Psalm 139
1 O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
If you have ever watched young children play, you've seen that they do so as if no one is watching. They are completely absorbed in their role-playing games. They mimic what they see from the adults around them, from television and movies they have seen, and from books.
My daughters are still young, but my oldest is nearing 10 years old. I've noticed recently that she still wants to play as freely as her younger sisters, but she stops her dancing or role-playing if I walk into the room. My presence prevents her from being herself, from acting like a child. She blushes and encourages me to leave and go back to what I was doing in the other room, as if playing with younger children is something to be ashamed. But for me, I want to see them acting like children, enjoying the unlimited boundaries of their imagination, reinacting stories and loving the fact that they have sisters who will always be a part of thier lives.
I imagine too, that God feels the same way about us. He knows what we are doing and thinking and feeling. He knew us in the womb and loved us even before we took our first breath. He must love watching us live; singing and dancing in the kitchen with our children, watching nature change with the seasons, spending time with friends. But the moment we think of Him, our behavior changes to one of reverence and restraint. I think that's sad. God created us and everything good that we enjoy comes from Him. I think God dances for joy when we are happy and follow His commandments. I have felt his presence peel back the covers under which I hide; I sense his understanding smile when He asks me, "Now what have you done that is so horrible that I wouldn't love you anymore?"
We would never abandon our children because they make mistakes, so why would God abandon us? Psalm 139 is that reminder. It celebrates the love God has for us, the knowledge He has for us, the way He searches our hearts and knows us beyond our own comprehension.
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