A "Friendly" Reminder

I'm not at home today. I'm staying with a good friend at a Lodge for two nights - for no other reason than to take a few days of from life. We are sitting in a cozy library, in front of a fire, reading (me writing) and just being still. Our kids are with other family members and having their own break from us.

As I sit here, I'm amazed at the sense of comfort I feel - and have always felt - with my friend. She is honest and loving, doesn't compare me to others and accepts me just the way I am. She gave me a bible years ago and stuck with me through sin after sin and year after year. That might sound very common, or expected, to you, but my experience with friends has been very different. She is the first friend I've known for more than 10 years...and still speak to :)

My past friendship failures are mostly my fault...I didn't know how to be a friend, was too prideful, not conciderate enough...the list goes on. But I also moved a few times in my childhood and had to start over twice; once in grade school and once in Junior High (ug!) I suffered from a lack of confidence and the knowledge of what friend really is.

Friends stick together even when it's "icky". Friends don't judge each other because they can see the true person beneath the actions. Friends are patient and kind and patient (yes, patience is that important). My friend loves me no matter what I say, but I also want to say good things to her. When my days are difficult, I know I can call her and she'll listen to my complaints even though my day might be far better than her own - she's a mother of nine children, a fellow-homeschooler and as a result... an inspiration. She fills me with joy, encouarages me through my difficult days, and prays for me.

In reading the bible today, I saw that even Jesus had really good friends - the Apostles. They loved him so much, they stuck with him for three years. Sure, there was a promise that there might be some fame, power, and weath (I'm thinking of Judas), and sure, when the going got tough and Jesus was executed, the Apostles scattered. But Jesus loved them enough to return to them. He forgave their lack of understanding, allowed them to see and touch his wounds (Thomas) and spent more time with them (40 days). That friendship, that call to trust those whom you love, is what started the entire Christian faith.

I think of all the times I was too hurt by a friend to forgive, to give a second chance, or to ask for a second chance when I had committed the sin. How would my life be different if I had been a good friend? Would I have come to know Jesus sooner? Would I have felt more comfortable in my own skin? Would my friends have stayed with me when I made poor choices?

I can't change the past, but I can control how I handle those situations in the future. Now, I stick with my friends. I might not agree with everything they do, but I love them and and won't leave them simply because they are human. Because I too and human and need them to stick by me.

So I thank God for the friendship of my good friend, Joni, whom I've known for 18 years. I praise Him for His foresight in planting her in front of me in class that day, for her initiative in buying me a Bible, for inviting me to Thanksgiving dinner years ago, for welcoming me into her home, for asking me to stand with her as she married, for the gift of watching our children play together.

I love you, Joni! You are a true inspiration - without you I would not be who I am, who God intended me to be. Thank you!

Jessica

On Being Catholic

Did you know that the Catholic faith is "One"? If you attend mass anywhere in the world, the readings from the bible are the same? The traditions of the mass are the same? Isn't it a great feeling to know that our brothers and sisters in Christ heard the same Word today?

Did you know that the Catholic Church is Holy? Sure is. How can it not be Holy with God and Jesus in the center of everything? God gave us the Holy Spirit to keep us Holy - note that I didn't say perfect. We have the sacraments to return to, to regain God's holy grace. Sinned? Reconcile! Hungry for God's Word? Come to the Eucharist!

Did you know that the Catholic church follows the exact format for praise and worship that Jesus established with his Apostles? That's why we are an Apostolic Church! It's awesome to think that what Jesus did, what he taught Peter, what Peter taught his followers, is what we still do today.

Did you know that the Catholic Church is the only Christian Church with a Pope? Yeah, you did :) Peter was the first Pope. The Catholic Faith has maintained a true line of heritage from Peter through to today's Pope Benedict. As always, because people are imperfect, some of the actions of the pope's have been imperfect, but God's grace and forgiveness is flawless!

Did you know that the Catholic Church is called "She"? She is One, Holy, Catholic,and Apostolic. She is Christ's Bride.

Did you know that the Catholic faith was the only Christian faith for over 1,000 years? That in the last 1,000 years (but particularly the last 2 decades) that the Christian faith has been divided into over 33,000 different denominations? That brings a verse to mind..."If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand."(Mark 3:25)

So after all this, you might think that I am against all other Christian churches. Not so. I hope that all Christian churches love Jesus as much as Catholics do. I hope all Christian churches love the bible - the book that was put together by Catholics. I hope that all the churches look for a Catholic bible to read the books that their bible is missing. I hope all churches understand that the Eucharist is the greatest gift that Jesus gave us. What could be a greater sacrifice that body and blood? I pray for all my brothers and sisters in Christ to be as loving toward Catholics as we are to others, for Jesus loved all men. And where Jesus is, I pray that he is holding us all together.

Ignoring Satan

There was a time in my past when I was afraid of people who had a strong faith. I feared they would have God’s ability to see through my skin and into my soul, witnessing my sin and judging me. Shame and grief over poor decisions and selfish choices kept me away from the one place I really needed – and wanted – to be. Church. In God’s home. In Jesus’ arms.

I remember a woman talking about how Satan had tried to keep her from doing what God wanted her to do. The specifics of her situation have faded from my memory, or maybe I stopped listening when she talked about Satan, but I remember looking at her differently. Was she joking? How could she possibly think that Satan would or could do anything to mess up her day? Didn’t she believe in God? Can you believe in God and Satan?

Oh, how little I knew.

I’m not sure exactly where my journey back to God began; maybe it was with that woman’s statement. Maybe it was my ex-boyfriend who was so critical of Catholics. I’m sure a part of it was my girlfriend who gave me a bible so I “would have it when I needed it”. There were many little things that happened in my young adulthood that both pulled me away and pushed me back to God. As I near 40, it’s motherhood and the choice to home school that have played important roles in my rebirth. It’s my husband’s passion for the Lord that inspires me. It’s that same girlfriend with the bible who is still my friend.

With this renewed faith, I’m stronger. Like a weight lifter or a marathon runner, my bible readings and studies are barbells and miles of road. I can feel my spiritual muscles aching after an intense bible study class. Through the little that I’ve gained in faith (I have a long way to go!) I been granted a clear vision of what is really going on in my life. Do you remember the book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, And It’s All Small Stuff? Small stuff can fill my mind with cotton balls until I can't think straight - you know, a head full of fluff.

Little things...Empty the dishwasher. Return phone calls. Prepare for a meeting. Wash the clothes. Make dinner. Teach the children. Check emails. Return gifts. Grocery shop. Clean up the spilled milk. Bathe the baby. Discipline the toddler. Take dinner to a friend. Go to church. Join a bible study. Lead a bible study. Go to a retreat. Scrapbook. Write. Read. Pray. Sweep the floor…

I’m strong enough in my faith to recognize that the devil truly is in the details. If my focus is divided to thinly, I accomplish nothing. Or worse, I can check off everything on my list, but my children are miserable because I’ve ignored them all day.

Now I’m the woman who sees what Satan is doing in her life. I see that he fills my mind with tasks and checklists; busy work that really isn’t important. Today, I’m sure Satan broke my printer so I was unable to give my children a lesson for home school. Yesterday, as I prepared for the first night of a bible study, Satan was everywhere, trying to prevent me from going. He gripped his claws deep into my shoulders until my head ached, my heart screamed and I wanted to just give up and go to bed. If you recognize these symptoms, you are familiar with PMS - Performance Managed by Satan.

I don't have to combat this PMS with an advil - I just fall to my knees, pop a verse or two, pray a decade (or 5) of the Rosary. I can't overdose because God has told me that I can repeat that dosage as often as necessary.

I made it to my bible study last night - despite cramps and headache and a general foul mood. As soon as I stepped through the door to the church, all those feelings were gone. Poof! Gone! Satan coudln't follow me there!

Trust

Tonight is the first night for my new bible study for post-abortive women. It’s the first time I will be leading it with a friend of mine from the Pregnancy Services in East Lansing.

I’ve been praying for a bible verse that I could refer to as I prepare for this study – a verse that would be my mantra, my strength, my refuge when things get tough. God didn’t whisper it in my ear, He just brought the same verse to me several different times over the course of a week or two.

Matthew 16:19 NIV
“What you lock on earth will be locked in heaven. What you unlock on earth will be unlocked in heaven.”

When I read that, my eyes were blind to its meaning. I thought maybe God had sent me the wrong verse. If this verse was meant to be the one to guide me through this study, shouldn’t I understand it?

Duh. Yeah!

Then it clicked! If I bind my fears here on earth, if I don’t do what God has planned for me, I will take those fears and the failures that result from those fears with me when I die. Then I would stand before God and have to explain my choices. No, thank you!

If I unlock my fears while I’m living, if I don’t worry about what other people see in me, but seek God in all I think, say and do, then when I come before Him, I will have no baggage. There will be nothing holding me back from accepting all He as to offer. Sign me up for that!

Attending and leading a bible study for women who have suffered from abortions is not easy. Walking into that first meeting is as scary as walking before a firing squad. But if we face God and ask Him for strength to drop that which is holding us back, He will respond. He will not let us down.

Please pray for women like me who have had abortions- pray that they find forgiveness for themselves, from their child, and see that God will always love them and He is waiting for them to realize that and come home.

Life after forgiveness is a gift of Love that comes only from trusting God.
 

Birthdays

My oldest daughter turned 10 today. There is such a mixture of emotions I encounter each time one of my children celebrates a birthday.

I'm overjoyed at the priveldge of being a parent.
I'm a little freaked out that my children are actually getting older.
I remember the emotions I felt at those ages: the things I was afraid of, my friends at the time, the way I viewed my parents; and I wonder how they are viewing their world.
I'm thrilled (yes, prideful) of the beauties they are becoming, their maturity and sense of self are astonishing to me.
I'm sad to see the years of "tiny" fall away - tiny hands and feet, tiny kisses, tiny teeth, tiny little bodies.
The feeling that I want to be the most important guide for me on their birthdays is HOPE. I hope they will continue to grow well. I hope for their future. I hope they will always celebrate their birthday's with me. I hope I am doing what God wants me to do as their mother. I just hope!

Listening

Have you ever been in a situation that you knew your voice, your ideas, your opinions were not being heard? Either someone in the group was hogging the conversation (which by definition is not conversation!), or someone really didn’t think you knew what you were talking about? When I find myself in those situations, after a while, I stop trying to be heard. I give up. I start to think badly of the person doing all the talking. I retreat into my shell.

Sometimes, if my mood is just prickly enough, I will shout out and demand to be heard!

Transfer that idea to our prayers. Are you doing all the talking and not taking the time to sit back and listen to God? Is He letting you talk? Is He giving up on trying to be heard? Or is He standing up and shouting to you?

Be still and know that I am God.

My husband attended a silent retreat last weekend in Detroit at the Capuchin Retreat Center. If you have never been there, I highly recommend it. The theme for the weekend was Prayer – all different kinds of prayer. One of the reasons I love being Catholic is all the different styles of prayer we practice. There is literally something for everyone. There is meditative prayer, repetitive prayer, from the heart prayer, Eucharistic prayer, adoration, silent prayer, reconciliation, liturgy, Mass, the Rosary, and more. (sounds like a sales pitch, doesn’t it?)

One meditation that my husband was encouraged to try was to take a verse from the bible and repeat it again and again silently.

Try it:

Be still and know that I am God.

Be still and know that I am God.

Be still and know that I am God.

Now repeat it with your eyes closed. Block out all visual stimulation and think about the words.

Another exercise is to repeat it as many times as you feel necessary, then drop one word from the end. How does that change the meaning? Keeping dropping words.

Be still and know that I am God.

Be still and know that I am.

Be still and know.

Be still.

Be.

That changes things, doesn’t it?

Now reverse it. Start with one word and go back to the full sentence, repeating it until you have a clear vision of what God is saying to you.

Be.

Be still.

Be still and know.

Be still and know that I am.

Be still and know that I am God.