Adopting a New Plan

Two years ago, my husband and I finally took God's advice. We filled out papers for adoption, contacted a bank for the loan, held a garage sale to raise money, invited case workers to our house to approve us, and prayed all the while.

Then we waited. For two years, birthmothers looked at our profile and turned us down. Each birthmother came to the table with an idea in their hearts about the family that would raise their child. We didn't fit. We have three children. And according to our case worker, we are very white - blonde hair, blue eyes, and burn-red-in-the-sun skin.

What I find funny now is that I actually went into this adoption thing thinking, "I'm a good person. I'm a great mom. I homeschool because I have a great love for learning. We won't have to wait long. The birthmoms will see how great we are."

I know. Pride. It will get you every time. Perhaps God saw my pride and shook his head. "Oh, Jessica," He said. "We will use this adoption to work on this."

And work it did. After two years of waiting for a child, I began to think that adoption wasn't for us. Maybe we misunderstood God's plans for us. Maybe we should have supported others in their adoption plans because this certainly wasn't working for us. What I should have learned is that my opinion of how I think I am doesn't matter. It took two years for that to sink in.

Again, I know...God's timing is not my timing. Along with my pride, God was also working on my patience.

Then, on a Monday in June we recieved a phone call from our case worker that a birthmother had selected us. We met her on Tuesday and a baby boy was born that Friday. We visited mom and baby on Sunday and brought him home on Monday. Phew! When God decides it's time...it's time!

And guess what she liked about us. Yep! We are white and we have three daughters. Is God amazing or what!?!

There are so many lessons here my head is spinning, but the most prominent lesson is this: Trust in the Lord. I know there is a fancier way to say this...God knows what He's doing. Listen, pray, then act. He'll get you back on track if you goof it up. But trust in Him above all else.

Amen?

Yeah :)