Lessons from my Children

There have been many surprises in my life - misconceptions about what I thought my adult life would be compared to how I've actually turned out. I always thought I would marry a wealthy man, but I married a man I love instead. I thought I would be a wordly travler, taking my children to see England and Italy, and be a regular at some resort on a little island. Instead, I am a Michigan guard; we are never very far from home. There has been one aspect of my life that is a complete surprise and every time it happens, I'm astounded: I'm actually learning from my children.

I've taught them how to make their beds, to write thank you notes, to read and write. Some things they've just naturally learned on their own: how to walk, talk, love, smile, and listen.

While I'm sharing little tid bits of information with them (using nice words, making good use of their time, always flushing the toilet) they listen. And when I'm talking to someone else about weekend plans, or sharing concerns with my sister about a reoccuring cough, they listen. They've seen my reactions to bad news and how I smile when they do a job well. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, they know to stay out of my way and pick up their toys. During afternoons we each retreat to our own corners and have some quiet time to read, draw, or write. I praise them for these wonderful behaviors.

And they are starting to praise me.

Last week when the house broke out with a severe case of clutter-itis, I switched into my mad-hatter cleaning mode. On a dry-erase board I wrote down everything that needed to be done and put names next to each item. When we had each finished our assigned chores, we would celebrate with a visit to the playground.

The house was cleaned in record time, I didn't yell at anyone, and the girls actually sang songs while they cleaned. There were a few things out of place and the bathroom wasn't cleaned quite how I do it, but my second daughter spent time organizing the linen closet. On the way to the playground, my oldest daughter (who is now tall enough to sit in the front seat) patted my arm and gave me a wink. "This was a good idea, Mom. Everybody learned something today."

I was flustered. What had I learned? Why did my daughter know more than I?

"What did you learn?" I asked.

"I learned that I do best when I know exactly what you need me to do to help you."

Wow.

That means in the past I've expected my children to just read my mind and know what I needed done. (My husband has confirmed that this is true).

What did I learn that day? Communication is key - whether in the form of a to-do list, a smile, or a pat on the arm, we all need to know what is going on in the mind's of those we love. I also learned that working together as a family doesn't mean that everything is done according to my expectations, but that everyone has a role to play and feels a part of the team.

And I learned all that (again) from my daughter. That and playgrounds can be better than any trip to Europe.

Go team Schaub!

Novena to the Holy Spirit

Nine days until Pentecost. I encourage you to find the Novena to the Holy Spirit and join the Catholic world in praying this divine prayer.

Why?

The Holy Spirit is the third person of the trinity and the gift Jesus delivered to his Apostles after his ascension. The Holy Spirit is our earthly guide, our inspiration to follow God's plan and to accept Jesus' sacrifice toward salvation. The Holy Spirit brings us the gifts of Wisdom, Understanding, Counsel, Fortitude, Knowledge, Piety, and Fear of the Lord. In meditating on these gifts, in prayfully approaching the Holy Spirit and welcoming Him into our lives, we gain these graces and in turn begin (or continue) to live our lives in alighnment with God's Holy plan.

I pray for you today to open your heart in preparation for the celebration of Pentecost, the day our Lord sent us His Spirit to guide us home to Him.

Shame turns to Salvation

I was plagued with shame. Like flies on dung, shame hovered above and around me, flying in my face and ringing in my ears. It was the sound of demons whispering terrors, the feel of Hell's flames licking my heels, the darkness of eternal life away from God that chills my bones.

So many people don't understand what abortion means to those of us who chose it. It doesn't mean that we support it and it certainly doesn't mean that we are OK with our choice. It means we have committed a mortal sin and must now bear that scar on our hearts for the rest of our days.

Talk of the horrors of abortion are true - it's a horrible thing, a despicable choice, a criminal act - but the women who have had abortions are not those things. We were under the control of fear and shame. We were sold lies - untruths about what an embryo is, lies about the long-term effects, fiction about the sanctity of life. Because of fear, we sought a way out - just like everyone does in times of trouble. Unfortunately for us, we were missing Jesus in our lives and so Satan strode in, consoled us and sold us.

But he's done something else too - he's made me angry! Satan hid the truth in his darkness until it was too late. Satan has an enemy in me.

I wasn't sure at first if anyone - man or God - would still love me, could still love me. Then I met Peter, Jesus' closest disciple who denied even knowing Jesus not once, but three times. I met Mary Magdalene who was a sinner and yet was rescued by Jesus. I met Saul, whom after meeting the Resurrected Jesus, received much a transformation that everything about him changed - his heart, his vision, his mission and even his name. Saul the Persecuter became Paul the Saint and author of a good portion of the New Testament.The salvation that Jesus promised? That freedom from sin He purchased with His blood on the cross - He did that for me. Jesus knew I would sin. He knew fear would grip me so tightly I would crumble under the pressure. Even though He knew that I would spit in the face of Creation by not understanding what gift He had given me, He still went to the cross. He still loved me.

I am not alone in my sin. I'm not alone in my salvation either. Jesus purchased my soul for me. I have the reciept - it's the tug at my heart when I confess. It's the passion I feel when I'm at Mass and Fr. Mike breaks the bread. It's the deep understanding I have that those who believe in Jesus will not perish, but find everlasting life. (Jn. 3:16)

I know I have been forgiven. Jesus told me so. So I renounce you Shame! Go back to Hell and take Fear with you!