Our oldest daughter laughed, “The Princess Bride!”
And the Movie Game was born. We each took a turn to say a line from a movie and the others guess which movie it is from.
“As you wish.” Princess Bride!
“Take your issues off the road!” Ice Age
“Oh, no…Oh, yes!” Spirit
This game continues in the car during long rides, around the dinner table and has now spread to family friends. The beauty of the Movie Game is that it’s spontaneous and can include the entire family. It’s fun and silly and keeps us talking with one another.
Another favorite is the Map Game. On our dining room wall, we have the National Geographic mural map, a 10’x 7’ map of the world. Not only is it a great conversation piece, but an invaluable tool for homeschooling and the only tool needed for the Map Game. The idea is simple in that “I Spy” kind of way. We take turns finding a country or city, name it, and the others search the world to find it. Whoever finds it takes a turn. While our map is ridiculously huge, friends of ours have a map on their dining room table covered with clear plastic to keep it safe.
I invented Laundry Ball a few years ago out of pure desperation for help folding socks on laundry day (which, at our house, is every day). Because folding socks is such a drag, I set up an empty basket. When someone finds matching socks, they fold them together, earning one point, and then toss them into a basket for another point. If they miss the basket, they just pick it up and drop it in, hopefully happy with one point. The person with the most points doesn’t have to put the laundry away in the drawers.
Sometimes, it is within the game that we can find our happiest memories. That’s one reason why the game companies promote a Family Fun Night once a week; sure they do it to sell games, but there is value in the concept. We have all the basic board games, but it isn’t always convenient to play them, especially with a baby in the house who eats everything!
What amazes me most are the valuable lessons I have gleaned from Family Fun Nights that carry over into everyday life. First, the simpler the better. Life with too much stuff, too many rules, and too many expectations just wears me out. Secondly, how we treat each other, the gracious words, taking turns, sympathizing with the loser and not gloating over our win (or vice versa…learning how to lose gracefully), that all matters every day. Thirdly, the time I put in with my kids today determines how they respond to me tomorrow. I like to be treated with respect. I like to be listened to and smiled at. If I make a mistake, I prefer people laugh with me instead of shouting or laughing at me. Through games and time well spent, I can create relationships with my family that will build a strong foundation and pave the way to those deeper conversations that just around the corner. Yes! All that can be established through play!
But this isn’t a definitive list. If you have games or traditions from your family, please share!
My goofy husband, with a spitty-lisp, shouted, “Inconceivable!” I responded with, “I do not think that word means what you think it means,” in a rich Spanish accent. Our oldest daughter laughed, “The Princess Bride!”
And the Movie Game was born. We each took a turn to say a line from a movie and the others guess which movie it is from.
“As you wish.” Princess Bride!
“Take your issues off the road!” Ice Age
“Oh, no…Oh, yes!” Spirit
This game continues in the car during long rides, around the dinner table and has now spread to family friends. The beauty of the Movie Game is that it’s spontaneous and can include the entire family. It’s fun and silly and keeps us talking with one another.
Another favorite is the Map Game. On our dining room wall, we have the National Geographic mural map, a 10’x 7’ map of the world. Not only is it a great conversation piece, but an invaluable tool for homeschooling and the only tool needed for the Map Game. The idea is simple in that “I Spy” kind of way. We take turns finding a country or city, name it, and the others search the world to find it. Whoever finds it takes a turn. While our map is ridiculously huge, friends of ours have a map on their dining room table covered with clear plastic to keep it safe.
I invented Laundry Ball a few years ago out of pure desperation for help folding socks on laundry day (which, at our house, is every day). Because folding socks is such a drag, I set up an empty basket. When someone finds matching socks, they fold them together, earning one point, and then toss them into a basket for another point. If they miss the basket, they just pick it up and drop it in, hopefully happy with one point. The person with the most points doesn’t have to put the laundry away in the drawers.
Sometimes, it is within the game that we can find our happiest memories. That’s one reason why the game companies promote a Family Fun Night once a week; sure they do it to sell games, but there is value in the concept. We have all the basic board games, but it isn’t always convenient to play them, especially with a baby in the house who eats everything!
What amazes me most are the valuable lessons I have gleaned from Family Fun Nights that carry over into everyday life. First, the simpler the better. Life with too much stuff, too many rules, and too many expectations just wears me out. Secondly, how we treat each other, the gracious words, taking turns, sympathizing with the loser and not gloating over our win (or vice versa…learning how to lose gracefully), that all matters every day. Thirdly, the time I put in with my kids today determines how they respond to me tomorrow. I like to be treated with respect. I like to be listened to and smiled at. If I make a mistake, I prefer people laugh with me instead of shouting or laughing at me. Through games and time well spent, I can create relationships with my family that will build a strong foundation and pave the way to those deeper conversations that just around the corner. Yes! All that can be established through play!
But this isn’t a definitive list. If you have games or traditions from your family, please share!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Book Review: Savvy by Ingrid Law
This is what I hope will be the first of many book reviews for this blog. Savvy, by Ingrid Law is a gem! Whether you are 8 or 88 years old, there are jewels to behold, treasures to discover and a genuine sigh of satisfaction as the last words are read.
A quick summary:
Feeling accepted by others at age 13 is hard enough, but imagine the extra layer of having fantastic skills - skills you might not necessarily like. Everyone has Savvy, that quirky behavior or skill that makes us stand out from the others. In certain families, however, this savvy shows up in full force on the thirteenth birthday. What could be worse than calling down a tornado when you are angry, or knocking out the power in the whole city when your dad is in the hospital. Grandpa can make mountains and valleys form if he isn't careful and Grandma had the uncanny skill of capturing radio songs and broadcast in canning jars. This recipe includes: a thirteenth birthday party with catastrophic potential, a dash of teen-age girl rebelling against her minister-father, a lightly whipped family steeped in love, all baked in a pink school bus converted into a bible-selling machine.
The greatest appeal of this book are the characters; kids who meet and become friends and discover respect for others although they are as different from each other as clouds are different from lizards.
My two older daughter devoured this book, and so did I, staying up until the darkest hours in the morning. We actually screamed with delight at the book store the following week when we found Scumble, the second book which follows another Savvy family.
On top of a great story, Ingrid Law wrote with flitting delight, creating lovable traits by using language that almost sings off the page. I will be looking for more from Ingrid Law!
A quick summary:
Feeling accepted by others at age 13 is hard enough, but imagine the extra layer of having fantastic skills - skills you might not necessarily like. Everyone has Savvy, that quirky behavior or skill that makes us stand out from the others. In certain families, however, this savvy shows up in full force on the thirteenth birthday. What could be worse than calling down a tornado when you are angry, or knocking out the power in the whole city when your dad is in the hospital. Grandpa can make mountains and valleys form if he isn't careful and Grandma had the uncanny skill of capturing radio songs and broadcast in canning jars. This recipe includes: a thirteenth birthday party with catastrophic potential, a dash of teen-age girl rebelling against her minister-father, a lightly whipped family steeped in love, all baked in a pink school bus converted into a bible-selling machine.
The greatest appeal of this book are the characters; kids who meet and become friends and discover respect for others although they are as different from each other as clouds are different from lizards.
My two older daughter devoured this book, and so did I, staying up until the darkest hours in the morning. We actually screamed with delight at the book store the following week when we found Scumble, the second book which follows another Savvy family.
On top of a great story, Ingrid Law wrote with flitting delight, creating lovable traits by using language that almost sings off the page. I will be looking for more from Ingrid Law!
Monday, August 22, 2011
My Day Off
In the spirit of summer vacation, I took the entire month of July off of writing on the computer. Yes, many said I couldn't do it, that I would fold under the pressure of pen and paper and sneak downstairs in the middle of the night to tap away briskly on the keys. But I made it.
Over the next few days, kids and schedule willing, I hope to take the notes from my notebooks and put together several more posts. But today is all about my day off. And for any mom (or dad, for that matter) who has packed for a camping trip, you will appreciate my day off.
For five days, we camped at Interlochen State Park. As a diabetic, I have to eat a certain diet and eat quite often, which means that before we go anywhere, I prepare all my meals. For days before we left I cooked quinoa, beans, ground beef, washed lettuce, sliced carrots and celery, made salad dressing...you get the idea. But it was all worth it because of what we did on Monday.
We left the campground and went to Good Harbor Beach, had a picnic lunch, went to a winery, then went swimming again. For me, it was a day away from household chores, writing and being a mom. On this day, I said "yes" to everything. I loved watching the girls grow bolder with each "yes":
Can we go swimming?
Yes.
Can we have a picnic?
Why not.
Can we go out for ice cream?
Yes!
Can we buy this?
I think we can.
Can we go swimming again?
I'd love to!
I want to carry that feeling into everyday, but chores must be done and being a mom takes energy and time and loads of patience (and laundry). But I can say "Yes" to my children when they ask me to play. I can make special moments throughout or weeks; perhaps not a full day of sunny-sunny fun, but when my kids ask me to be with them, I don't want to put anything else before them. I foresee dinners being a little late (or bowls of cereal for dinner - I know you do it too!), the laundry taking longer to complete, and perhaps my writing will be put on the back burner for a while.
My kids will always be my kids, but they are growing faster than I thought they would. Soon they will be adults. Someday they won't hold my hand when we cross the street or cuddle on the couch with me in the evening while we read together. So I'm leaving this post a little incomplete so I can go play with my son, then rock with him in the chair and enjoy listening to him breathe and dream in my arms.
Over the next few days, kids and schedule willing, I hope to take the notes from my notebooks and put together several more posts. But today is all about my day off. And for any mom (or dad, for that matter) who has packed for a camping trip, you will appreciate my day off.
For five days, we camped at Interlochen State Park. As a diabetic, I have to eat a certain diet and eat quite often, which means that before we go anywhere, I prepare all my meals. For days before we left I cooked quinoa, beans, ground beef, washed lettuce, sliced carrots and celery, made salad dressing...you get the idea. But it was all worth it because of what we did on Monday.
We left the campground and went to Good Harbor Beach, had a picnic lunch, went to a winery, then went swimming again. For me, it was a day away from household chores, writing and being a mom. On this day, I said "yes" to everything. I loved watching the girls grow bolder with each "yes":
Can we go swimming?
Yes.
Can we have a picnic?
Why not.
Can we go out for ice cream?
Yes!
Can we buy this?
I think we can.
Can we go swimming again?
I'd love to!
I want to carry that feeling into everyday, but chores must be done and being a mom takes energy and time and loads of patience (and laundry). But I can say "Yes" to my children when they ask me to play. I can make special moments throughout or weeks; perhaps not a full day of sunny-sunny fun, but when my kids ask me to be with them, I don't want to put anything else before them. I foresee dinners being a little late (or bowls of cereal for dinner - I know you do it too!), the laundry taking longer to complete, and perhaps my writing will be put on the back burner for a while.
My kids will always be my kids, but they are growing faster than I thought they would. Soon they will be adults. Someday they won't hold my hand when we cross the street or cuddle on the couch with me in the evening while we read together. So I'm leaving this post a little incomplete so I can go play with my son, then rock with him in the chair and enjoy listening to him breathe and dream in my arms.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
A Wallet, a Stroller, and a Butterfly
The title of this post sounds like the beginning of a bad joke. Instead, it was the beginning of my Saturday morning. With my husband and three older daughters away camping, it's just me and the baby. My plan was to go to visit with my illustrator for a few hours in Grand Rapids - an hour away. Sounds simple. Until I realized that my wallet wasn't in my purse.
I had no idea where my wallet was. Completely stumped, I stared at my purse, thinking that maybe the mere power of my angry eyes could make it appear. Once again, I accepted the fact that I have no supernatural powers. What I did have this morning was a temper-fuse of a half-inch leading to some pretty seriously unstable TNT.
Over the phone, my husband checked my daughters purses and my mother offered helpful but maddeningly unsuccessful suggestions. The baby decided that crying and crawling after me like a lost puppy in need of a bottle was a good choice and the cat, enjoying the scene of the baby constantly under my feet, joined in, tripping my at every turn. I'm not proud, but I was crying. OK, I was sobbing. (At least you will know are not the only mom who suffers from extreme emotions!)
My mom prayed with me over the phone, asking every saint in heaven, especially St. Anthony to help her unfortunate daughter find her sanity and her wallet. Mom prayed to our Holy Mother, Mary, for a shred of patience and wisdom that would set my eyes on what I sought. And then I heard a whisper in my ear and I knew exactly where my wallet was.
The stroller.
I went for a walk yesterday and tucked my wallet in the back of the stroller in case I should be creamed by a truck and needed to be identified. (Yes, my mind thinks like that.)
My mom whooped and hollered for joy that what had been lost (my sanity) was now found. My frustration-sobs were replaced by tears of relief. I thanked God and St. Anthony and Mary for their tolerance of me and felt unworthy but relieved that God really does listen to every little prayer. But He had more in store for me. As if to remind me that He fills my cup to overflowing, another and greater prize than my wallet awaited ...a butterfly in our little butterfly garden had emerged. (You can insert your own symbolism here.)
Out of great struggles come greater rewards. God whispered in my ear today and then blessed me further by allowing me the opportunity to watch the first flight of a Swallow-tail butterfly.
All that before 10:00 AM.
I had no idea where my wallet was. Completely stumped, I stared at my purse, thinking that maybe the mere power of my angry eyes could make it appear. Once again, I accepted the fact that I have no supernatural powers. What I did have this morning was a temper-fuse of a half-inch leading to some pretty seriously unstable TNT.
Over the phone, my husband checked my daughters purses and my mother offered helpful but maddeningly unsuccessful suggestions. The baby decided that crying and crawling after me like a lost puppy in need of a bottle was a good choice and the cat, enjoying the scene of the baby constantly under my feet, joined in, tripping my at every turn. I'm not proud, but I was crying. OK, I was sobbing. (At least you will know are not the only mom who suffers from extreme emotions!)
My mom prayed with me over the phone, asking every saint in heaven, especially St. Anthony to help her unfortunate daughter find her sanity and her wallet. Mom prayed to our Holy Mother, Mary, for a shred of patience and wisdom that would set my eyes on what I sought. And then I heard a whisper in my ear and I knew exactly where my wallet was.
The stroller.
I went for a walk yesterday and tucked my wallet in the back of the stroller in case I should be creamed by a truck and needed to be identified. (Yes, my mind thinks like that.)
My mom whooped and hollered for joy that what had been lost (my sanity) was now found. My frustration-sobs were replaced by tears of relief. I thanked God and St. Anthony and Mary for their tolerance of me and felt unworthy but relieved that God really does listen to every little prayer. But He had more in store for me. As if to remind me that He fills my cup to overflowing, another and greater prize than my wallet awaited ...a butterfly in our little butterfly garden had emerged. (You can insert your own symbolism here.)
Out of great struggles come greater rewards. God whispered in my ear today and then blessed me further by allowing me the opportunity to watch the first flight of a Swallow-tail butterfly.
All that before 10:00 AM.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Zucchini Recipes
What do you do when the only plant in your garden that produces vegetables is the zucchini plant? And not just a few nice zucchinis, but 50 pounds of zucchini? Aside from considering tossing it into the neighbors cow pasture, I decided to take a walk on the ‘green’ side and find recipes.
Recipe One: Zucchini Pasta. This was actually my idea (I know, you’re gasping!) but I’m sure I’m not the first one to try it. Using my julienne slicer, I cut the oversized zucchini into pasta noodles, sprinkled them with parmesan cheese and baked @ 400 degrees F for about 25 minutes. I topped it with spaghetti and meat sauce, but meatballs, a marinara sauce, or a cream sauce are just as yummy.
My vote: 5 out of 5 stars.
Kids vote: 2 out of 5 stars.
Recipe Two. Zucchini Custard Pie, found in the Whole Foods recipe book. Surprisingly sweet and delightful. Great with a cup of coffee. (This would be best served immediately, as the next day the zucchini reduced the pie crust to a gooey mess).
My vote: 3 out of 5
Kids vote: 2 out of 5
Recipe Three: Roasted Garden Veggies. This is a personal favorite that I use year-round with whatever veggies are available. Today I used zucchini, Vidalia onions and sweet potatoes – all chopped into bite-size pieces. In a mixing bowl, I coated the veggies with about 4 tablespoons of olive oil, a sprinkling of salt and pepper (and sometimes a dash of cayenne pepper). Bake at 400 until potatoes are soft – usually about 40 minutes.
My vote: 5 out of 5
Kids vote: 5 out of 5
Recipe Four: Baked Zucchini Custard. Diced zucchini, onion and peppers in one bowl. Puree 2 eggs, about 10 ounces of silken tofu, ½ grated cheese. Mixed together with veggies. Pour into a baking dish. 350 F for about 40 minutes, or until the top is nice and golden brown.
My vote: 5 out of 5
Kids vote: 3 out of 5
Recipe Five: Good Ol’ Zucchini Bread and Muffins. There are three dozen different recipes in the cookbooks in my house and they are all wonderful.
My vote: 5 out of 5
Kids vote: 5 out of 5
Recipe Six: Chocolate Zucchini Bread. Same as above, just add cocoa powder.
My vote: 5 out of 5
Kids vote: 5 out of 5
Recipe Seven: Zucchini Pizza Crust. Again, this one is my creation – purely out of need. Grate 1-2 over-grown or 6-7 normal sized zucchini. Squeeze out extra water. Mix with 3-4 egg whites, parmesan cheese, chopped basil (fresh or dried), and salt and pepper to taste. Mix in 1/3 cup whole wheat flour (for a gluten free pizza crust, use rice flour or any other flour substitute). Spread on a pizza pan and bake until eggs are done.
A variety of toppings go well on this: traditional pizza toppings or for a fresh meal, try fresh basil, tomato and mozzarella cheese. This is also good as a standalone zucchini bread without any toppings.
My vote: 5 out of 5
Kids vote: 5 out of 5 (although my youngest insisted on a 3 out of 5 rating)
Recipe One: Zucchini Pasta. This was actually my idea (I know, you’re gasping!) but I’m sure I’m not the first one to try it. Using my julienne slicer, I cut the oversized zucchini into pasta noodles, sprinkled them with parmesan cheese and baked @ 400 degrees F for about 25 minutes. I topped it with spaghetti and meat sauce, but meatballs, a marinara sauce, or a cream sauce are just as yummy.
My vote: 5 out of 5 stars.
Kids vote: 2 out of 5 stars.
Recipe Two. Zucchini Custard Pie, found in the Whole Foods recipe book. Surprisingly sweet and delightful. Great with a cup of coffee. (This would be best served immediately, as the next day the zucchini reduced the pie crust to a gooey mess).
My vote: 3 out of 5
Kids vote: 2 out of 5
Recipe Three: Roasted Garden Veggies. This is a personal favorite that I use year-round with whatever veggies are available. Today I used zucchini, Vidalia onions and sweet potatoes – all chopped into bite-size pieces. In a mixing bowl, I coated the veggies with about 4 tablespoons of olive oil, a sprinkling of salt and pepper (and sometimes a dash of cayenne pepper). Bake at 400 until potatoes are soft – usually about 40 minutes.
My vote: 5 out of 5
Kids vote: 5 out of 5
Recipe Four: Baked Zucchini Custard. Diced zucchini, onion and peppers in one bowl. Puree 2 eggs, about 10 ounces of silken tofu, ½ grated cheese. Mixed together with veggies. Pour into a baking dish. 350 F for about 40 minutes, or until the top is nice and golden brown.
My vote: 5 out of 5
Kids vote: 3 out of 5
Recipe Five: Good Ol’ Zucchini Bread and Muffins. There are three dozen different recipes in the cookbooks in my house and they are all wonderful.
My vote: 5 out of 5
Kids vote: 5 out of 5
Recipe Six: Chocolate Zucchini Bread. Same as above, just add cocoa powder.
My vote: 5 out of 5
Kids vote: 5 out of 5
Recipe Seven: Zucchini Pizza Crust. Again, this one is my creation – purely out of need. Grate 1-2 over-grown or 6-7 normal sized zucchini. Squeeze out extra water. Mix with 3-4 egg whites, parmesan cheese, chopped basil (fresh or dried), and salt and pepper to taste. Mix in 1/3 cup whole wheat flour (for a gluten free pizza crust, use rice flour or any other flour substitute). Spread on a pizza pan and bake until eggs are done.
A variety of toppings go well on this: traditional pizza toppings or for a fresh meal, try fresh basil, tomato and mozzarella cheese. This is also good as a standalone zucchini bread without any toppings.
My vote: 5 out of 5
Kids vote: 5 out of 5 (although my youngest insisted on a 3 out of 5 rating)
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Trapped by Household Dolrums?
Have you ever watched a movie and wished that your life, too, could be as grand as the hero's life? That you could save the day, rescue the child, stop that disease, or be the woman whose man would fight to the death for her? Yeah, Hollywood perfection can really mess with your mind. The great struggles and the happy endings, the size 2 women and the men with broad shoulders and deep blue eyes make the average lives of Jane and John (or in my case, Jessica and Bill) seem less than incredible.
It's easy to fall into this feeling of small-ness. I have. But I don't like it. I know that there is something wrong with that type of thinking - that my life doesn't count for something. So, being me, I started researching to find a way out.
Did you know there is a Saint for Little Ways? Doesn't that sound nice? A Saint that lived a little life, followed her child-like heart and became a warrior for God all by doing her daily tasks with compassion. St. Therese of Lisieux is just such a Saint.
I need to take a serious lesson from her book (literally a book, Story of a Soul). During her time at the convent, she took all the smallest, most menial chores and did them happily. She was purposefully friendly to the sisters who were cruel. She prayed with a child's heart, maintaining that awe in Jesus that is usually found in the hearts of children who haven't been corrupted by the ways of the world.
Imagine how my household (and perhaps yours too) would change if I did the dishes day in and day out while smiling and singing? And that mountain of laundry? No problem! I'll do that and be thankful that I can provide my family with a mountain of clothing. Keeping the house clean would become a duty of honor, for what mother doesn't want to give her family a clean, safe and happy home? And when 5:00 rolls around, dinner would be ready. (Yeah, I'm laughing at that one. While I usually know what dinner is going to be, I have only rarely prepared it in a timely manner!)
So I'm challenging myself through the month of July (for starters) to look at the things that normally pull me down and change them to things I can do in thanksgiving to God for all He has given me. I remind my children to do things with a happy heart - and I need to remind my own heart to follow that rule as well. My children are learning to care for their things by doing laundry and dishes and vacuuming and they find an element of excitement in doing things that grown-ups do. Interesting. Why don't I feel that way anymore? Am I so blinded by my blessings that I can't see the beauty in the little ways of my life? What would happen if I returned my heart and mind to do things with the joy and passion of a child?
My life is not big. I'm a hero only to my children. My hero is my husband. I won't save the world, but I can save my family from the world. I probably won't ever be a size 2..or 4 or 6, but my husband loves me just the way I am. We wouldn't be appealing on the big screen, but I love our home videos of fun times with the kids. But I am hoping for a happy ending! I'll never give up on that!
It's easy to fall into this feeling of small-ness. I have. But I don't like it. I know that there is something wrong with that type of thinking - that my life doesn't count for something. So, being me, I started researching to find a way out.
Did you know there is a Saint for Little Ways? Doesn't that sound nice? A Saint that lived a little life, followed her child-like heart and became a warrior for God all by doing her daily tasks with compassion. St. Therese of Lisieux is just such a Saint.
I need to take a serious lesson from her book (literally a book, Story of a Soul). During her time at the convent, she took all the smallest, most menial chores and did them happily. She was purposefully friendly to the sisters who were cruel. She prayed with a child's heart, maintaining that awe in Jesus that is usually found in the hearts of children who haven't been corrupted by the ways of the world.
Imagine how my household (and perhaps yours too) would change if I did the dishes day in and day out while smiling and singing? And that mountain of laundry? No problem! I'll do that and be thankful that I can provide my family with a mountain of clothing. Keeping the house clean would become a duty of honor, for what mother doesn't want to give her family a clean, safe and happy home? And when 5:00 rolls around, dinner would be ready. (Yeah, I'm laughing at that one. While I usually know what dinner is going to be, I have only rarely prepared it in a timely manner!)
So I'm challenging myself through the month of July (for starters) to look at the things that normally pull me down and change them to things I can do in thanksgiving to God for all He has given me. I remind my children to do things with a happy heart - and I need to remind my own heart to follow that rule as well. My children are learning to care for their things by doing laundry and dishes and vacuuming and they find an element of excitement in doing things that grown-ups do. Interesting. Why don't I feel that way anymore? Am I so blinded by my blessings that I can't see the beauty in the little ways of my life? What would happen if I returned my heart and mind to do things with the joy and passion of a child?
My life is not big. I'm a hero only to my children. My hero is my husband. I won't save the world, but I can save my family from the world. I probably won't ever be a size 2..or 4 or 6, but my husband loves me just the way I am. We wouldn't be appealing on the big screen, but I love our home videos of fun times with the kids. But I am hoping for a happy ending! I'll never give up on that!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
The Grass Under Our Feet
The other day I took my kids to the park and had one of those rare moments of freedom and clarity that comes from taking in nature in the tiniest detail. Lying on my stomach, feeling the grass prickle my arms, I was delighted by the cool relief the green carpet offered from the sun. I wasn’t afraid of insects, just comforted by the fact that I was, essentially, prostrating myself before God in the middle of a park, enjoying the complete thrill of God’s creation in the summer sun.
It was then that I noticed the grass in detail. Every blade was different – different to the point that when the wind blew, only some of the blades moved. Only a few blades caught the wind, bending in a romantic dip with the invisible force and springing back up to be bent again as the dance continued. A few other blades shuddered for a second under the wind, but resumed their stock-still stance, unrelenting under a greater force. The majority of the grass was unmoved. Staunch. Resilient.
My mind cleared and perhaps God whispered in my ear, “Be a dancing blade of grass. Let my breath move you.”
I looked at my life, from my youth to today as I’m approaching 40. The years I spent resisting God led me to ruin: to deny who I was, to ignore the purpose and meaning of life. For months now, I have come to realize that I am quickly becoming one of “them” – those people who call on the Lord’s name in utter joy during moments when the rest of the world is happily living in ignorance (and when I’m around, slight irritation that I keep commenting on God’s wonders!) Call me a Christian, a devout Catholic, a bible thumper, soap-box preacher, born-again…it’s all true. My joy comes from the breath of God that waves over this earth and catches me as I lean toward him. Some folks find refuge in Him for a moment, but fear being called names, like 'do-gooder' or a 'Christian on a mission', and are quick to resume their own means of living and resist God’s love. Other ignore Him altogether and miss the great beauty of a life of love, knowledge, and wisdom.
All that from two minutes of quiet time! When God wants to speak, He certainly will. If we would give Him just a few minutes of our time each day, He will lead us – even to the point of speaking to us through the grass under our feet!
Friday, June 10, 2011
Book Recommendation
Confessions of a Mega Church Pastor, by Allen Hunt
Our parish, St. Therese in the north side of Lansing, MI, offers a plentiful array of resources for Catholics wishing to strengthen their faith and understanding of the One, True Church. Allen Hunt's book has been sitting on a display case for months before my husband finally picked it up...and he couldn't put it down. The next week, he purchased another copy for my mother and she loved it as well. So, I dove into Mr. Hunt's book and was captivated by his honest approach to the beauty and oneness of my faith.
If you are feeling lost in the Church, read Allen's book. If you face questions from non-Catholic friends about the Catholic faith, read his book. If you are a non-Catholic and you don't understand why Catholic's call the Church the ONE church, read it!
A note to Allen Hunt: Thank you for writing this book. I was born into the Catholic faith, but have recently opened my eyes to the true beauty of my Church. Your story has deepened my love for God, for Jesus, for the Holy Spirit in ways I was not expecting. I've been given the gift of tears and felt a true connection to Saint Padre Pio as I prayed the Rosary last night - and it lead me to drive to the adoration chapel in town and visit my Lord and Savior. The Appendices in the book are pulling me forward and I can't wait to discover what God has in store for me today! May God bless you, Allen Hunt!
Our parish, St. Therese in the north side of Lansing, MI, offers a plentiful array of resources for Catholics wishing to strengthen their faith and understanding of the One, True Church. Allen Hunt's book has been sitting on a display case for months before my husband finally picked it up...and he couldn't put it down. The next week, he purchased another copy for my mother and she loved it as well. So, I dove into Mr. Hunt's book and was captivated by his honest approach to the beauty and oneness of my faith.
If you are feeling lost in the Church, read Allen's book. If you face questions from non-Catholic friends about the Catholic faith, read his book. If you are a non-Catholic and you don't understand why Catholic's call the Church the ONE church, read it!
A note to Allen Hunt: Thank you for writing this book. I was born into the Catholic faith, but have recently opened my eyes to the true beauty of my Church. Your story has deepened my love for God, for Jesus, for the Holy Spirit in ways I was not expecting. I've been given the gift of tears and felt a true connection to Saint Padre Pio as I prayed the Rosary last night - and it lead me to drive to the adoration chapel in town and visit my Lord and Savior. The Appendices in the book are pulling me forward and I can't wait to discover what God has in store for me today! May God bless you, Allen Hunt!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Homeschooling Summer
A question keeps cropping up when I'm out and about with the kids: "Are you on summer vacation?" It's an innocent question and should be a simple thing to answer, but the girls turn to me dumbfounded. "How do I answer this?" their faces ask.
As a homeschooling family, we came to the conclusion that it is counter-productive to stop schooling for three whole months. Here's why: the summer between 3rd and 4th grade, my family traveled, played, swam and had a blast! We drove from El Paso, Texas to Grand Rapids, Michigan and visited family for 2 whole weeks. If the weather was nice, I was outside playing. If it wasn't, I was inside playing. And then school started. That first day, the teacher did a series of assessments on her new class: a spelling test of words I should know, a cursive sample, a read aloud section, a short quiz to test my reading comprehension. Before I began the first assignment, I picked up a pencil I it felt completely foreign in my hand. I couldn't remember how to form a capital "J" in cursive. I couldn't remember how to spell the word "your". To no surprise, I was put in the lower reading group.
I don't want that experience for my children for several reasons: 1) I felt stupid; 2) There are wonderful worlds in books to explore; 3) writing in a journal everyday is important in terms of the memories the girls record of their childhood and the treasure that will be for them in their adult life; and 4) a structured day benefits everyone.
Now before you start thinking that I'm a hard-nosed, academic driven mother with lofty dreams for her children, let me agree with that. Our summer is not completely filled with sprinklers and play dates, although those are definitely a part of the structure, we also plan time to read, to write letters to friends and family, to continue in our math books, and to read scripture and attend daily Mass together.
We call this our 'Summer Schedule'. Three days a week we do our History and Science readings. Every day we either go to Mass or read the daily readings together at the table. On Fridays we meet friends at a park. We have scheduled two weeks at two different VBS programs. We are camping and visiting family who live out of town. And we journal daily.
So I encourage you who have children; take them to the store and let them pick out a journal and a pen. Take them to the library once a week so they can participate in the summer reading program. Encourage them by your example to take time each day to read and write. But remember! Before you pick up that best-seller, spend 15 minutes reading a global best-seller: The Bible.
Now my children know how to answer the question: "Are you on summer vacation?" They say, "Yes. We homeschool and are reading really great books. We are doing a tour of parks and playgrounds in our county. And this week we are starting a daily Mass tour of the Catholic churches in Lansing. So far it's a great summer vacation!" (note: I did not coach them to add that last sentence. My children truly are enjoying the structure I'm providing, love the different schedule from the regular school year, and look forward to going to different Catholic churches for daily Mass.)
As a homeschooling family, we came to the conclusion that it is counter-productive to stop schooling for three whole months. Here's why: the summer between 3rd and 4th grade, my family traveled, played, swam and had a blast! We drove from El Paso, Texas to Grand Rapids, Michigan and visited family for 2 whole weeks. If the weather was nice, I was outside playing. If it wasn't, I was inside playing. And then school started. That first day, the teacher did a series of assessments on her new class: a spelling test of words I should know, a cursive sample, a read aloud section, a short quiz to test my reading comprehension. Before I began the first assignment, I picked up a pencil I it felt completely foreign in my hand. I couldn't remember how to form a capital "J" in cursive. I couldn't remember how to spell the word "your". To no surprise, I was put in the lower reading group.
I don't want that experience for my children for several reasons: 1) I felt stupid; 2) There are wonderful worlds in books to explore; 3) writing in a journal everyday is important in terms of the memories the girls record of their childhood and the treasure that will be for them in their adult life; and 4) a structured day benefits everyone.
Now before you start thinking that I'm a hard-nosed, academic driven mother with lofty dreams for her children, let me agree with that. Our summer is not completely filled with sprinklers and play dates, although those are definitely a part of the structure, we also plan time to read, to write letters to friends and family, to continue in our math books, and to read scripture and attend daily Mass together.
We call this our 'Summer Schedule'. Three days a week we do our History and Science readings. Every day we either go to Mass or read the daily readings together at the table. On Fridays we meet friends at a park. We have scheduled two weeks at two different VBS programs. We are camping and visiting family who live out of town. And we journal daily.
So I encourage you who have children; take them to the store and let them pick out a journal and a pen. Take them to the library once a week so they can participate in the summer reading program. Encourage them by your example to take time each day to read and write. But remember! Before you pick up that best-seller, spend 15 minutes reading a global best-seller: The Bible.
Now my children know how to answer the question: "Are you on summer vacation?" They say, "Yes. We homeschool and are reading really great books. We are doing a tour of parks and playgrounds in our county. And this week we are starting a daily Mass tour of the Catholic churches in Lansing. So far it's a great summer vacation!" (note: I did not coach them to add that last sentence. My children truly are enjoying the structure I'm providing, love the different schedule from the regular school year, and look forward to going to different Catholic churches for daily Mass.)
Thursday, May 26, 2011
The Flight of the Mother Bee
My view of motherhood is only 11.5 years old, consisting of: four children, one-income, a growing faith, homeschooling, and a constant feeling that I'm not doing enough to be a great mom.
Yep, that last line is really what guides me as a mom. I question what I do: Am I giving my children enough of my quality time? Am I giving my children enough time away from me? If I make nachos for dinner, am I neglecting their nutrition? Are my actions and words a positive influence on their minds? That is the question that creates the most turbulence: Is what I do really what I want my children to learn? Because I homeschool, they are with me every day, all day. Can I keep that positive attitude that I need to change one more dirty diaper while also teaching fractions to a child on the brink of tears of frustration?
It's my attitude that determines the success of the day. I don't like that kind of pressure, but I think most moms would agree to the truth of that statement.
So how can we, as moms, provide our family with safe, happy days that instill core family values?
Let's take a few lessons from the airlines.
1. If there is a sudden drop in cabin pressure, the oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling. Place your mask on first, then assist a child with his/her mask.
In reality, at times cabin pressure drops without our knowledge. We suddenly find ourselves gasping for breath without the convenience of life-giving oxygen. The best way for me to find time to breathe is to know what my 'oxygen' is. Personally, I find breathing easier when I have time to myself. Everyday, just as much as I need to sleep and eat, I need time alone. With this time I usually read or write, but sometimes all I really want to do is watch a movie without feeling guilty. To find this time, I've started waking up ridiculously early, enjoying the dark quiet of the house, a good book and a hot cup of coffee. When the morning slips by without that time, I stay up late and wrap up my day with a little glass of wine and some writing time. I don't feel sleepy. Just rejuvenated.
This time to myself allows me to better care for my family. When I've taken the time to do what I love to do, then I have more of myself to share with my children and husband.
2. When experiencing turbulence, buckle up.
Turbulence might be a fussy baby, a stubborn child, an argument with your husband, a failed date, a sick child, bad news from a friend - anything. The best safety belt is your faith. Strap it on and hold on. Find the time to pray, to read the Bible and let your children see you doing that so they will know they when life knocks you down, to fall to your knees and lift your voice to God.
3. All baggage must be stored in the overhead compartments.
Ah, baggage. The metaphor is so rich here. At the airports, they have that box that your carry-on luggage is dropped into to make sure it will fit in the storage compartments. How many bags to you carry? I don't mean literally. Go grab a piece of paper and a pen and write down everything you had to do today, all the things you wanted to do today, and then the things that you are worried about. On the back of that page, make a list of everything you are responsible for - mortgage or rent, bills, career, etc. Then make a list of everything you love. Go ahead, I'll wait.
Quite a list isn't it. That's baggage. As women, we carry that list around in our heads at all times. We worry. We manage. We direct. We fix. We stress. We love.
Beware! How many things on your list are just things? What would happen if you gave up half your list - not your responsibilities that keep your family safe and fed and sheltered, but the worries, the fluff, the to-do list? That's heavy baggage and will weigh down the plane.
Every day will have some bumps; some more than others. But a safe flight through parenting means we watch the weather (emotions) forecast and determine our destination carefully. We pack lightly and ask for a window seat so we can see the tops of the clouds and realize that even when we are tucked underneath a cloud-filled sky, somewhere just beyond the grey, there are peaks of clouds bathed in sun. When we are soaked from the rain that just doesn't seem to end, we can acknowledge that the entire world is not rainy and the warm, sunny weather will return. Soon.
Yep, that last line is really what guides me as a mom. I question what I do: Am I giving my children enough of my quality time? Am I giving my children enough time away from me? If I make nachos for dinner, am I neglecting their nutrition? Are my actions and words a positive influence on their minds? That is the question that creates the most turbulence: Is what I do really what I want my children to learn? Because I homeschool, they are with me every day, all day. Can I keep that positive attitude that I need to change one more dirty diaper while also teaching fractions to a child on the brink of tears of frustration?
It's my attitude that determines the success of the day. I don't like that kind of pressure, but I think most moms would agree to the truth of that statement.
So how can we, as moms, provide our family with safe, happy days that instill core family values?
Let's take a few lessons from the airlines.
1. If there is a sudden drop in cabin pressure, the oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling. Place your mask on first, then assist a child with his/her mask.
In reality, at times cabin pressure drops without our knowledge. We suddenly find ourselves gasping for breath without the convenience of life-giving oxygen. The best way for me to find time to breathe is to know what my 'oxygen' is. Personally, I find breathing easier when I have time to myself. Everyday, just as much as I need to sleep and eat, I need time alone. With this time I usually read or write, but sometimes all I really want to do is watch a movie without feeling guilty. To find this time, I've started waking up ridiculously early, enjoying the dark quiet of the house, a good book and a hot cup of coffee. When the morning slips by without that time, I stay up late and wrap up my day with a little glass of wine and some writing time. I don't feel sleepy. Just rejuvenated.
This time to myself allows me to better care for my family. When I've taken the time to do what I love to do, then I have more of myself to share with my children and husband.
2. When experiencing turbulence, buckle up.
Turbulence might be a fussy baby, a stubborn child, an argument with your husband, a failed date, a sick child, bad news from a friend - anything. The best safety belt is your faith. Strap it on and hold on. Find the time to pray, to read the Bible and let your children see you doing that so they will know they when life knocks you down, to fall to your knees and lift your voice to God.
3. All baggage must be stored in the overhead compartments.
Ah, baggage. The metaphor is so rich here. At the airports, they have that box that your carry-on luggage is dropped into to make sure it will fit in the storage compartments. How many bags to you carry? I don't mean literally. Go grab a piece of paper and a pen and write down everything you had to do today, all the things you wanted to do today, and then the things that you are worried about. On the back of that page, make a list of everything you are responsible for - mortgage or rent, bills, career, etc. Then make a list of everything you love. Go ahead, I'll wait.
Quite a list isn't it. That's baggage. As women, we carry that list around in our heads at all times. We worry. We manage. We direct. We fix. We stress. We love.
Beware! How many things on your list are just things? What would happen if you gave up half your list - not your responsibilities that keep your family safe and fed and sheltered, but the worries, the fluff, the to-do list? That's heavy baggage and will weigh down the plane.
Every day will have some bumps; some more than others. But a safe flight through parenting means we watch the weather (emotions) forecast and determine our destination carefully. We pack lightly and ask for a window seat so we can see the tops of the clouds and realize that even when we are tucked underneath a cloud-filled sky, somewhere just beyond the grey, there are peaks of clouds bathed in sun. When we are soaked from the rain that just doesn't seem to end, we can acknowledge that the entire world is not rainy and the warm, sunny weather will return. Soon.
On the Edge of Teenagerville
I feel that my career as a parent has taught me a great many things: dirt doesn't hurt, cuddle time is more important than timely dinners, and the smaller the child the more room they require.
I also know that I have so much more to learn. My oldest daughter will be 12 in six months, which brings our family to the brink of Teenagerville, a hilly town with beautifully twisting roads, and sunny weather, but plenty of dark alleys in which the roaming visitor can be quickly lost. This post is not about how to raise a child through teenagerhood - I don't have that knowledge yet. It's about coming to that "Welcome to Teenagerville" sign and realizing that your child will walk away from you as you enter this stage of life.
And that's actually a good thing if it's handled in a positive way.
Years ago I read an amazing essay which compared teenagers to the space program launching a satellite. First, great care is taken in forming the satellite, programming it with all the necessary information, guidelines, and code to be successful after liftoff. Next, trial runs are performed and the bugs are worked out. Scientists spend insane amounts of time working on the satellite in preparation for the big day, which draws ever closer with great anticipation. And then, when the big day arrives, the satellite is launched in a blazing ball of fire and thrown into orbit. For the next 8-10 years, communication between the satellite and scientist is sketchy, or sometimes non-existent, as the Scientist realizes that not every bug was worked out of the system and the interference of several other satellites prevents many messages from getting through. And just as the scientist believes that the satellite has been lost forever among all the space junk, it comes crashing home (where it may or may not be kept in the spare room in the basement).
While that description of adolescence is certainly accurate for many, I don't believe it needs to be considered the standard. As parents, it is our job to walk that fine line as our children break free from the shell of childhood and find their wings of adulthood; to, in essence, work diligently so that we are not needed when they reach their 20's but that they will want to be with us, standing side-by-side as independent adults.
While I can't foretell every problem that teens will experience and how parents should handle those situations, I do know that parents who pray have an edge over parents who don't. Even more, parents who pray with their families or within ear shot of their families have a greater advantage. It's not a race to the finish to see which parents come through unscathed, nor is this a magic formula that will guarantee protection for our families. Prayer is simply the energy of the Holy Spirit put to work within the moments of fear and desperation. Parents need to pray and children need to learn how to pray from their parents. If this concept of daily prayer is new to you, then I encourage you to find a mature Christian who has spent years praying and talk to them - ask him or her to act as a mentor for you as you learn how to walk this new walk.
Teenagerville might look like a scary place, especially as we consider our own memories of adolescence and the new troubles that face our children. But it's also a place we can't avoid. My children, in listening to the stories of the junior high students I taught, in seeing the unsupervised teens at the Mall or the movie theater, are now convinced that all teenagers are under a negative influence and more likely to sin than most people. And I believe they are correct. Teens crave independence, but lack the knowledge of life that would allow them to navigate their choices carefully. Teen pregnancy is at a high. Drug use is still an epidemic. Runaways, a lack of enough good teachers, a decline of positive parenting, and a move by the government to remove parental rights has truly injured the family at its core. These are not things which one person (a.k.a. a teacher or a religious leader) can take on single-handed. These are issues that will most likely always be issues, and therefore we must prepare our children to be a beam of light to the Father, the Son and the Holy Sprit for those who have not been taught that way of life.
I'm convinced, that if I pray daily, if I appeal to God for assistance for my children, if I work diligently to protect my children from the harmful effects of this society of ours, I can minimize the negativity of adolescence. I want them to experience the emotions of growing up. I believe that it's healthy and normal and necessary to feel the sting of rejection, to experience the stigma of being Catholic and learning how to defend the Faith. I learned valuable lessons when I was pushed and shoved and tried to turn the other cheek. I believe that who I am today is a result of making good choices and learning from the bad choices. I'm also incredibly thankful to my parents who worked to protect me from society, waiting until I was old enough to comprehend abstract ideas and the truth of cruelty. By providing a safe place for my children, in responding in love (not anger) toward my children when they disappoint me, I can open doors that will most likely save them.
I say all this as I look into the future, hoping that God's mercy will guide me. (That really means that I hope that I can remain true to my faith no matter what comes our way.) There is a great need for husbands and wives to stand strongly, hand-in-hand as their children become adults. It's vital to the survival of the family unit to have family friends whose values are enriched with scripture and traditions of the Faith. We are about to launch into a tornado of events and will require the Holy (Red) Cross to provide for us in moments of need. Stand Strong...no...kneel. Kneel in submission to God, just as Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane. We will emerge victorious if we remain true to God's Word.
I will be praying for you!
I also know that I have so much more to learn. My oldest daughter will be 12 in six months, which brings our family to the brink of Teenagerville, a hilly town with beautifully twisting roads, and sunny weather, but plenty of dark alleys in which the roaming visitor can be quickly lost. This post is not about how to raise a child through teenagerhood - I don't have that knowledge yet. It's about coming to that "Welcome to Teenagerville" sign and realizing that your child will walk away from you as you enter this stage of life.
And that's actually a good thing if it's handled in a positive way.
Years ago I read an amazing essay which compared teenagers to the space program launching a satellite. First, great care is taken in forming the satellite, programming it with all the necessary information, guidelines, and code to be successful after liftoff. Next, trial runs are performed and the bugs are worked out. Scientists spend insane amounts of time working on the satellite in preparation for the big day, which draws ever closer with great anticipation. And then, when the big day arrives, the satellite is launched in a blazing ball of fire and thrown into orbit. For the next 8-10 years, communication between the satellite and scientist is sketchy, or sometimes non-existent, as the Scientist realizes that not every bug was worked out of the system and the interference of several other satellites prevents many messages from getting through. And just as the scientist believes that the satellite has been lost forever among all the space junk, it comes crashing home (where it may or may not be kept in the spare room in the basement).
While that description of adolescence is certainly accurate for many, I don't believe it needs to be considered the standard. As parents, it is our job to walk that fine line as our children break free from the shell of childhood and find their wings of adulthood; to, in essence, work diligently so that we are not needed when they reach their 20's but that they will want to be with us, standing side-by-side as independent adults.
While I can't foretell every problem that teens will experience and how parents should handle those situations, I do know that parents who pray have an edge over parents who don't. Even more, parents who pray with their families or within ear shot of their families have a greater advantage. It's not a race to the finish to see which parents come through unscathed, nor is this a magic formula that will guarantee protection for our families. Prayer is simply the energy of the Holy Spirit put to work within the moments of fear and desperation. Parents need to pray and children need to learn how to pray from their parents. If this concept of daily prayer is new to you, then I encourage you to find a mature Christian who has spent years praying and talk to them - ask him or her to act as a mentor for you as you learn how to walk this new walk.
Teenagerville might look like a scary place, especially as we consider our own memories of adolescence and the new troubles that face our children. But it's also a place we can't avoid. My children, in listening to the stories of the junior high students I taught, in seeing the unsupervised teens at the Mall or the movie theater, are now convinced that all teenagers are under a negative influence and more likely to sin than most people. And I believe they are correct. Teens crave independence, but lack the knowledge of life that would allow them to navigate their choices carefully. Teen pregnancy is at a high. Drug use is still an epidemic. Runaways, a lack of enough good teachers, a decline of positive parenting, and a move by the government to remove parental rights has truly injured the family at its core. These are not things which one person (a.k.a. a teacher or a religious leader) can take on single-handed. These are issues that will most likely always be issues, and therefore we must prepare our children to be a beam of light to the Father, the Son and the Holy Sprit for those who have not been taught that way of life.
I'm convinced, that if I pray daily, if I appeal to God for assistance for my children, if I work diligently to protect my children from the harmful effects of this society of ours, I can minimize the negativity of adolescence. I want them to experience the emotions of growing up. I believe that it's healthy and normal and necessary to feel the sting of rejection, to experience the stigma of being Catholic and learning how to defend the Faith. I learned valuable lessons when I was pushed and shoved and tried to turn the other cheek. I believe that who I am today is a result of making good choices and learning from the bad choices. I'm also incredibly thankful to my parents who worked to protect me from society, waiting until I was old enough to comprehend abstract ideas and the truth of cruelty. By providing a safe place for my children, in responding in love (not anger) toward my children when they disappoint me, I can open doors that will most likely save them.
I say all this as I look into the future, hoping that God's mercy will guide me. (That really means that I hope that I can remain true to my faith no matter what comes our way.) There is a great need for husbands and wives to stand strongly, hand-in-hand as their children become adults. It's vital to the survival of the family unit to have family friends whose values are enriched with scripture and traditions of the Faith. We are about to launch into a tornado of events and will require the Holy (Red) Cross to provide for us in moments of need. Stand Strong...no...kneel. Kneel in submission to God, just as Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane. We will emerge victorious if we remain true to God's Word.
I will be praying for you!
Monday, May 23, 2011
Wanted: A Mentor
The days of Apprenticeship are gone. Or mostly gone. There are very few careers that utilize the concept of apprenticeship, relying more on college educations, trade schools or sheer luck to find a job at which to excel.
There are informal ways in which we can find - or become - mentors. The Boys and Girls club, Big Brothers and Big Sisters, and tutoring are just a few. But personally, I've discovered the need for a mentor to assist me in growing spiritually. I crave a deeper prayer life. I want to know Jesus more, to have a personal relationship with him. I've heard all the words and am reading the books that will help me find this rich spirituality and faith, but what I'm missing is a person who already had that and is willing to teach me.
As I think and pray on this idea, I realize that the concept of having someone to go to is slipping away on the tide of technology. Many people now prefer the ease of texting over talking, emails over phone calls and facebook posts over everything. So often I will reach out to a friend on the phone and find their voice mail box is full. Cravings for a friend's voice become extreme. How is it possible that in a society with a plethora of communication technology, I feel more lonely than ever? Why is the spoken word becoming obsolete?
There was a day when the spoken word was all humankind had to share history, stories and to make promises. Jesus freed people form demons at the sound of his voice, and later his followers do the same using Jesus' name. Our prayers are more powerful if we speak them. A song can only be experienced through a voice. Isaac spoke a blessing over the wrong son and couldn't take it back because he had used the power of his voice. If a word spoken on this lips of man has that much power, it's no surprise that despair is gripping our world when we are virtually silent.
I encourage all who read this to reach out to someone and talk. Technology has it's place, but it certainly isn't to be used to deepen a relationship. God gave us what we need to survive, which is why we are not born with a USB port in our ear. I earnestly desire a person who will 'unplug' and spend time with me, talk to me, listen to me, and be face-to-face with me. Time together is free and requires no loading time. I believe if we come together, we will rediscover the gift of the human spirit, the sanctity of the human soul, and the purity of God's plan for the human race.
There are informal ways in which we can find - or become - mentors. The Boys and Girls club, Big Brothers and Big Sisters, and tutoring are just a few. But personally, I've discovered the need for a mentor to assist me in growing spiritually. I crave a deeper prayer life. I want to know Jesus more, to have a personal relationship with him. I've heard all the words and am reading the books that will help me find this rich spirituality and faith, but what I'm missing is a person who already had that and is willing to teach me.
As I think and pray on this idea, I realize that the concept of having someone to go to is slipping away on the tide of technology. Many people now prefer the ease of texting over talking, emails over phone calls and facebook posts over everything. So often I will reach out to a friend on the phone and find their voice mail box is full. Cravings for a friend's voice become extreme. How is it possible that in a society with a plethora of communication technology, I feel more lonely than ever? Why is the spoken word becoming obsolete?
There was a day when the spoken word was all humankind had to share history, stories and to make promises. Jesus freed people form demons at the sound of his voice, and later his followers do the same using Jesus' name. Our prayers are more powerful if we speak them. A song can only be experienced through a voice. Isaac spoke a blessing over the wrong son and couldn't take it back because he had used the power of his voice. If a word spoken on this lips of man has that much power, it's no surprise that despair is gripping our world when we are virtually silent.
I encourage all who read this to reach out to someone and talk. Technology has it's place, but it certainly isn't to be used to deepen a relationship. God gave us what we need to survive, which is why we are not born with a USB port in our ear. I earnestly desire a person who will 'unplug' and spend time with me, talk to me, listen to me, and be face-to-face with me. Time together is free and requires no loading time. I believe if we come together, we will rediscover the gift of the human spirit, the sanctity of the human soul, and the purity of God's plan for the human race.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Was Anyone Raptured Yesterday?
May 21, 2011 came and went without any major natural catastrophe, no reports of mass raptures, nothing. How disappointed the people who truly believed that yesterday was to be the end must feel. I feel badly for them. For those who thought the world was going to end, they prepared in some way for it: settling all their accounts and spending time with loved ones (the responsible action), or spending all their savings and partying 'till the sun rose this morning (not so responsible).
All this fuss came about because one man supposedly found clues in the bible that lead him to believe that he discovered the code to the Last Day. One man spent time with the bible looking for answers to questions and thought he found it.
If one man can decode a false Last Day, what other false teachings can be gleaned from the sacred Word of God? It's easy to see that this is an epidemic as there are over 33,000 Christian churches world-wide. That's over 33,000 different interpretations of the same book. How can that be? Didn't Jesus warn us that a house divided against itself could not stand? This is why having an established understanding and purpose for reading and comprehending the bible is crucial for spiritual growth and safety.
A few years ago I went to a Protestant church for Sunday service. The pastor went on for over an hour about how the bible revealed the truth of Cancer - that it was a sign that people who suffered from that disease were not truly in love with God and were being tormented by a Cancer demon.
What?! I couldn't believe my ears. Nothing in the Catholic faith even resembled this gem. In his search to understand why bad things happen, one little verse in the bible brought him to this conclusion (I don't remember the verse). Damage was done that day. The members of that church left thinking that they could protect themselves from cancer by deepening their faith in God (perhaps true) and that those afflicted with cancer were not true believers (certainly not true). The Catholic church teaches that God does not create evil, but can take evil and transform it into a blessing. If someone is diagnosed with cancer, God can use that time of illness to deepen that person's faith. God can bring families together, heal wounds and instill peace through times of trouble.
This is why Catholic teachings are so important. Directly from the Apostles, straight from the men who spent three years learning from Jesus, receiving the Holy Spirit and then dying for their belief in Jesus, straight from the church that selected and organized the Christian Bible, we have a faith that has stood the test of time - over 2,000 years. The organization of the Church, the longevity of the Church Christ himself established, has acquired thousands of writings from Holy men and women, Saints and Popes that lead us up that narrow and difficult path toward an eternity in heaven.
Looking for truth? Look to the Catholic Church for answers. Looking for family? Come to the Christian faith. Need to find strength? Look to the Bible and discover the truth of God's Word through the Catholic Catechism, the Sacraments, and prayer. The truth of the Catholic Church has been tested in fire and still stands strong.
Taking a lesson from those who prepared for the end of the world as we know it, I'm going to follow Catholic traditions and prepare for the coming of Our Lord in the manner in which I was taught: Eucharist, Reconciliation, Christian community, and Prayer. This is how God wants us to live and wait for his return. After all, God created man so that we would live in perfect union with Him forever. Why would God destroy his creation to bring about an end to what He loves?
All this fuss came about because one man supposedly found clues in the bible that lead him to believe that he discovered the code to the Last Day. One man spent time with the bible looking for answers to questions and thought he found it.
If one man can decode a false Last Day, what other false teachings can be gleaned from the sacred Word of God? It's easy to see that this is an epidemic as there are over 33,000 Christian churches world-wide. That's over 33,000 different interpretations of the same book. How can that be? Didn't Jesus warn us that a house divided against itself could not stand? This is why having an established understanding and purpose for reading and comprehending the bible is crucial for spiritual growth and safety.
A few years ago I went to a Protestant church for Sunday service. The pastor went on for over an hour about how the bible revealed the truth of Cancer - that it was a sign that people who suffered from that disease were not truly in love with God and were being tormented by a Cancer demon.
What?! I couldn't believe my ears. Nothing in the Catholic faith even resembled this gem. In his search to understand why bad things happen, one little verse in the bible brought him to this conclusion (I don't remember the verse). Damage was done that day. The members of that church left thinking that they could protect themselves from cancer by deepening their faith in God (perhaps true) and that those afflicted with cancer were not true believers (certainly not true). The Catholic church teaches that God does not create evil, but can take evil and transform it into a blessing. If someone is diagnosed with cancer, God can use that time of illness to deepen that person's faith. God can bring families together, heal wounds and instill peace through times of trouble.
This is why Catholic teachings are so important. Directly from the Apostles, straight from the men who spent three years learning from Jesus, receiving the Holy Spirit and then dying for their belief in Jesus, straight from the church that selected and organized the Christian Bible, we have a faith that has stood the test of time - over 2,000 years. The organization of the Church, the longevity of the Church Christ himself established, has acquired thousands of writings from Holy men and women, Saints and Popes that lead us up that narrow and difficult path toward an eternity in heaven.
Looking for truth? Look to the Catholic Church for answers. Looking for family? Come to the Christian faith. Need to find strength? Look to the Bible and discover the truth of God's Word through the Catholic Catechism, the Sacraments, and prayer. The truth of the Catholic Church has been tested in fire and still stands strong.
Taking a lesson from those who prepared for the end of the world as we know it, I'm going to follow Catholic traditions and prepare for the coming of Our Lord in the manner in which I was taught: Eucharist, Reconciliation, Christian community, and Prayer. This is how God wants us to live and wait for his return. After all, God created man so that we would live in perfect union with Him forever. Why would God destroy his creation to bring about an end to what He loves?
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Recipe - Almond Date Cookies
We have an unspoken rule at our house: "If it isn't healthy, we don't eat it." We do occasionally treat the kids to ice cream...we are not completely rigid on our healthy lifestyle which I hope will provide some balance for our family. Children who are deprived from all sweets (and adults to, for that matter) have a tendency to over-do it when given the opportunity.
For those in-between celebration days (sing "Happy Un-Birthday to Me!) I like to make treats that are both sweetened naturally and packed with good fats and proteins to make playtime a more energetic experience. It's true. The food we give our children affects how they play. If you want to do an experiment try this...make the following recipe and give your child two cookies. Then go outside and play. The next day, give them a glass of Kool-Aid and a regular cookie, then go outside and play. You'll find that the sugary snack increases the intensity of everything: voice volume, violence of play, and the duration - children have a tendency to act out in a more aggressive manner and collapse in tears.
For me, providing healthy options for my family is a must, but I also love recipes that require very few ingredients and don't take long to make. Almond Date cookies are one of my favorites.
Almond Date Cookies:
1 cup almonds, soaked in water for at least 6 hours (I soak them overnight and make the cookies in the morning.)
1/3 cup pitted dates
1 egg
Drain the almonds. Place all ingredients in a food processor or a powerful blender and blend until nicely chopped. (Play around with this - the finer the blending, the thinner the cookie.) Roll into balls and place on parchment paper covered cookie sheet. Press the cookies to flatten a bit. Bake @ 350 degrees F. for 10 minutes. The cooking time will vary depending on how big the cookies are.
NOTE: if you want to replace the egg, try soaking 1 TBSP ground flax seeds in 3 TBSP water for 15 minutes. That increases the healthy fats in the cookie as well.
For those in-between celebration days (sing "Happy Un-Birthday to Me!) I like to make treats that are both sweetened naturally and packed with good fats and proteins to make playtime a more energetic experience. It's true. The food we give our children affects how they play. If you want to do an experiment try this...make the following recipe and give your child two cookies. Then go outside and play. The next day, give them a glass of Kool-Aid and a regular cookie, then go outside and play. You'll find that the sugary snack increases the intensity of everything: voice volume, violence of play, and the duration - children have a tendency to act out in a more aggressive manner and collapse in tears.
For me, providing healthy options for my family is a must, but I also love recipes that require very few ingredients and don't take long to make. Almond Date cookies are one of my favorites.
Almond Date Cookies:
1 cup almonds, soaked in water for at least 6 hours (I soak them overnight and make the cookies in the morning.)
1/3 cup pitted dates
1 egg
Drain the almonds. Place all ingredients in a food processor or a powerful blender and blend until nicely chopped. (Play around with this - the finer the blending, the thinner the cookie.) Roll into balls and place on parchment paper covered cookie sheet. Press the cookies to flatten a bit. Bake @ 350 degrees F. for 10 minutes. The cooking time will vary depending on how big the cookies are.
NOTE: if you want to replace the egg, try soaking 1 TBSP ground flax seeds in 3 TBSP water for 15 minutes. That increases the healthy fats in the cookie as well.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Living Within Your Means
If you've read any previous post, you know that I am a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom - which means that my husband and I manage our household on a single income. He owns his own business, which comes with the blessing of being his own boss, and the burden of paying for everything. As wife and mother, it falls on me to use what he brings home to feed and clothe my family. This could be a ridiculous burden, but I found that if I make it a game, I love the challenge.
I'm know that we make less money than many, many people. I also know that we make more than many. But I believe that what we do to stay afloat in the economy will uncover some options for others who also want to trim their budget.
God First
Before I write another word, I must stress the importance of putting God first in your life. Begin the day in prayer, spend the day in prayer, end the day in prayer. In doing so, I have discovered a fullness and satisfaction with my little life that makes a great difference. I know what I have and I don't worry about what I don't have. Tithing and charity are no longer burdens on us financially, but acts of true love.
Clothing
I no longer shop for clothes at the Mall or department stores. I first go to the Second Hand stores and Consignment shops. If you have never explored the world of second-hand shopping, give it a try before you pooh-pooh the idea! With my children growing, keeping them in well-fitting, nice clothing could break the bank. But with some smart shopping and a little digging through the racks, I was able to buy 6 pairs of pants and capris, 4 pairs of shorts, 1 pair of shoes (never worn), and 9 shirts for less than $50. To purchase these new, averaging each item at $20.00 (which I think is conservative) would have cost me $400. I saved $350. My daughters and I laughed as we left that second-hand store with all our purchases stuffed into a giant black trash bag. True, I miss the new clothes that are wrapped in tissue paper and placed lovingly into a thick paper bag with handles. I'm over that - with a savings of several hundred dollars, I'll take the garbage bag of clothes.
There are some clothing items that we do purchase new - underwear. This is my preference, and I'm sure you can understand why. Even in purchasing undergarments new, I've discovered that mega stores like Sam's Club, Walmart, and Meijer and sometimes at department stores that offer coupons, I can find reasonable prices for these private necessities.
Second-hand clothing can be a sticking point for many people. Well, get over it. If you are looking to save money, put your pride on the shelf. You will be amazed by the freedom you find in the treasures that consignment shops offer and you will love the money you save - 80% off department store prices.
Food
Providing my family with healthy food options is a huge priority. My husband is a personal trainer with a degree is nutrition and I have diabetes that I manage mostly through my diet. It is not an option for me to clip coupons to save money since most of the coupon items are boxed and prepackaged foods, which are high in carbohydrates and therefore not a healthy choice for me (or anyone, for that matter). So what do we do?
We plan ahead. Using a calendar, I plan out the weekly menu, first using items that I already have, then shopping for what we need. A valuable part of the planning meals includes a 'buffet night', which I schedule for the day before I go grocery shopping when I set out all the leftovers from the week. Since I have been meal planning, I've tracked a 40% reduction in my monthly grocery bill.
I plan that weekly menu around what's on sale that week at the grocery store. The savings on a weekly basis range from $10.00 to $35.00 depending on the sales. I also talked with the produce guy at my local grocery store about the discounted fruit shelf - you know, when there is an overstock of fruits and veggies so they package up the older produce and sell at 50%- 90% off. I go to the store on the morning after they package up that fruit. I've been able to trim my grocery bill another 15%-30% by doing this. Yes, we eat that much in fruits and vegetables. And no, the fruit isn't much different than what pretty displays hold.
Another food plan we utilize is purchasing quality food in bulk. Sam's Club and Costco are great places to purchase items such as: oatmeal, flour, rice, coffee, tea and canned goods in bulk. Of course, if storage is a problem, you will need to be a little creative, but it will be worth the effort.
Contact local farmers for purchasing meat in bulk. The initial expense it quite a bit - we spent $822 on a half of a cow this year, providing us with 330 pounds of meat, but considering that from that expense we have a full chest freezer of ground beef, steaks, roasts, and ribs - enough to last us an entire year if we eat meat 3-4 times a week, that's a bargain. Our price per pound for ground beef, steaks and roasts was $2.50. Today at the store, steaks are $10.00 pound and ground beef is 3.50 (unless you can find it on sale). Purchasing our meat directly from a farmer has saved us $565.00 this year. Again, storage could be an issue and while it might be an expense to purchase a chest freezer, check out those second-hand stores and let people know what you are looking for and it will come to you.
Fitness
The Health and Nutrition field is a million dollar market - and I don't mean doctor bills, but health club memberships, workout equipment, clothing, and DVDs. This could be money well spent if it is used daily, but as many of us can testify, treadmills make great clothing hangers and dumbbells are great door stops.
Instead of joining a club, try the great outdoors. Spring, summer and fall are the easiest months to take the workout outside. Find a park with trails and walk. Do push-ups on benches and lunges from this tree to that tree. Buy a jump rope for $3.00 and feel like a kid again. Find friends to walk or jog with. Trade workout DVDs with friends and try something new.
The potential to save here is unlimited and can only be judged by how much you have spent in the past. No matter what your fitness needs or goals are, you can always do more and spend less.
Vacations
Summer is the season to get out of town and relax. For us, we go camping. For a mere $12-$27 a night, we can pitch our tent or park the camper and find fun in God's natural world. Yes, we plan our meals when we camp and yes, we go for hikes to include exercise in our vacations. Instead of spending $4000 - $5000 on airline tickets and hotels, amusement parks and restaurants, we spend on average $150-$200 a camping trip depending on how far we travel. With gas prices floating at $4.00/gallon and up, we will spend more time camping closer to home. (Note that the cost of camping includes what you would normally spend on food - since you have to eat, it's not an extra expense.)
A very dear friend of mine loathes the idea of camping. Can't say I blame her - we have spent many afternoons in our camper playing board games and watching movies on the laptop while it rains (which I don't mind - vacations are meant to be spent with family). For her family, searching for a hotel is a better choice. There are many lodges that offer swimming, game rooms, craft rooms and local attractions. During the winter months, our family goes to Pokagon State Park in Angola, Indiana and stay at the Potowatomi Inn. From November to April, all Indiana State Park Inns offer two-nights-for-the-price-of-one from Sunday to Thursday. With a pool, hiking trails, a wonderful nature center, craft room, game room and restaurants, we can have three days and two nights for less than $150, (We bring a cooler of food, again planning our meals so it doesn't add any extra cost for food and only eating one or two meals in the restaurant). Indiana's state parks offer several family deals with amenities. If you are a hotel-camper, I highly encourage you to go to http://www.in.gov/dnr/.
Home Repair
I'll keep this one simple - if you can do it yourself, do it yourself. Painting, plumbing, remodeling or any other fix-it project can raise blood-pressure and leave dusty footprints throughout the house, but how you approach any project will make the difference. Remember that saving money can be challenging, but also fun. Keep that positive attitude and soldier forth. And know when to call the professional. Sometimes the best way to save money is to have someone else do it right the first time.
Also ask yourself if the project is necessary. If it's plumbing, necessity is assumed. But remodeling projects might be better saved for later when the budget is less sticky. Until then, what can you do to improve the house? Cleaning and de-cluttering (and then selling those items online or at consignment stores for extra income), are two places to begin.
Entertainment
This is my specialty. I love having people over for dinner,grilling burgers (that we bought directly from the farmer) and serving new recipes (which I have planned a week before). We don't rent movies often, but we do that more than we go to the theater, when we also use coupons, go to matinees or look for special pricing from nearby theaters (which, honestly happens maybe twice a year). Instead, we play board games and card games and listen to books on tape from the library. We go for walks and hikes and bike rides. Our city offers free entertainment that allows us to explore where we live and discover new places to visit. There are several cities nation-wide that plan a "Be a Tourist In Your Own Town" day that opens all the museums for free and provides $0.50 all-day bus rides. Grand Rapids, MI has the newly established Art Prize with free-to-low-cost transportation. If you know of other fun and free entertainment venues, please share!
When you were a kid, did you ever play in the sprinkler? How many kids still do that? Mine do. It's cheap, fun and takes the pinch off the summer heat. Make your own popsicles. Find a local pool or park that offers swimming and a playground. Pitch a tent in the backyard, or (gasp!) make a tent out of blankets. Go to the library and find a good book, a book on tape, or a movie to rent for free. Dig out board games like: Sorry, Life, Trouble, or a deck of cards and play. Tell stories about your childhood (believe me, your kids will love it!). Find the simple and put it into play. It's the best way to enjoy the summer and find time to bond with your family.
Married? The rage right now is to date your spouse to keep the relationship healthy. This is tough for us as we would need to hire a sitter and then pay for dinner and a movie. The idea of dropping a $100 to spend time with my husband doesn't feel right considering our economic state. So how can I have my cake and eat it too? We plan our dates after the kids bedtime. I will take the kids to the park and have fun with them, wearing them out a little more than usual so they will go to bed early. Their dinner and bed time comes an hour earlier on our date nights. Then, using a movie I've rented from the library ($1.00) and dinner (which was planned and paid for on the shopping day) my husband and I have dinner and movie night.
Will My Plan Work for You?
The plan my husband and I use works well for us, but we didn't just sit down and create the perfect plan. This has taken our entire marriage to come to this place and it will change when his income changes (for better or worse). From openly discussing our budget and living within our means, we no longer worry about what we don't have and enjoy all the blessings God has given us - and that can work for everyone. The key to any successful budget plan is to start with what you have, work with what you earn, and forget the rest. Find the joy of finding a good deal, the satisfaction of doing with less, and the relief of saving money to pay off debt or get ahead. How well your plan works for you is all up to you.
A few weeks ago, we had dinner with friends and they congratulated us on living so nicely on almost no money. I have never thought of my family having nothing. I suppose we are quite simple in our living compared to some, but I know that what we have gained in this life-style are wonderful children, a strong marriage and a blessed understanding of knowing that God is taking care of us because we are putting Him first in our lives.
I'm know that we make less money than many, many people. I also know that we make more than many. But I believe that what we do to stay afloat in the economy will uncover some options for others who also want to trim their budget.
God First
Before I write another word, I must stress the importance of putting God first in your life. Begin the day in prayer, spend the day in prayer, end the day in prayer. In doing so, I have discovered a fullness and satisfaction with my little life that makes a great difference. I know what I have and I don't worry about what I don't have. Tithing and charity are no longer burdens on us financially, but acts of true love.
Clothing
I no longer shop for clothes at the Mall or department stores. I first go to the Second Hand stores and Consignment shops. If you have never explored the world of second-hand shopping, give it a try before you pooh-pooh the idea! With my children growing, keeping them in well-fitting, nice clothing could break the bank. But with some smart shopping and a little digging through the racks, I was able to buy 6 pairs of pants and capris, 4 pairs of shorts, 1 pair of shoes (never worn), and 9 shirts for less than $50. To purchase these new, averaging each item at $20.00 (which I think is conservative) would have cost me $400. I saved $350. My daughters and I laughed as we left that second-hand store with all our purchases stuffed into a giant black trash bag. True, I miss the new clothes that are wrapped in tissue paper and placed lovingly into a thick paper bag with handles. I'm over that - with a savings of several hundred dollars, I'll take the garbage bag of clothes.
There are some clothing items that we do purchase new - underwear. This is my preference, and I'm sure you can understand why. Even in purchasing undergarments new, I've discovered that mega stores like Sam's Club, Walmart, and Meijer and sometimes at department stores that offer coupons, I can find reasonable prices for these private necessities.
Second-hand clothing can be a sticking point for many people. Well, get over it. If you are looking to save money, put your pride on the shelf. You will be amazed by the freedom you find in the treasures that consignment shops offer and you will love the money you save - 80% off department store prices.
Food
Providing my family with healthy food options is a huge priority. My husband is a personal trainer with a degree is nutrition and I have diabetes that I manage mostly through my diet. It is not an option for me to clip coupons to save money since most of the coupon items are boxed and prepackaged foods, which are high in carbohydrates and therefore not a healthy choice for me (or anyone, for that matter). So what do we do?
We plan ahead. Using a calendar, I plan out the weekly menu, first using items that I already have, then shopping for what we need. A valuable part of the planning meals includes a 'buffet night', which I schedule for the day before I go grocery shopping when I set out all the leftovers from the week. Since I have been meal planning, I've tracked a 40% reduction in my monthly grocery bill.
I plan that weekly menu around what's on sale that week at the grocery store. The savings on a weekly basis range from $10.00 to $35.00 depending on the sales. I also talked with the produce guy at my local grocery store about the discounted fruit shelf - you know, when there is an overstock of fruits and veggies so they package up the older produce and sell at 50%- 90% off. I go to the store on the morning after they package up that fruit. I've been able to trim my grocery bill another 15%-30% by doing this. Yes, we eat that much in fruits and vegetables. And no, the fruit isn't much different than what pretty displays hold.
Another food plan we utilize is purchasing quality food in bulk. Sam's Club and Costco are great places to purchase items such as: oatmeal, flour, rice, coffee, tea and canned goods in bulk. Of course, if storage is a problem, you will need to be a little creative, but it will be worth the effort.
Contact local farmers for purchasing meat in bulk. The initial expense it quite a bit - we spent $822 on a half of a cow this year, providing us with 330 pounds of meat, but considering that from that expense we have a full chest freezer of ground beef, steaks, roasts, and ribs - enough to last us an entire year if we eat meat 3-4 times a week, that's a bargain. Our price per pound for ground beef, steaks and roasts was $2.50. Today at the store, steaks are $10.00 pound and ground beef is 3.50 (unless you can find it on sale). Purchasing our meat directly from a farmer has saved us $565.00 this year. Again, storage could be an issue and while it might be an expense to purchase a chest freezer, check out those second-hand stores and let people know what you are looking for and it will come to you.
Fitness
The Health and Nutrition field is a million dollar market - and I don't mean doctor bills, but health club memberships, workout equipment, clothing, and DVDs. This could be money well spent if it is used daily, but as many of us can testify, treadmills make great clothing hangers and dumbbells are great door stops.
Instead of joining a club, try the great outdoors. Spring, summer and fall are the easiest months to take the workout outside. Find a park with trails and walk. Do push-ups on benches and lunges from this tree to that tree. Buy a jump rope for $3.00 and feel like a kid again. Find friends to walk or jog with. Trade workout DVDs with friends and try something new.
The potential to save here is unlimited and can only be judged by how much you have spent in the past. No matter what your fitness needs or goals are, you can always do more and spend less.
Vacations
Summer is the season to get out of town and relax. For us, we go camping. For a mere $12-$27 a night, we can pitch our tent or park the camper and find fun in God's natural world. Yes, we plan our meals when we camp and yes, we go for hikes to include exercise in our vacations. Instead of spending $4000 - $5000 on airline tickets and hotels, amusement parks and restaurants, we spend on average $150-$200 a camping trip depending on how far we travel. With gas prices floating at $4.00/gallon and up, we will spend more time camping closer to home. (Note that the cost of camping includes what you would normally spend on food - since you have to eat, it's not an extra expense.)
A very dear friend of mine loathes the idea of camping. Can't say I blame her - we have spent many afternoons in our camper playing board games and watching movies on the laptop while it rains (which I don't mind - vacations are meant to be spent with family). For her family, searching for a hotel is a better choice. There are many lodges that offer swimming, game rooms, craft rooms and local attractions. During the winter months, our family goes to Pokagon State Park in Angola, Indiana and stay at the Potowatomi Inn. From November to April, all Indiana State Park Inns offer two-nights-for-the-price-of-one from Sunday to Thursday. With a pool, hiking trails, a wonderful nature center, craft room, game room and restaurants, we can have three days and two nights for less than $150, (We bring a cooler of food, again planning our meals so it doesn't add any extra cost for food and only eating one or two meals in the restaurant). Indiana's state parks offer several family deals with amenities. If you are a hotel-camper, I highly encourage you to go to http://www.in.gov/dnr/.
Home Repair
I'll keep this one simple - if you can do it yourself, do it yourself. Painting, plumbing, remodeling or any other fix-it project can raise blood-pressure and leave dusty footprints throughout the house, but how you approach any project will make the difference. Remember that saving money can be challenging, but also fun. Keep that positive attitude and soldier forth. And know when to call the professional. Sometimes the best way to save money is to have someone else do it right the first time.
Also ask yourself if the project is necessary. If it's plumbing, necessity is assumed. But remodeling projects might be better saved for later when the budget is less sticky. Until then, what can you do to improve the house? Cleaning and de-cluttering (and then selling those items online or at consignment stores for extra income), are two places to begin.
Entertainment
This is my specialty. I love having people over for dinner,grilling burgers (that we bought directly from the farmer) and serving new recipes (which I have planned a week before). We don't rent movies often, but we do that more than we go to the theater, when we also use coupons, go to matinees or look for special pricing from nearby theaters (which, honestly happens maybe twice a year). Instead, we play board games and card games and listen to books on tape from the library. We go for walks and hikes and bike rides. Our city offers free entertainment that allows us to explore where we live and discover new places to visit. There are several cities nation-wide that plan a "Be a Tourist In Your Own Town" day that opens all the museums for free and provides $0.50 all-day bus rides. Grand Rapids, MI has the newly established Art Prize with free-to-low-cost transportation. If you know of other fun and free entertainment venues, please share!
When you were a kid, did you ever play in the sprinkler? How many kids still do that? Mine do. It's cheap, fun and takes the pinch off the summer heat. Make your own popsicles. Find a local pool or park that offers swimming and a playground. Pitch a tent in the backyard, or (gasp!) make a tent out of blankets. Go to the library and find a good book, a book on tape, or a movie to rent for free. Dig out board games like: Sorry, Life, Trouble, or a deck of cards and play. Tell stories about your childhood (believe me, your kids will love it!). Find the simple and put it into play. It's the best way to enjoy the summer and find time to bond with your family.
Married? The rage right now is to date your spouse to keep the relationship healthy. This is tough for us as we would need to hire a sitter and then pay for dinner and a movie. The idea of dropping a $100 to spend time with my husband doesn't feel right considering our economic state. So how can I have my cake and eat it too? We plan our dates after the kids bedtime. I will take the kids to the park and have fun with them, wearing them out a little more than usual so they will go to bed early. Their dinner and bed time comes an hour earlier on our date nights. Then, using a movie I've rented from the library ($1.00) and dinner (which was planned and paid for on the shopping day) my husband and I have dinner and movie night.
Will My Plan Work for You?
The plan my husband and I use works well for us, but we didn't just sit down and create the perfect plan. This has taken our entire marriage to come to this place and it will change when his income changes (for better or worse). From openly discussing our budget and living within our means, we no longer worry about what we don't have and enjoy all the blessings God has given us - and that can work for everyone. The key to any successful budget plan is to start with what you have, work with what you earn, and forget the rest. Find the joy of finding a good deal, the satisfaction of doing with less, and the relief of saving money to pay off debt or get ahead. How well your plan works for you is all up to you.
A few weeks ago, we had dinner with friends and they congratulated us on living so nicely on almost no money. I have never thought of my family having nothing. I suppose we are quite simple in our living compared to some, but I know that what we have gained in this life-style are wonderful children, a strong marriage and a blessed understanding of knowing that God is taking care of us because we are putting Him first in our lives.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Out with the Old
Spring fever is finally raising temperatures, and in my old age I'm finally wising up to the idea of doing the indoor spring cleaning well before the sun shines through the April showers and beckons me outside. The part of our house that needs the most attention is the basement. Like the junk drawer in the kitchen, the basement has become the catch-all for everything that doesn't have a permanent home, for things I only need seasonally, and for items that hold a some sentimental value. As I'm cleaning out the basement, I'm realizing that I have been hanging onto things that might have a use in the future. Having seen clips on TV about hoarders, I'm feeling a little grimy because I have that tendency. My house is not awash with clutter, but the basement, if I leave it untouched and continue my basement-stash-routine, will be.
At first glance, the basement is too messy to know where to begin. Years ago, a wise woman (Hi, mom!)told me that if it takes 12 months to make the mess, it will take 12 days to clean it up. Here's hoping! I've put on my planner that my daughters and I will spend an hour a day in the basement until it's finished. If we can meet that goal, we are going out to dinner!
I prepared myself for the daily chore of cleaning. What I realized that I wasn't prepared for was the emotional toll the 'trash' part would have on me. I'm going through the boxes, sorting the old clothes, throwing out the trash, taking pictures of old art projects that are too big to keep and selling the good stuff on ebay. But the emotional part comes at me unexpectedly when a favorite outfit from the girls toddler days is unearthed, when all the Mother's Day crafts are rediscovered, and when random wedding pictures surface in the strangest of places (I found a picture of my sister and I on my wedding day in a box filled will stuffed animals.)
What to do with all the treasures? My youngest daughter was upset when I suggested that we throw out the shoebox guitar she made. My middle daughter was overly exuberant in the tossing out of torn costumes that marked long summer days of tea parties and fairy tales. I realized that I have put too much importance in things. That's why I write and take so many pictures. I'm trying to capture the moment because I don't want to forget the memory.
There is also a part of me that wants to hang on to everything in case someone else needs it. Lord knows I like to be helpful. So there is also a box (ok, seven boxes) of clothing, toys, books, lamps, sheets, blankets, and dishes that I will hang onto for someone else. I've also put the year 2015 on those boxes. If I haven't given them away from January of 2015, I will take the boxes to Volunteers of America.
The clutter of keeping too many things not only makes my basement messy, it clutters my heart. Purging is never a pleasant experience, but it is certainly necessary. And so I'm saying farewell to that which is now too old, too tattered and too silly to keep and hoping that in the time I'm spending with my children on this cleaning project, they don't find me too tattered and worn and toss me out too!
At first glance, the basement is too messy to know where to begin. Years ago, a wise woman (Hi, mom!)told me that if it takes 12 months to make the mess, it will take 12 days to clean it up. Here's hoping! I've put on my planner that my daughters and I will spend an hour a day in the basement until it's finished. If we can meet that goal, we are going out to dinner!
I prepared myself for the daily chore of cleaning. What I realized that I wasn't prepared for was the emotional toll the 'trash' part would have on me. I'm going through the boxes, sorting the old clothes, throwing out the trash, taking pictures of old art projects that are too big to keep and selling the good stuff on ebay. But the emotional part comes at me unexpectedly when a favorite outfit from the girls toddler days is unearthed, when all the Mother's Day crafts are rediscovered, and when random wedding pictures surface in the strangest of places (I found a picture of my sister and I on my wedding day in a box filled will stuffed animals.)
What to do with all the treasures? My youngest daughter was upset when I suggested that we throw out the shoebox guitar she made. My middle daughter was overly exuberant in the tossing out of torn costumes that marked long summer days of tea parties and fairy tales. I realized that I have put too much importance in things. That's why I write and take so many pictures. I'm trying to capture the moment because I don't want to forget the memory.
There is also a part of me that wants to hang on to everything in case someone else needs it. Lord knows I like to be helpful. So there is also a box (ok, seven boxes) of clothing, toys, books, lamps, sheets, blankets, and dishes that I will hang onto for someone else. I've also put the year 2015 on those boxes. If I haven't given them away from January of 2015, I will take the boxes to Volunteers of America.
The clutter of keeping too many things not only makes my basement messy, it clutters my heart. Purging is never a pleasant experience, but it is certainly necessary. And so I'm saying farewell to that which is now too old, too tattered and too silly to keep and hoping that in the time I'm spending with my children on this cleaning project, they don't find me too tattered and worn and toss me out too!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
It's That Time of Year Again...
This is an exciting time of year for me. Yes, it's spring and the garden is calling me to till and plant and track mud through the house. It's almost Easter Sunday when I stuff baskets with treats for my children and watch them hunt through the yard (or inside if the weather is lousy). I love the warmer weather and the promise of a summer of camping and playgrounds. But what I really enjoy is choosing our curriculum and books for next year. As a former school teacher, I was never able to do this because the curriculum was chosen for me. But now? Oh, the possibilities are endless!
And those endless possibilities open up worlds of research as to what curriculum is best for my family. It's like buying a new appliance for the house - you do research, you study the comments on the website, you ask friends and people what they recommend. And after all that, you combine everything you've learned with what you know about your family and lifestyle, and you make a decision. Homeschooling curriculum are no different.
First, look at your family. Do you have several children at various levels? Or are you homeschooling one child? How is your day organized? Do you have time to sit down and teach math everyday, or should you invest in the CD-ROM or DVD programs for math? If Reading and writing are your strongest subjects, you can purchase the lesser expensive programs and supplement with what you know and love. If your child struggles in Science, or you struggle to remember to teach science, spend a little more on a program that does most of the work for you.
Secondly, consider purchasing all your curriculum from one place. That may sound obvious, but for the first few years I homeschooled, I used a variety of resources from no less than six different companies/organizations. I did this because I was given a kindergarten and first grade Sonlight curriculum, which was rich is reading, writing, grammar and bible studies, but didn't include (in that particular folder) science, math. I used Miquon for math (great format, but be prepared to be flexible as the directions are always clear and the Annotations book isn't always helpful). I was introduced to the Apologia Science books and love them! They are written for Christian homeschoolers and there is virtually no preparation necessary - just open and learn right along with your children.
Now that my daughters are older, I was interested in a specific accredited curriculum with Internet support and high school diplomas. I chose Seton Homestudy. It's a Catholic curriculum and meets all my needs. The website is easy to use and my girls can ask questions online, send in work to be graded and even check their lesson plans on line for what to do each day.
There are dozens of wonderful hoomeschooling curriculums out there - My Father's World and Sonlight are just two that I'm somewhat familiar with, but the list goes on. Just step into a homeschool conference to see all that available - that is a great place to start.
And third, I have a recommendation. If you do choose a homeschool curriculum that sends you all the lesson plans and books, that's great! It's worth a little extra money to have all that planned out. It's important to remember to break away from that day-to-day schedule every now and then. I don't mean taking a fall, winter, and spring break, but dropping the normal schedule for a day or two and doing something fun and educational. Tour three museums. There are art museums, children's museums, science museums, public museums, historical museums and so on. Ask a local business for a tour. Take all your school work to the library and work in a different setting (it's amazing how fun this is - it's so simple!). Watch a different educational DVD each afternoon for a week. Go see a play. Go camping at a State Park that has interpreter programs. Each day for a week, explore a different park and make a display of what each park offers. Look into the caching or letterboxing programs online (using GPS to find hidden boxes). Join a homeschooling group and benefit from the variety of opportunities available. Host a week-long Vacation Bible School at your house for the neighbor kids if there isn't something available in your neighborhood (great for those who live in the country).
See, so many possibilities, so little time, so little money required!
I'm off again to peruse the new Seton Homestudy catalogue and plan out 2011-2012 for four weeklong educational explorations.
Happy Learning!
And those endless possibilities open up worlds of research as to what curriculum is best for my family. It's like buying a new appliance for the house - you do research, you study the comments on the website, you ask friends and people what they recommend. And after all that, you combine everything you've learned with what you know about your family and lifestyle, and you make a decision. Homeschooling curriculum are no different.
First, look at your family. Do you have several children at various levels? Or are you homeschooling one child? How is your day organized? Do you have time to sit down and teach math everyday, or should you invest in the CD-ROM or DVD programs for math? If Reading and writing are your strongest subjects, you can purchase the lesser expensive programs and supplement with what you know and love. If your child struggles in Science, or you struggle to remember to teach science, spend a little more on a program that does most of the work for you.
Secondly, consider purchasing all your curriculum from one place. That may sound obvious, but for the first few years I homeschooled, I used a variety of resources from no less than six different companies/organizations. I did this because I was given a kindergarten and first grade Sonlight curriculum, which was rich is reading, writing, grammar and bible studies, but didn't include (in that particular folder) science, math. I used Miquon for math (great format, but be prepared to be flexible as the directions are always clear and the Annotations book isn't always helpful). I was introduced to the Apologia Science books and love them! They are written for Christian homeschoolers and there is virtually no preparation necessary - just open and learn right along with your children.
Now that my daughters are older, I was interested in a specific accredited curriculum with Internet support and high school diplomas. I chose Seton Homestudy. It's a Catholic curriculum and meets all my needs. The website is easy to use and my girls can ask questions online, send in work to be graded and even check their lesson plans on line for what to do each day.
There are dozens of wonderful hoomeschooling curriculums out there - My Father's World and Sonlight are just two that I'm somewhat familiar with, but the list goes on. Just step into a homeschool conference to see all that available - that is a great place to start.
And third, I have a recommendation. If you do choose a homeschool curriculum that sends you all the lesson plans and books, that's great! It's worth a little extra money to have all that planned out. It's important to remember to break away from that day-to-day schedule every now and then. I don't mean taking a fall, winter, and spring break, but dropping the normal schedule for a day or two and doing something fun and educational. Tour three museums. There are art museums, children's museums, science museums, public museums, historical museums and so on. Ask a local business for a tour. Take all your school work to the library and work in a different setting (it's amazing how fun this is - it's so simple!). Watch a different educational DVD each afternoon for a week. Go see a play. Go camping at a State Park that has interpreter programs. Each day for a week, explore a different park and make a display of what each park offers. Look into the caching or letterboxing programs online (using GPS to find hidden boxes). Join a homeschooling group and benefit from the variety of opportunities available. Host a week-long Vacation Bible School at your house for the neighbor kids if there isn't something available in your neighborhood (great for those who live in the country).
See, so many possibilities, so little time, so little money required!
I'm off again to peruse the new Seton Homestudy catalogue and plan out 2011-2012 for four weeklong educational explorations.
Happy Learning!
Monday, April 18, 2011
There are No Words
This month, my adopted son was officially adopted into our family. We drove to the city where he was born, went to court and watched the judge sign the papers. We were also given an opportunity to say a few words, but how can I describe these feelings without tears stopping my voice? How do I put the right word on what we have gone through in this adoption process?
There were fears as we thought about people coming to our home for the home study, grace when we knew that adoption was God's plan for us, shaking hands as we made that first phone call to the adoption agency, disbelief at the amount of paperwork, excitement with every email we received when birthmoms were looking for families, immense sadness when we weren't chosen, doubt as our wait stretched over two years, and head-spinning joy when we were selected and placed with a child within a week.
Then a whole new level of emotions emerged compounded with sleepless nights, which makes everything feel magnified: doubt in myself for adopting, frustrations with the birthmom, grieving over the freedoms I've lost, that warm feeling when the baby pees on you, cuddly softness and happiness from baby giggles, the pinch in the pocketbook from diapers and formula and that grip in the heart when I see my older children loving their new brother.
So...what is the word for that? The search for that word has been so great that I haven't been writing as much (as you can see from the last posting date) because I have felt too raw to say much of anything. Who am I to be chosen to parent these beautiful children? Why had God blessed me so after all the terrible things I have done? (Humble pie, served daily)
My husband didn't want that moment in the court room (when we were offered time to say what we felt) to go by without anything being said. "This has been... just wonderful." And then the tears came flooding from every eye in that courtroom. His words were not profound in literary beauty, but they do perfectly summarize the ups and downs we've ridden on the adoption roller coaster. Wonderful!
There were fears as we thought about people coming to our home for the home study, grace when we knew that adoption was God's plan for us, shaking hands as we made that first phone call to the adoption agency, disbelief at the amount of paperwork, excitement with every email we received when birthmoms were looking for families, immense sadness when we weren't chosen, doubt as our wait stretched over two years, and head-spinning joy when we were selected and placed with a child within a week.
Then a whole new level of emotions emerged compounded with sleepless nights, which makes everything feel magnified: doubt in myself for adopting, frustrations with the birthmom, grieving over the freedoms I've lost, that warm feeling when the baby pees on you, cuddly softness and happiness from baby giggles, the pinch in the pocketbook from diapers and formula and that grip in the heart when I see my older children loving their new brother.
So...what is the word for that? The search for that word has been so great that I haven't been writing as much (as you can see from the last posting date) because I have felt too raw to say much of anything. Who am I to be chosen to parent these beautiful children? Why had God blessed me so after all the terrible things I have done? (Humble pie, served daily)
My husband didn't want that moment in the court room (when we were offered time to say what we felt) to go by without anything being said. "This has been... just wonderful." And then the tears came flooding from every eye in that courtroom. His words were not profound in literary beauty, but they do perfectly summarize the ups and downs we've ridden on the adoption roller coaster. Wonderful!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Tomorrow is a big day for my family. We are driving to the next city over and going to court to make the adoption of our youngest son official. I have written about this adoption process extensively and will post more as I polish those reflections, but it has been a much greater experience than I expected. I knew that there would be moments of difficulty and days of intense joy. I was not disappointed. I was surprised by the intensity of the emotions associated with adopting a child.
As a means to work through the difficulties I experienced, I kept a prayer journal. I wrote to God asking for the strength I needed to figure out this new baby and work being a mom to an infant and also caring for pre-teen daughters. I prayed to Jesus to give me a kind heart like his in working with the birth-mother as she mourned her loss. I prayed to the Holy Spirit for the gifts of patience and wisdom. I prayed to Mary, the mother of our Lord to be like her: gentle, kind and loving. As I have matured in my attitude about adoption and our specific situation, I have found a strength and peace that could only come from God.
I never knew that I would walk the adoption route. I never knew that my son, whom I love immensely, would look so different than me. I never knew that I wouldn't care what he looked like. I've discovered a different side of my emotions and feeling them fully: someday I'm one, big raw emotion, other days I'm ready to take on the world.
I don't know what tomorrow's court day will be like. What I do know is that God led my husband and I to adopt and He has been with us every step of the way. I know that I love this little boy with more love than my heart can hold. I know this baby will be my son always. I thank God for leading me down this path, for without Him and without my son, I would not have grown in faith as I have.
As a means to work through the difficulties I experienced, I kept a prayer journal. I wrote to God asking for the strength I needed to figure out this new baby and work being a mom to an infant and also caring for pre-teen daughters. I prayed to Jesus to give me a kind heart like his in working with the birth-mother as she mourned her loss. I prayed to the Holy Spirit for the gifts of patience and wisdom. I prayed to Mary, the mother of our Lord to be like her: gentle, kind and loving. As I have matured in my attitude about adoption and our specific situation, I have found a strength and peace that could only come from God.
I never knew that I would walk the adoption route. I never knew that my son, whom I love immensely, would look so different than me. I never knew that I wouldn't care what he looked like. I've discovered a different side of my emotions and feeling them fully: someday I'm one, big raw emotion, other days I'm ready to take on the world.
I don't know what tomorrow's court day will be like. What I do know is that God led my husband and I to adopt and He has been with us every step of the way. I know that I love this little boy with more love than my heart can hold. I know this baby will be my son always. I thank God for leading me down this path, for without Him and without my son, I would not have grown in faith as I have.
Friday, April 1, 2011
An Adoption Tale
Next week my adopted son will officially by my son. After nine months of caring for him, learning to love him, opening my house to four different case-workers, filling out miles of paperwork and sleepless nights with an infant, he will be my son for always.
I will be honest: this adoption experience was nothing what I expected. I really believed that I was the type of person that would love any child in my care. I'm not. I struggled endlessly the first six months that he was home with us. I truly believed that no matter what issues the birth mother brought to this relationship, I could prayerfully muscle through. I couldn't. I also was surprised to discover how much I missed having a baby in the house, and how quickly those little fits of laughter chase away all the sleepiness. Much of the issues I dealt with stemmed from the fact that within a week of being chosen by a birth mother, we brought him home. His birth mother struggles with bi-polar disorder, a mental condition that has awakened me to a whole new level of frustration that constantly battle away at my patience and persistence.
For six months, I didn't feel connected to this baby who would soon become my son. I stuffed those feelings deep down so no one would know; I was embarrassed to admit that I was struggling to love a baby - who does that? Babies are adorable, cuddly, soft little lives that depend completely on their parents. Who wouldn't love a baby? I loved him for the fact that he was with our family. I trusted other moms who told me that the bonding takes time. But what they didn't tell me was that it is perfectly normal to not feel that love right away.
My case worker suggested the book Post Adoption Blues by Karen J Foli, Ph.D. and John R. Thompson, M.D. If you are considering adoption, waiting for that child to come home, or like me, struggling with bonding I highly recommend this book. It saved me from a case of depression that I felt surfacing. I also admitted to a dear friend, a mother of three adopted children, what I was feeling.
Long story short, I prayed. I prayed until I was certain God was tired of me yapping on about the same thing. And one morning I woke up to the sounds of my son cooing in the crib and I just cried tears of joy. Something in my heart had changed overnight and I loved that baby without reserve. I knew that God had taken away my fears and replaced that gap in my heart with more love than I could manage - and then He gave me more. That probably sounds like a very neatly wrapped package and a happy ending, but it was anything but neat and I'm not even close to the end of this story. Every day brings a new challenge and a new discovery. What isn't new is my God. He remains true and strong and He is cradling me in His arms while I cradle my son in mine.
I will be honest: this adoption experience was nothing what I expected. I really believed that I was the type of person that would love any child in my care. I'm not. I struggled endlessly the first six months that he was home with us. I truly believed that no matter what issues the birth mother brought to this relationship, I could prayerfully muscle through. I couldn't. I also was surprised to discover how much I missed having a baby in the house, and how quickly those little fits of laughter chase away all the sleepiness. Much of the issues I dealt with stemmed from the fact that within a week of being chosen by a birth mother, we brought him home. His birth mother struggles with bi-polar disorder, a mental condition that has awakened me to a whole new level of frustration that constantly battle away at my patience and persistence.
For six months, I didn't feel connected to this baby who would soon become my son. I stuffed those feelings deep down so no one would know; I was embarrassed to admit that I was struggling to love a baby - who does that? Babies are adorable, cuddly, soft little lives that depend completely on their parents. Who wouldn't love a baby? I loved him for the fact that he was with our family. I trusted other moms who told me that the bonding takes time. But what they didn't tell me was that it is perfectly normal to not feel that love right away.
My case worker suggested the book Post Adoption Blues by Karen J Foli, Ph.D. and John R. Thompson, M.D. If you are considering adoption, waiting for that child to come home, or like me, struggling with bonding I highly recommend this book. It saved me from a case of depression that I felt surfacing. I also admitted to a dear friend, a mother of three adopted children, what I was feeling.
Long story short, I prayed. I prayed until I was certain God was tired of me yapping on about the same thing. And one morning I woke up to the sounds of my son cooing in the crib and I just cried tears of joy. Something in my heart had changed overnight and I loved that baby without reserve. I knew that God had taken away my fears and replaced that gap in my heart with more love than I could manage - and then He gave me more. That probably sounds like a very neatly wrapped package and a happy ending, but it was anything but neat and I'm not even close to the end of this story. Every day brings a new challenge and a new discovery. What isn't new is my God. He remains true and strong and He is cradling me in His arms while I cradle my son in mine.
Little Days, Big Moments
The next month holds 4 big celebrations for my family: my youngest daughters First Reconciliation and First Communion and my son's court date to finalize his adoption and his baptism. Each of these events will be prayed over, rejoiced through a celebratory meal and documented with photographs.
I realized today that I'm doing the 'mom thing' by starting my lists- what to prepare for meals for each event, what everyone will wear and what I will need to purchase to make outfits complete for each of us, an invite list, and the never-ending clean-the-house list (although I had to pull out my pen and add the extra cleaning chores for when guests come for special events).
What I'm missing is the time to enjoy the moment (or moments). Two sacraments of initiation in the Catholic Church: Baptism and First Holy Communion, both which will be celebrated not just with sandwiches and cake, but with love and joy. I promise that I will not allow myself to become bogged down in the details of the day and the clothing, but overjoyed in the divine spirit of baptism and the holy gift of the Eucharist.
My children look to me as an example of what's important. My example will be to talk and pray with the children about the amazing gift of these sacraments, discus what they really mean and how they will affect us the next day and the next...all the way to the day we are called home to our Lord.
The adoption day holds many unknowns, but it is another act of God's will. He directed us here, he put my son in my arms when he was three days old, and God will take care of all the details. All I need to do is stay in tune with God through prayer and follow His plan for me.
I realized today that I'm doing the 'mom thing' by starting my lists- what to prepare for meals for each event, what everyone will wear and what I will need to purchase to make outfits complete for each of us, an invite list, and the never-ending clean-the-house list (although I had to pull out my pen and add the extra cleaning chores for when guests come for special events).
What I'm missing is the time to enjoy the moment (or moments). Two sacraments of initiation in the Catholic Church: Baptism and First Holy Communion, both which will be celebrated not just with sandwiches and cake, but with love and joy. I promise that I will not allow myself to become bogged down in the details of the day and the clothing, but overjoyed in the divine spirit of baptism and the holy gift of the Eucharist.
My children look to me as an example of what's important. My example will be to talk and pray with the children about the amazing gift of these sacraments, discus what they really mean and how they will affect us the next day and the next...all the way to the day we are called home to our Lord.
The adoption day holds many unknowns, but it is another act of God's will. He directed us here, he put my son in my arms when he was three days old, and God will take care of all the details. All I need to do is stay in tune with God through prayer and follow His plan for me.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Undercurrents of Negativity
Over the last few days, I’ve read emails, facebook updates and have had actual face-to-face encounters with several women whom I haven’t been in touch with through the long winter months. I greeted them with the standard but heartfelt, “How are you?” and was sucked out to sea without a paddle by the strength of their negative undercurrent.
What are we supposed to do when someone asks us how we are and we feel like the Grim Reaper is right around the corner? Should we lie? No. It’s a commandment to not lie (and there are so few times that it is appropriate to lie, that I won’t even breach that topic). I believe the answer lies in an honest examination of our lives and how we are responding.
Years ago, a popular motivational poster reflected on the 10/90 principle: that 10% of our life is completely out of our control, but the other 90% is how we choose to react to that 10% event. It is, essentially, another take on the “is the glass half-full or half-empty” idea. Ask yourself these questions: When I’m late for an appointment, do I yell and people who slow me down? When I hear of a tragedy, do I pray for the victims or do I blame God for letting us down? When I’m struggling with frustration, finances, parenting, or my spouse, do I reflect on what everyone else is doing wrong, or do I examine my own responses?
If we are thirsty, a glass which is half-full will not be enough to satisfy us. The trick is to maintain a state of satisfaction. Here’s another question: What keeps your cup full? Time with family without stress? Time alone to read or write? Vacations? Daily prayer? That warm fuzzy feeling gained through positive experiences in a Christian community?
What empties your cup? Know what it is about your day, your work, or your family that is frustrating and try to respond to those situations differently. I almost wrote that we should avoid situations that drain our figurative cups, but I don’t believe that is the answer. God gives us challenges as much as He gives us blessings and we are to become better followers from both. We can’t change the fact that negativity will come to us, but we can stop our own pessimism from controlling us.
There is a woman at my church who responded to my “how are you?” with “Unbelievable!” I wasn’t sure if she meant unbelievably great or unbelievably terrible, so I asked. She laughed and told me it was terrible: her father was ill, her mother was in the throes of Alzheimer’s, her son was graduating from high school and she was struggling to do all the things a mom must do for those she loved. Her life was filled with challenges, and yet she was smiling it all off as a lesson to learn.
I hope that the next time someone asks me how I am, I am a conduit of optimism. I also pray for the fortitude to protect my own spirit the next time someone unloads their issues on my greeting. Perhaps I will take that person by the hands and pray for them right then and there.
What are we supposed to do when someone asks us how we are and we feel like the Grim Reaper is right around the corner? Should we lie? No. It’s a commandment to not lie (and there are so few times that it is appropriate to lie, that I won’t even breach that topic). I believe the answer lies in an honest examination of our lives and how we are responding.
Years ago, a popular motivational poster reflected on the 10/90 principle: that 10% of our life is completely out of our control, but the other 90% is how we choose to react to that 10% event. It is, essentially, another take on the “is the glass half-full or half-empty” idea. Ask yourself these questions: When I’m late for an appointment, do I yell and people who slow me down? When I hear of a tragedy, do I pray for the victims or do I blame God for letting us down? When I’m struggling with frustration, finances, parenting, or my spouse, do I reflect on what everyone else is doing wrong, or do I examine my own responses?
If we are thirsty, a glass which is half-full will not be enough to satisfy us. The trick is to maintain a state of satisfaction. Here’s another question: What keeps your cup full? Time with family without stress? Time alone to read or write? Vacations? Daily prayer? That warm fuzzy feeling gained through positive experiences in a Christian community?
What empties your cup? Know what it is about your day, your work, or your family that is frustrating and try to respond to those situations differently. I almost wrote that we should avoid situations that drain our figurative cups, but I don’t believe that is the answer. God gives us challenges as much as He gives us blessings and we are to become better followers from both. We can’t change the fact that negativity will come to us, but we can stop our own pessimism from controlling us.
There is a woman at my church who responded to my “how are you?” with “Unbelievable!” I wasn’t sure if she meant unbelievably great or unbelievably terrible, so I asked. She laughed and told me it was terrible: her father was ill, her mother was in the throes of Alzheimer’s, her son was graduating from high school and she was struggling to do all the things a mom must do for those she loved. Her life was filled with challenges, and yet she was smiling it all off as a lesson to learn.
I hope that the next time someone asks me how I am, I am a conduit of optimism. I also pray for the fortitude to protect my own spirit the next time someone unloads their issues on my greeting. Perhaps I will take that person by the hands and pray for them right then and there.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Reaching Blindly
In my kitchen, I keep a large bowl of fruit on the counter to make the never-ending task of keeping my children satisfied easier. Not too long ago, before all of my daughters could see over the counter top in the kitchen, it was common that they would stretch out on their tip-toes, extend their arm over the rim on the big fruit bowl and reach for whatever was within reach. My oldest daughter prefers apples, middle girl is an orange fiend, and youngest daughter goes for bananas or nothing. Very often, the fruit bowl raids ended with the bowl tipped over and the fruit rolling across the floor; which is why we now have a plastic fruit bowl.
The girls knew that their reach into the bowl would yield some type of fruit, but they continued to dig until the right fruit was found. The same was true for me years ago when I was reaching for something to fill that empty feeling in my soul. I was fortunate enough in college to meet a group of very dedicated Christians who displayed a raw sense of happiness that was foreign to me. They delighted in companionship, read scripture, and never, ever missed a Sunday service (a new concept for me, who would try to sleep until noon to not have to go to mass). Seeing their gratification from God and how rich these people were in my life, I knew I wanted what they had. In other words, I had been brought to God’s kitchen and shown the fruit bowl, but was too small to see what was inside.
I started reaching blindly into the church experience, into the scriptures. I grabbed hold of some profound ideas and amazing situations, but they were short lived. I was rocky soil and the seed of God’s Word didn’t take hold. I realized I needed a step-stool to see into that bowl; the bowl being the multitude of Christian churches. Having been raised Catholic, I wanted to sample other denominations. I attended a Baptist church for a time, then a Lutheran. I enjoyed the sermons of a Methodist pastor in Lowell, MI, but felt completely lost in the mega-church – the one with the live band and the balcony.
My young adulthood was spent exploring the worlds of believers of Christ and witnessing for myself the variety of ways in which one can worship the same God, Son and Holy Spirit. All had their good points, but I realized that none, save one, was complete. I desired a church that had its roots in Jesus Himself, that celebrated the accomplishment of the faith walk with sacraments and feed the congregation with more than the Word of God, but with the flesh and blood of God. I came home to the Catholic Church. I had seen over the rim of the bowl of Christian churches, and chose the Catholic Fruits of the Holy Spirit.
I will not argue that every Christian church feeds the people. I met amazing people in my faith walk and I accredit them all with helping me make my decision. Sure, I didn't choose their church, but their church did help bring me closer to God - the same God I still worship. And that’s the point: we all, as Christians, do love the same God. For we are all brothers and sisters in Christ and it’s time to stop the sibling rivalry. Our Father in heaven loves us all.
The girls knew that their reach into the bowl would yield some type of fruit, but they continued to dig until the right fruit was found. The same was true for me years ago when I was reaching for something to fill that empty feeling in my soul. I was fortunate enough in college to meet a group of very dedicated Christians who displayed a raw sense of happiness that was foreign to me. They delighted in companionship, read scripture, and never, ever missed a Sunday service (a new concept for me, who would try to sleep until noon to not have to go to mass). Seeing their gratification from God and how rich these people were in my life, I knew I wanted what they had. In other words, I had been brought to God’s kitchen and shown the fruit bowl, but was too small to see what was inside.
I started reaching blindly into the church experience, into the scriptures. I grabbed hold of some profound ideas and amazing situations, but they were short lived. I was rocky soil and the seed of God’s Word didn’t take hold. I realized I needed a step-stool to see into that bowl; the bowl being the multitude of Christian churches. Having been raised Catholic, I wanted to sample other denominations. I attended a Baptist church for a time, then a Lutheran. I enjoyed the sermons of a Methodist pastor in Lowell, MI, but felt completely lost in the mega-church – the one with the live band and the balcony.
My young adulthood was spent exploring the worlds of believers of Christ and witnessing for myself the variety of ways in which one can worship the same God, Son and Holy Spirit. All had their good points, but I realized that none, save one, was complete. I desired a church that had its roots in Jesus Himself, that celebrated the accomplishment of the faith walk with sacraments and feed the congregation with more than the Word of God, but with the flesh and blood of God. I came home to the Catholic Church. I had seen over the rim of the bowl of Christian churches, and chose the Catholic Fruits of the Holy Spirit.
I will not argue that every Christian church feeds the people. I met amazing people in my faith walk and I accredit them all with helping me make my decision. Sure, I didn't choose their church, but their church did help bring me closer to God - the same God I still worship. And that’s the point: we all, as Christians, do love the same God. For we are all brothers and sisters in Christ and it’s time to stop the sibling rivalry. Our Father in heaven loves us all.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Ditching the Zip to Have More Pep in My Step
I tried something new last week – writing in a notebook instead of on the computer. I’m sure that sounds funny to some, but with my 100 words a minute on the computer, I can crank out quite a bit in very little time. But as part of my Lenten prayer, I’m trying to slow down. Counter-cultural, for sure!
It’s come to my attention that I’m moving too quickly, rushing from this task to that errand and back home again, fussing when the house isn’t clean and wasting time doing things that really aren’t that important but seem necessary as I’m driving through life at 70 mph. The problem came down to where to begin slowing down? Writing seemed the best choice. I wondered if my writing would change if I actually wrote instead of typed. In preparation for this, I purchased a fancy new notebook and a Dr. Grip pen.
Here’s what I discovered:
- I actually had to spell the words correctly – there is no auto-correct in my pen.
- My mind works 100 times fast than my pen.
- My sentences are longer and more complex when I write by hand.
- The pages of my notebook are not written line after line. There are boxes, lines connecting thoughts that weren’t written sequentially. Overall, the page is organized more like my brain– kinda messy but interesting.
- I liked it.
Slowing myself down, taking the time to form each letter, then each word in an effort to create beautiful sentences was extremely enjoyable. My written word count is down by about 80% but I believe the quality of my writing increased exponentially. I did have an incredible ache in my hand after the first day, but that seemed a minor risk so I soldiered forth.
I feel the need to take this concept to other areas of my life. I will take more time to enjoy the moments between the words – the words I speak, the words I hear and the words I write. Throughout my days I have opportunities to have a real impact on another life. Why waste those moments on looking to the next thing? Why zip through the week reaching desperately for Friday when Tuesday is full of beauty?
It’s come to my attention that I’m moving too quickly, rushing from this task to that errand and back home again, fussing when the house isn’t clean and wasting time doing things that really aren’t that important but seem necessary as I’m driving through life at 70 mph. The problem came down to where to begin slowing down? Writing seemed the best choice. I wondered if my writing would change if I actually wrote instead of typed. In preparation for this, I purchased a fancy new notebook and a Dr. Grip pen.
Here’s what I discovered:
- I actually had to spell the words correctly – there is no auto-correct in my pen.
- My mind works 100 times fast than my pen.
- My sentences are longer and more complex when I write by hand.
- The pages of my notebook are not written line after line. There are boxes, lines connecting thoughts that weren’t written sequentially. Overall, the page is organized more like my brain– kinda messy but interesting.
- I liked it.
Slowing myself down, taking the time to form each letter, then each word in an effort to create beautiful sentences was extremely enjoyable. My written word count is down by about 80% but I believe the quality of my writing increased exponentially. I did have an incredible ache in my hand after the first day, but that seemed a minor risk so I soldiered forth.
I feel the need to take this concept to other areas of my life. I will take more time to enjoy the moments between the words – the words I speak, the words I hear and the words I write. Throughout my days I have opportunities to have a real impact on another life. Why waste those moments on looking to the next thing? Why zip through the week reaching desperately for Friday when Tuesday is full of beauty?
Friday, March 18, 2011
The Third Degree
It happens all the time. I'm out shopping with my kids before lunch and they are the only children in the grocery store over the age of four. Someone, whether the butcher, the cashier or some lovely old lady will always ask, "So is there no school today?" I'm always polite and say, "Yes, we have school. We homeschool." I've been fortunate enough to never experience any extreme negativity about our choice to homeschool, but I do undergo a series of questions to determine if I am worthy.
- So what kinds of things do you do when you homeschool?
- Are you involved in any of the homeschool groups?
- Do your children like homeschooling?
- Aren't you tired at the end of the day?
- Do you worry about socialization?
While homeschooling is a popular choice these days with all the conferences, co-ops, curriculum and books, there are still those that worry about the qualifications of the parents. Looking at the history of public education, it has only been in the last one hundred years that public education became available to all. Prior to that, guess what? Parents taught their kids to read, to work math problems, and how to function within the home: including cooking, sewing and taking care of themselves. Prior to 1900, many children studied hard at home to be accepted into colleges. I guess you could say we are going back to our roots. We are focusing on our family, educating our children with the best materials we have, and preparing them for the real world, where God is first and foremost in our lives, where people respond with respect to each other, and creating an ideal that parents are truly the first teachers.
Am I qualified to teach my own children? I will teach them differently than another homeschooling mom or dad. My children will have a different childhood experience by being homeschooled. Despite my beliefs concerning the homeschooling experience, I’m still faced with those who question the concept and my abilties. My polite responses to these questions have served me well for seven years.
“So what kinds of things do you do when you homeschool?” I read with my children. We explore text books, library books, bookstores, and the internet for information that coincides with our curriculum. We pray together, eat together and laugh often. Our day is full of love and frustration, joy and trouble. Is all sunshine and kittens? Yes, including the sunburns and scratches. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Are you involved in any of the homeschool groups?” Not this year. I decided to take a year and put the ‘home’ back in homeschooling. And, no, I have no regrets about that.
“Do your children like homeschooling?” Do yours enjoy public or private schools? My children have always been homeschooled. It’s what they know and it’s what they love.
“Aren't you tired at the end of the day?” Uh-huh. If I wasn’t I would know I was lazy.
“Do you worry about socialization?” What about it? My children socialize with my husband and I; it’s true, we really do talk and listen to our children! They have friends and cousins to play with. They are involved at church. Socialization is a sorry attack to hold over homeschoolers with all the reports of bullies in schools and the pressures of fashion and technology, the haves and the have-nots. Those are not issues for my children. Does that mean that they don’t know about the real world? Sure does! And I plan on keeping it that way for as long as possible. There is a time and place for everything and ten years old is not the time to start worrying about being overweight or texting.
I applaud any parent who takes it upon themselves to truly be a teacher to their child; whether that means they are sitting side-by-side doing homework from school or actually teaching school at home, every good parent is invested to some degree in their child’s education.
- So what kinds of things do you do when you homeschool?
- Are you involved in any of the homeschool groups?
- Do your children like homeschooling?
- Aren't you tired at the end of the day?
- Do you worry about socialization?
While homeschooling is a popular choice these days with all the conferences, co-ops, curriculum and books, there are still those that worry about the qualifications of the parents. Looking at the history of public education, it has only been in the last one hundred years that public education became available to all. Prior to that, guess what? Parents taught their kids to read, to work math problems, and how to function within the home: including cooking, sewing and taking care of themselves. Prior to 1900, many children studied hard at home to be accepted into colleges. I guess you could say we are going back to our roots. We are focusing on our family, educating our children with the best materials we have, and preparing them for the real world, where God is first and foremost in our lives, where people respond with respect to each other, and creating an ideal that parents are truly the first teachers.
Am I qualified to teach my own children? I will teach them differently than another homeschooling mom or dad. My children will have a different childhood experience by being homeschooled. Despite my beliefs concerning the homeschooling experience, I’m still faced with those who question the concept and my abilties. My polite responses to these questions have served me well for seven years.
“So what kinds of things do you do when you homeschool?” I read with my children. We explore text books, library books, bookstores, and the internet for information that coincides with our curriculum. We pray together, eat together and laugh often. Our day is full of love and frustration, joy and trouble. Is all sunshine and kittens? Yes, including the sunburns and scratches. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Are you involved in any of the homeschool groups?” Not this year. I decided to take a year and put the ‘home’ back in homeschooling. And, no, I have no regrets about that.
“Do your children like homeschooling?” Do yours enjoy public or private schools? My children have always been homeschooled. It’s what they know and it’s what they love.
“Aren't you tired at the end of the day?” Uh-huh. If I wasn’t I would know I was lazy.
“Do you worry about socialization?” What about it? My children socialize with my husband and I; it’s true, we really do talk and listen to our children! They have friends and cousins to play with. They are involved at church. Socialization is a sorry attack to hold over homeschoolers with all the reports of bullies in schools and the pressures of fashion and technology, the haves and the have-nots. Those are not issues for my children. Does that mean that they don’t know about the real world? Sure does! And I plan on keeping it that way for as long as possible. There is a time and place for everything and ten years old is not the time to start worrying about being overweight or texting.
I applaud any parent who takes it upon themselves to truly be a teacher to their child; whether that means they are sitting side-by-side doing homework from school or actually teaching school at home, every good parent is invested to some degree in their child’s education.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Card Games
I was teaching my daughter how to play solitaire the other day (with real cards, not on my computer, such a drag to actually have to shuffle and deal the cards!) when she lost another game.
“Why didn’t I win?” she asked.
“Sometimes you just can’t win,” I answered.
“But I do when the cards are right.”
And that started me thinking: If life is a card game, are my cards stacked so we can win? If all my Aces are buried, I can’t start new stacks. Which brought another question to mind: What are my ‘Aces’? What are the things that I build upon? That part was easy to answer: Faith, Family, Writing and Health. My Ace of Hearts: I’ve learned quite recently that if my faith formation is my first priority everything else falls into place. Ace of Diamonds: when I’m happy and organized, so is my family. As a mother, I carry that ability to set the tone for everyone else. When things go wrong, it’s my reaction that can cure broken spirits or step on them further. Ace of Spades: Writing. Like a garden spade, I churn the earth words to cultivate beautiful imagery and intense plots. Ace of Clubs: health. Yes, I was thinking health “clubs”, but also everything I eat, think and do affects my health for better or for worse.
Once these Aces are laid out, the rest of the day follows suit (I couldn’t resist that pun!) As my daughter lamented in her solitaire game, sometimes the cards are just stacked wrong. There are days when these Aces are covered up by the Queen of Grocery Shopping on a slim budget, the Jack of Sick Kids, or the eight of ‘wear-is-my-other-shoe?’.
To win the game of solitaire, all the cards must be stacked on those Aces all the way up to the King. What does it mean to win at life? Is money the King? Marriage? Fame? Health? Having children? Possessions? How can we possibly win if we don’t know for sure who our King is? I’d like to say that I’m perfect and Jesus is always the King of my day. Sometimes he’s not, and when things start to slip out of my grasp, I am quickly reminded that I didn’t begin my day properly – on my knees in prayer! That’s the best way to re-stack the cards, to slip that King into the empty slot and begin a new stack.
Other times, I realized, the only way to win is to cheat. Perhaps the grocery shopping takes place with the baby still in his pajamas, or the sick kids are allowed to watch movies all day so I can still write a little and perhaps clean the kitchen. And that lost shoe? I still don’t have an answer for that.
“Why didn’t I win?” she asked.
“Sometimes you just can’t win,” I answered.
“But I do when the cards are right.”
And that started me thinking: If life is a card game, are my cards stacked so we can win? If all my Aces are buried, I can’t start new stacks. Which brought another question to mind: What are my ‘Aces’? What are the things that I build upon? That part was easy to answer: Faith, Family, Writing and Health. My Ace of Hearts: I’ve learned quite recently that if my faith formation is my first priority everything else falls into place. Ace of Diamonds: when I’m happy and organized, so is my family. As a mother, I carry that ability to set the tone for everyone else. When things go wrong, it’s my reaction that can cure broken spirits or step on them further. Ace of Spades: Writing. Like a garden spade, I churn the earth words to cultivate beautiful imagery and intense plots. Ace of Clubs: health. Yes, I was thinking health “clubs”, but also everything I eat, think and do affects my health for better or for worse.
Once these Aces are laid out, the rest of the day follows suit (I couldn’t resist that pun!) As my daughter lamented in her solitaire game, sometimes the cards are just stacked wrong. There are days when these Aces are covered up by the Queen of Grocery Shopping on a slim budget, the Jack of Sick Kids, or the eight of ‘wear-is-my-other-shoe?’.
To win the game of solitaire, all the cards must be stacked on those Aces all the way up to the King. What does it mean to win at life? Is money the King? Marriage? Fame? Health? Having children? Possessions? How can we possibly win if we don’t know for sure who our King is? I’d like to say that I’m perfect and Jesus is always the King of my day. Sometimes he’s not, and when things start to slip out of my grasp, I am quickly reminded that I didn’t begin my day properly – on my knees in prayer! That’s the best way to re-stack the cards, to slip that King into the empty slot and begin a new stack.
Other times, I realized, the only way to win is to cheat. Perhaps the grocery shopping takes place with the baby still in his pajamas, or the sick kids are allowed to watch movies all day so I can still write a little and perhaps clean the kitchen. And that lost shoe? I still don’t have an answer for that.
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