There are days that I feel like I’m a character in a Frank Peretti novel. His descriptions of demons clinging onto people, steering them using their weaknesses are exactly what I’ve been feeling. The demon I’m dealing with is all a tangle of fangs and claws and deceit. He whispers doubts in my ears and opens doors to anger. He finds satisfaction in my anguish.
Prayer is my only defense. I utter pleas of release between washing dishes and changing diapers. I succumb to the viciousness of the demonic attacks in my laziness and complacency. I beg God and pray to Jesus to remove this unseemly character from my shoulders. And yet, I find that he is still there, lurking in my darkness, seeking each tiny opportunity to blow open any small crack to create gaping holes in the walls of my faith.
But listen here, demon. I’m not giving up. Your teeth might sink down to my bone and I might cry out in pain, but I will not give up. I will win this war; the battles may seem to go in your favor, but I have God on my side. Who do you have?
You have doubts? I have ambition.
You try to feed me despair; I drink in the saving blood of Jesus.
You serve up anger; and I will wipe it clean with forgiveness.
If you try again to defeat me with fear, I will come back with a sword of relentless faith.
For I know that with every step I take towards God, you will fight harder to win me back. But you are losing, demon. You will lose!
Lord, I know that You will answer all the prayers of those who truly believe in you and yet I’m still struggling with this demon, these character flaws, these weakness. If I’m to carry this burden, Lord, then I pray for the strength to do so with dignity. If I’m to always feel these shortcomings and fears, then I ask that these things make me stronger. All things are possible through You. Amen!!!
Friday, August 20, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
The Assumption of Mary
Today should be Mother's Day. In the Catholic Faith, today is the day we celebrate Mary,the virgin mother of our Lord, Jesus Christ.
It has always been the belief of the Catholic Faith that when Mary died, God took her body and soul into Heaven. After all, why would the Creator of all things want the mother of his son to be left on earth? He protected her body from decay by bringing her up to heaven. This belief was confirmed into the Catholic Dogma in the 1950's. As such, many Christians believe it to be a new belief. It's not. From the moment her Son was lifted into heaven, Mary prayed for her Son's church. Her prayers strengthened the Apostles and their Disciples. (CCC 965)
"Finally the Immaculate Virgin, preserved free from all stain of original sin, when the course of her earthly life was finished, was taken up body and soul into heavenly glory, and exalted by the Lord as Queen over all things, so that she might be the more fully conformed to her Son, the Lord of lords and conqueror of sin and death." (CCC 966)
Think, for just a moment, what the world would be like without her fiat to God. There would have been no virgin birth, no shining star, and no three wise men. Our world would be without parables or Prodigal Sons and treasures buried in fields. The 12 Apostles would never have left their fishing nets and families to take on a radical life with Jesus. The blood spilled on the cross would never have happened, our sins would still bring only death. Hell's door would not have been blown apart by Jesus' resurrection. We would not have the churches we have. The New Testament? Nope.
One woman changed the world with a simple "yes".
"In giving birth you kept your virginity; in your Dormition you did not leave the world, O Mother of God, but were joined to the source of Life. You conceived the living God and, by your prayers, will deliver our souls from death." Byzantine Liturgy, Troparion, Feast of the Dormition, August 15th.
A prayer for all Mothers:
Lord, you carefully selected Mary to be the mother of your Son. Each of us here on this earth has a mother, someone whom You selected for us. Many of us know and love our mothers, but many do not; whether through adoption, death, or some other separation. Lord, I ask that you bless all mothers today in a special way. Comfort them and their children in the way only You can. In Your name we pray, Amen.
(dormition means to fall asleep, or figuratively, death. Also, celebration in the Eastern Orthodox Church of the Virgin Mary's being taken up into heaven when her earthly life ended; corresponds to the Assumption in the Roman Catholic Church and is also celebrated on August 15th. Definitions taken from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/dormition)
It has always been the belief of the Catholic Faith that when Mary died, God took her body and soul into Heaven. After all, why would the Creator of all things want the mother of his son to be left on earth? He protected her body from decay by bringing her up to heaven. This belief was confirmed into the Catholic Dogma in the 1950's. As such, many Christians believe it to be a new belief. It's not. From the moment her Son was lifted into heaven, Mary prayed for her Son's church. Her prayers strengthened the Apostles and their Disciples. (CCC 965)
"Finally the Immaculate Virgin, preserved free from all stain of original sin, when the course of her earthly life was finished, was taken up body and soul into heavenly glory, and exalted by the Lord as Queen over all things, so that she might be the more fully conformed to her Son, the Lord of lords and conqueror of sin and death." (CCC 966)
Think, for just a moment, what the world would be like without her fiat to God. There would have been no virgin birth, no shining star, and no three wise men. Our world would be without parables or Prodigal Sons and treasures buried in fields. The 12 Apostles would never have left their fishing nets and families to take on a radical life with Jesus. The blood spilled on the cross would never have happened, our sins would still bring only death. Hell's door would not have been blown apart by Jesus' resurrection. We would not have the churches we have. The New Testament? Nope.
One woman changed the world with a simple "yes".
"In giving birth you kept your virginity; in your Dormition you did not leave the world, O Mother of God, but were joined to the source of Life. You conceived the living God and, by your prayers, will deliver our souls from death." Byzantine Liturgy, Troparion, Feast of the Dormition, August 15th.
A prayer for all Mothers:
Lord, you carefully selected Mary to be the mother of your Son. Each of us here on this earth has a mother, someone whom You selected for us. Many of us know and love our mothers, but many do not; whether through adoption, death, or some other separation. Lord, I ask that you bless all mothers today in a special way. Comfort them and their children in the way only You can. In Your name we pray, Amen.
(dormition means to fall asleep, or figuratively, death. Also, celebration in the Eastern Orthodox Church of the Virgin Mary's being taken up into heaven when her earthly life ended; corresponds to the Assumption in the Roman Catholic Church and is also celebrated on August 15th. Definitions taken from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/dormition)
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Adopting a New Plan
Two years ago, my husband and I finally took God's advice. We filled out papers for adoption, contacted a bank for the loan, held a garage sale to raise money, invited case workers to our house to approve us, and prayed all the while.
Then we waited. For two years, birthmothers looked at our profile and turned us down. Each birthmother came to the table with an idea in their hearts about the family that would raise their child. We didn't fit. We have three children. And according to our case worker, we are very white - blonde hair, blue eyes, and burn-red-in-the-sun skin.
What I find funny now is that I actually went into this adoption thing thinking, "I'm a good person. I'm a great mom. I homeschool because I have a great love for learning. We won't have to wait long. The birthmoms will see how great we are."
I know. Pride. It will get you every time. Perhaps God saw my pride and shook his head. "Oh, Jessica," He said. "We will use this adoption to work on this."
And work it did. After two years of waiting for a child, I began to think that adoption wasn't for us. Maybe we misunderstood God's plans for us. Maybe we should have supported others in their adoption plans because this certainly wasn't working for us. What I should have learned is that my opinion of how I think I am doesn't matter. It took two years for that to sink in.
Again, I know...God's timing is not my timing. Along with my pride, God was also working on my patience.
Then, on a Monday in June we recieved a phone call from our case worker that a birthmother had selected us. We met her on Tuesday and a baby boy was born that Friday. We visited mom and baby on Sunday and brought him home on Monday. Phew! When God decides it's time...it's time!
And guess what she liked about us. Yep! We are white and we have three daughters. Is God amazing or what!?!
There are so many lessons here my head is spinning, but the most prominent lesson is this: Trust in the Lord. I know there is a fancier way to say this...God knows what He's doing. Listen, pray, then act. He'll get you back on track if you goof it up. But trust in Him above all else.
Amen?
Yeah :)
Then we waited. For two years, birthmothers looked at our profile and turned us down. Each birthmother came to the table with an idea in their hearts about the family that would raise their child. We didn't fit. We have three children. And according to our case worker, we are very white - blonde hair, blue eyes, and burn-red-in-the-sun skin.
What I find funny now is that I actually went into this adoption thing thinking, "I'm a good person. I'm a great mom. I homeschool because I have a great love for learning. We won't have to wait long. The birthmoms will see how great we are."
I know. Pride. It will get you every time. Perhaps God saw my pride and shook his head. "Oh, Jessica," He said. "We will use this adoption to work on this."
And work it did. After two years of waiting for a child, I began to think that adoption wasn't for us. Maybe we misunderstood God's plans for us. Maybe we should have supported others in their adoption plans because this certainly wasn't working for us. What I should have learned is that my opinion of how I think I am doesn't matter. It took two years for that to sink in.
Again, I know...God's timing is not my timing. Along with my pride, God was also working on my patience.
Then, on a Monday in June we recieved a phone call from our case worker that a birthmother had selected us. We met her on Tuesday and a baby boy was born that Friday. We visited mom and baby on Sunday and brought him home on Monday. Phew! When God decides it's time...it's time!
And guess what she liked about us. Yep! We are white and we have three daughters. Is God amazing or what!?!
There are so many lessons here my head is spinning, but the most prominent lesson is this: Trust in the Lord. I know there is a fancier way to say this...God knows what He's doing. Listen, pray, then act. He'll get you back on track if you goof it up. But trust in Him above all else.
Amen?
Yeah :)
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