I'm not at home today. I'm staying with a good friend at a Lodge for two nights - for no other reason than to take a few days of from life. We are sitting in a cozy library, in front of a fire, reading (me writing) and just being still. Our kids are with other family members and having their own break from us.
As I sit here, I'm amazed at the sense of comfort I feel - and have always felt - with my friend. She is honest and loving, doesn't compare me to others and accepts me just the way I am. She gave me a bible years ago and stuck with me through sin after sin and year after year. That might sound very common, or expected, to you, but my experience with friends has been very different. She is the first friend I've known for more than 10 years...and still speak to :)
My past friendship failures are mostly my fault...I didn't know how to be a friend, was too prideful, not conciderate enough...the list goes on. But I also moved a few times in my childhood and had to start over twice; once in grade school and once in Junior High (ug!) I suffered from a lack of confidence and the knowledge of what friend really is.
Friends stick together even when it's "icky". Friends don't judge each other because they can see the true person beneath the actions. Friends are patient and kind and patient (yes, patience is that important). My friend loves me no matter what I say, but I also want to say good things to her. When my days are difficult, I know I can call her and she'll listen to my complaints even though my day might be far better than her own - she's a mother of nine children, a fellow-homeschooler and as a result... an inspiration. She fills me with joy, encouarages me through my difficult days, and prays for me.
In reading the bible today, I saw that even Jesus had really good friends - the Apostles. They loved him so much, they stuck with him for three years. Sure, there was a promise that there might be some fame, power, and weath (I'm thinking of Judas), and sure, when the going got tough and Jesus was executed, the Apostles scattered. But Jesus loved them enough to return to them. He forgave their lack of understanding, allowed them to see and touch his wounds (Thomas) and spent more time with them (40 days). That friendship, that call to trust those whom you love, is what started the entire Christian faith.
I think of all the times I was too hurt by a friend to forgive, to give a second chance, or to ask for a second chance when I had committed the sin. How would my life be different if I had been a good friend? Would I have come to know Jesus sooner? Would I have felt more comfortable in my own skin? Would my friends have stayed with me when I made poor choices?
I can't change the past, but I can control how I handle those situations in the future. Now, I stick with my friends. I might not agree with everything they do, but I love them and and won't leave them simply because they are human. Because I too and human and need them to stick by me.
So I thank God for the friendship of my good friend, Joni, whom I've known for 18 years. I praise Him for His foresight in planting her in front of me in class that day, for her initiative in buying me a Bible, for inviting me to Thanksgiving dinner years ago, for welcoming me into her home, for asking me to stand with her as she married, for the gift of watching our children play together.
I love you, Joni! You are a true inspiration - without you I would not be who I am, who God intended me to be. Thank you!
Jessica
No comments:
Post a Comment