Ignoring Satan

There was a time in my past when I was afraid of people who had a strong faith. I feared they would have God’s ability to see through my skin and into my soul, witnessing my sin and judging me. Shame and grief over poor decisions and selfish choices kept me away from the one place I really needed – and wanted – to be. Church. In God’s home. In Jesus’ arms.

I remember a woman talking about how Satan had tried to keep her from doing what God wanted her to do. The specifics of her situation have faded from my memory, or maybe I stopped listening when she talked about Satan, but I remember looking at her differently. Was she joking? How could she possibly think that Satan would or could do anything to mess up her day? Didn’t she believe in God? Can you believe in God and Satan?

Oh, how little I knew.

I’m not sure exactly where my journey back to God began; maybe it was with that woman’s statement. Maybe it was my ex-boyfriend who was so critical of Catholics. I’m sure a part of it was my girlfriend who gave me a bible so I “would have it when I needed it”. There were many little things that happened in my young adulthood that both pulled me away and pushed me back to God. As I near 40, it’s motherhood and the choice to home school that have played important roles in my rebirth. It’s my husband’s passion for the Lord that inspires me. It’s that same girlfriend with the bible who is still my friend.

With this renewed faith, I’m stronger. Like a weight lifter or a marathon runner, my bible readings and studies are barbells and miles of road. I can feel my spiritual muscles aching after an intense bible study class. Through the little that I’ve gained in faith (I have a long way to go!) I been granted a clear vision of what is really going on in my life. Do you remember the book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, And It’s All Small Stuff? Small stuff can fill my mind with cotton balls until I can't think straight - you know, a head full of fluff.

Little things...Empty the dishwasher. Return phone calls. Prepare for a meeting. Wash the clothes. Make dinner. Teach the children. Check emails. Return gifts. Grocery shop. Clean up the spilled milk. Bathe the baby. Discipline the toddler. Take dinner to a friend. Go to church. Join a bible study. Lead a bible study. Go to a retreat. Scrapbook. Write. Read. Pray. Sweep the floor…

I’m strong enough in my faith to recognize that the devil truly is in the details. If my focus is divided to thinly, I accomplish nothing. Or worse, I can check off everything on my list, but my children are miserable because I’ve ignored them all day.

Now I’m the woman who sees what Satan is doing in her life. I see that he fills my mind with tasks and checklists; busy work that really isn’t important. Today, I’m sure Satan broke my printer so I was unable to give my children a lesson for home school. Yesterday, as I prepared for the first night of a bible study, Satan was everywhere, trying to prevent me from going. He gripped his claws deep into my shoulders until my head ached, my heart screamed and I wanted to just give up and go to bed. If you recognize these symptoms, you are familiar with PMS - Performance Managed by Satan.

I don't have to combat this PMS with an advil - I just fall to my knees, pop a verse or two, pray a decade (or 5) of the Rosary. I can't overdose because God has told me that I can repeat that dosage as often as necessary.

I made it to my bible study last night - despite cramps and headache and a general foul mood. As soon as I stepped through the door to the church, all those feelings were gone. Poof! Gone! Satan coudln't follow me there!