My view of motherhood is only 11.5 years old, consisting of: four children, one-income, a growing faith, homeschooling, and a constant feeling that I'm not doing enough to be a great mom.
Yep, that last line is really what guides me as a mom. I question what I do: Am I giving my children enough of my quality time? Am I giving my children enough time away from me? If I make nachos for dinner, am I neglecting their nutrition? Are my actions and words a positive influence on their minds? That is the question that creates the most turbulence: Is what I do really what I want my children to learn? Because I homeschool, they are with me every day, all day. Can I keep that positive attitude that I need to change one more dirty diaper while also teaching fractions to a child on the brink of tears of frustration?
It's my attitude that determines the success of the day. I don't like that kind of pressure, but I think most moms would agree to the truth of that statement.
So how can we, as moms, provide our family with safe, happy days that instill core family values?
Let's take a few lessons from the airlines.
1. If there is a sudden drop in cabin pressure, the oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling. Place your mask on first, then assist a child with his/her mask.
In reality, at times cabin pressure drops without our knowledge. We suddenly find ourselves gasping for breath without the convenience of life-giving oxygen. The best way for me to find time to breathe is to know what my 'oxygen' is. Personally, I find breathing easier when I have time to myself. Everyday, just as much as I need to sleep and eat, I need time alone. With this time I usually read or write, but sometimes all I really want to do is watch a movie without feeling guilty. To find this time, I've started waking up ridiculously early, enjoying the dark quiet of the house, a good book and a hot cup of coffee. When the morning slips by without that time, I stay up late and wrap up my day with a little glass of wine and some writing time. I don't feel sleepy. Just rejuvenated.
This time to myself allows me to better care for my family. When I've taken the time to do what I love to do, then I have more of myself to share with my children and husband.
2. When experiencing turbulence, buckle up.
Turbulence might be a fussy baby, a stubborn child, an argument with your husband, a failed date, a sick child, bad news from a friend - anything. The best safety belt is your faith. Strap it on and hold on. Find the time to pray, to read the Bible and let your children see you doing that so they will know they when life knocks you down, to fall to your knees and lift your voice to God.
3. All baggage must be stored in the overhead compartments.
Ah, baggage. The metaphor is so rich here. At the airports, they have that box that your carry-on luggage is dropped into to make sure it will fit in the storage compartments. How many bags to you carry? I don't mean literally. Go grab a piece of paper and a pen and write down everything you had to do today, all the things you wanted to do today, and then the things that you are worried about. On the back of that page, make a list of everything you are responsible for - mortgage or rent, bills, career, etc. Then make a list of everything you love. Go ahead, I'll wait.
Quite a list isn't it. That's baggage. As women, we carry that list around in our heads at all times. We worry. We manage. We direct. We fix. We stress. We love.
Beware! How many things on your list are just things? What would happen if you gave up half your list - not your responsibilities that keep your family safe and fed and sheltered, but the worries, the fluff, the to-do list? That's heavy baggage and will weigh down the plane.
Every day will have some bumps; some more than others. But a safe flight through parenting means we watch the weather (emotions) forecast and determine our destination carefully. We pack lightly and ask for a window seat so we can see the tops of the clouds and realize that even when we are tucked underneath a cloud-filled sky, somewhere just beyond the grey, there are peaks of clouds bathed in sun. When we are soaked from the rain that just doesn't seem to end, we can acknowledge that the entire world is not rainy and the warm, sunny weather will return. Soon.
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