Last night our group posed the question, "Where are you in your relationship with Jesus? And what will you do before the Renewal Weekend to deepen that relationship?"
I'd never thought of it so clearly. My faith is a relationship with Jesus, but that seems so mystical. I've never met Jesus like I've met my friends. He doesn't physically sit next to me. I can't see him the way I see others around me. So why am I working so hard to build this relationship? Why do I crave His word?
The truth is, as soon as I opened my heart a little bit for Jesus, he pushed it all the way open and stepped in. And once I felt his presence, once I knew the strength of his forgiveness and love, I was hooked. For me, I accepted Jesus into my heart only recently. I knew of him before, I believed that he died for my sins, but that's as far as I went with it. Something happened between then and now to change the way I see him and perhaps the mystical aspect of my faith formation is me.
My relationship with Jesus has grown slowly. I'll admit that I tried really hard to not fall into this "Christian thing". I don't remember there being a magical moment or a great Ah-ha! revelation; it was simply going to church and listening to the scripture, hearing our priest match scripture to life. It was me taking the time to read the bible, to take that scary step and pray aloud in front of others. Jesus had a corner of my heart, and from there he put people in my life to show me the way, to share their story with me so that I might fully accept him. I began seeking out other Christians because I love seeing life through their eyes. Christians don't see pain and suffering as 'God has forgotten me' moments, but as obstacles leading us to God.
Where am I in my relationship with Jesus? When I realized that I wanted to fully walk with God in my faith, I was stunned by the simplicity of joy I felt. I assumed that when people accepted Christ into their hearts, it would be like Christmas - that big day of family and presents and food. Just one day of celebrating and then it's over and life come roaring back at you.
Boy, was I wrong! My devotion to Jesus is like spending an eternity in 'Christmas Day'. All the little gifts God provides are present each day. They may not come wrapped in red and green with a big gold bow on top, but they are just as wonderful. Accepting Jesus into my heart has made me happier, more calm, and peaceful. I feel more confident in myself because I have the strength of the Savior on my side. I know what is right and what is wrong and now I have the courage to do what is right. My relationship with Jesus is new and exciting and I'm thrilled that I can spend the rest of my life sharing His Good News with all those I meet. He may not sit next to me and drink a cup of coffee with me, but he is present in many other ways - ways that no one else can be.
Yes, I'm a Jesus freak and proud of it! Won't you join me?
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