What do you do when the only plant in your garden that produces vegetables is the zucchini plant? And not just a few nice zucchinis, but 50 pounds of zucchini? Aside from considering tossing it into the neighbors cow pasture, I decided to take a walk on the ‘green’ side and find recipes.
Recipe One: Zucchini Pasta. This was actually my idea (I know, you’re gasping!) but I’m sure I’m not the first one to try it. Using my julienne slicer, I cut the oversized zucchini into pasta noodles, sprinkled them with parmesan cheese and baked @ 400 degrees F for about 25 minutes. I topped it with spaghetti and meat sauce, but meatballs, a marinara sauce, or a cream sauce are just as yummy.
My vote: 5 out of 5 stars.
Kids vote: 2 out of 5 stars.
Recipe Two. Zucchini Custard Pie, found in the Whole Foods recipe book. Surprisingly sweet and delightful. Great with a cup of coffee. (This would be best served immediately, as the next day the zucchini reduced the pie crust to a gooey mess).
My vote: 3 out of 5
Kids vote: 2 out of 5
Recipe Three: Roasted Garden Veggies. This is a personal favorite that I use year-round with whatever veggies are available. Today I used zucchini, Vidalia onions and sweet potatoes – all chopped into bite-size pieces. In a mixing bowl, I coated the veggies with about 4 tablespoons of olive oil, a sprinkling of salt and pepper (and sometimes a dash of cayenne pepper). Bake at 400 until potatoes are soft – usually about 40 minutes.
My vote: 5 out of 5
Kids vote: 5 out of 5
Recipe Four: Baked Zucchini Custard. Diced zucchini, onion and peppers in one bowl. Puree 2 eggs, about 10 ounces of silken tofu, ½ grated cheese. Mixed together with veggies. Pour into a baking dish. 350 F for about 40 minutes, or until the top is nice and golden brown.
My vote: 5 out of 5
Kids vote: 3 out of 5
Recipe Five: Good Ol’ Zucchini Bread and Muffins. There are three dozen different recipes in the cookbooks in my house and they are all wonderful.
My vote: 5 out of 5
Kids vote: 5 out of 5
Recipe Six: Chocolate Zucchini Bread. Same as above, just add cocoa powder.
My vote: 5 out of 5
Kids vote: 5 out of 5
Recipe Seven: Zucchini Pizza Crust. Again, this one is my creation – purely out of need. Grate 1-2 over-grown or 6-7 normal sized zucchini. Squeeze out extra water. Mix with 3-4 egg whites, parmesan cheese, chopped basil (fresh or dried), and salt and pepper to taste. Mix in 1/3 cup whole wheat flour (for a gluten free pizza crust, use rice flour or any other flour substitute). Spread on a pizza pan and bake until eggs are done.
A variety of toppings go well on this: traditional pizza toppings or for a fresh meal, try fresh basil, tomato and mozzarella cheese. This is also good as a standalone zucchini bread without any toppings.
My vote: 5 out of 5
Kids vote: 5 out of 5 (although my youngest insisted on a 3 out of 5 rating)
Monday, August 8, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Trapped by Household Dolrums?
Have you ever watched a movie and wished that your life, too, could be as grand as the hero's life? That you could save the day, rescue the child, stop that disease, or be the woman whose man would fight to the death for her? Yeah, Hollywood perfection can really mess with your mind. The great struggles and the happy endings, the size 2 women and the men with broad shoulders and deep blue eyes make the average lives of Jane and John (or in my case, Jessica and Bill) seem less than incredible.
It's easy to fall into this feeling of small-ness. I have. But I don't like it. I know that there is something wrong with that type of thinking - that my life doesn't count for something. So, being me, I started researching to find a way out.
Did you know there is a Saint for Little Ways? Doesn't that sound nice? A Saint that lived a little life, followed her child-like heart and became a warrior for God all by doing her daily tasks with compassion. St. Therese of Lisieux is just such a Saint.
I need to take a serious lesson from her book (literally a book, Story of a Soul). During her time at the convent, she took all the smallest, most menial chores and did them happily. She was purposefully friendly to the sisters who were cruel. She prayed with a child's heart, maintaining that awe in Jesus that is usually found in the hearts of children who haven't been corrupted by the ways of the world.
Imagine how my household (and perhaps yours too) would change if I did the dishes day in and day out while smiling and singing? And that mountain of laundry? No problem! I'll do that and be thankful that I can provide my family with a mountain of clothing. Keeping the house clean would become a duty of honor, for what mother doesn't want to give her family a clean, safe and happy home? And when 5:00 rolls around, dinner would be ready. (Yeah, I'm laughing at that one. While I usually know what dinner is going to be, I have only rarely prepared it in a timely manner!)
So I'm challenging myself through the month of July (for starters) to look at the things that normally pull me down and change them to things I can do in thanksgiving to God for all He has given me. I remind my children to do things with a happy heart - and I need to remind my own heart to follow that rule as well. My children are learning to care for their things by doing laundry and dishes and vacuuming and they find an element of excitement in doing things that grown-ups do. Interesting. Why don't I feel that way anymore? Am I so blinded by my blessings that I can't see the beauty in the little ways of my life? What would happen if I returned my heart and mind to do things with the joy and passion of a child?
My life is not big. I'm a hero only to my children. My hero is my husband. I won't save the world, but I can save my family from the world. I probably won't ever be a size 2..or 4 or 6, but my husband loves me just the way I am. We wouldn't be appealing on the big screen, but I love our home videos of fun times with the kids. But I am hoping for a happy ending! I'll never give up on that!
It's easy to fall into this feeling of small-ness. I have. But I don't like it. I know that there is something wrong with that type of thinking - that my life doesn't count for something. So, being me, I started researching to find a way out.
Did you know there is a Saint for Little Ways? Doesn't that sound nice? A Saint that lived a little life, followed her child-like heart and became a warrior for God all by doing her daily tasks with compassion. St. Therese of Lisieux is just such a Saint.
I need to take a serious lesson from her book (literally a book, Story of a Soul). During her time at the convent, she took all the smallest, most menial chores and did them happily. She was purposefully friendly to the sisters who were cruel. She prayed with a child's heart, maintaining that awe in Jesus that is usually found in the hearts of children who haven't been corrupted by the ways of the world.
Imagine how my household (and perhaps yours too) would change if I did the dishes day in and day out while smiling and singing? And that mountain of laundry? No problem! I'll do that and be thankful that I can provide my family with a mountain of clothing. Keeping the house clean would become a duty of honor, for what mother doesn't want to give her family a clean, safe and happy home? And when 5:00 rolls around, dinner would be ready. (Yeah, I'm laughing at that one. While I usually know what dinner is going to be, I have only rarely prepared it in a timely manner!)
So I'm challenging myself through the month of July (for starters) to look at the things that normally pull me down and change them to things I can do in thanksgiving to God for all He has given me. I remind my children to do things with a happy heart - and I need to remind my own heart to follow that rule as well. My children are learning to care for their things by doing laundry and dishes and vacuuming and they find an element of excitement in doing things that grown-ups do. Interesting. Why don't I feel that way anymore? Am I so blinded by my blessings that I can't see the beauty in the little ways of my life? What would happen if I returned my heart and mind to do things with the joy and passion of a child?
My life is not big. I'm a hero only to my children. My hero is my husband. I won't save the world, but I can save my family from the world. I probably won't ever be a size 2..or 4 or 6, but my husband loves me just the way I am. We wouldn't be appealing on the big screen, but I love our home videos of fun times with the kids. But I am hoping for a happy ending! I'll never give up on that!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
The Grass Under Our Feet
The other day I took my kids to the park and had one of those rare moments of freedom and clarity that comes from taking in nature in the tiniest detail. Lying on my stomach, feeling the grass prickle my arms, I was delighted by the cool relief the green carpet offered from the sun. I wasn’t afraid of insects, just comforted by the fact that I was, essentially, prostrating myself before God in the middle of a park, enjoying the complete thrill of God’s creation in the summer sun.
It was then that I noticed the grass in detail. Every blade was different – different to the point that when the wind blew, only some of the blades moved. Only a few blades caught the wind, bending in a romantic dip with the invisible force and springing back up to be bent again as the dance continued. A few other blades shuddered for a second under the wind, but resumed their stock-still stance, unrelenting under a greater force. The majority of the grass was unmoved. Staunch. Resilient.
My mind cleared and perhaps God whispered in my ear, “Be a dancing blade of grass. Let my breath move you.”
I looked at my life, from my youth to today as I’m approaching 40. The years I spent resisting God led me to ruin: to deny who I was, to ignore the purpose and meaning of life. For months now, I have come to realize that I am quickly becoming one of “them” – those people who call on the Lord’s name in utter joy during moments when the rest of the world is happily living in ignorance (and when I’m around, slight irritation that I keep commenting on God’s wonders!) Call me a Christian, a devout Catholic, a bible thumper, soap-box preacher, born-again…it’s all true. My joy comes from the breath of God that waves over this earth and catches me as I lean toward him. Some folks find refuge in Him for a moment, but fear being called names, like 'do-gooder' or a 'Christian on a mission', and are quick to resume their own means of living and resist God’s love. Other ignore Him altogether and miss the great beauty of a life of love, knowledge, and wisdom.
All that from two minutes of quiet time! When God wants to speak, He certainly will. If we would give Him just a few minutes of our time each day, He will lead us – even to the point of speaking to us through the grass under our feet!
Friday, June 10, 2011
Book Recommendation
Confessions of a Mega Church Pastor, by Allen Hunt
Our parish, St. Therese in the north side of Lansing, MI, offers a plentiful array of resources for Catholics wishing to strengthen their faith and understanding of the One, True Church. Allen Hunt's book has been sitting on a display case for months before my husband finally picked it up...and he couldn't put it down. The next week, he purchased another copy for my mother and she loved it as well. So, I dove into Mr. Hunt's book and was captivated by his honest approach to the beauty and oneness of my faith.
If you are feeling lost in the Church, read Allen's book. If you face questions from non-Catholic friends about the Catholic faith, read his book. If you are a non-Catholic and you don't understand why Catholic's call the Church the ONE church, read it!
A note to Allen Hunt: Thank you for writing this book. I was born into the Catholic faith, but have recently opened my eyes to the true beauty of my Church. Your story has deepened my love for God, for Jesus, for the Holy Spirit in ways I was not expecting. I've been given the gift of tears and felt a true connection to Saint Padre Pio as I prayed the Rosary last night - and it lead me to drive to the adoration chapel in town and visit my Lord and Savior. The Appendices in the book are pulling me forward and I can't wait to discover what God has in store for me today! May God bless you, Allen Hunt!
Our parish, St. Therese in the north side of Lansing, MI, offers a plentiful array of resources for Catholics wishing to strengthen their faith and understanding of the One, True Church. Allen Hunt's book has been sitting on a display case for months before my husband finally picked it up...and he couldn't put it down. The next week, he purchased another copy for my mother and she loved it as well. So, I dove into Mr. Hunt's book and was captivated by his honest approach to the beauty and oneness of my faith.
If you are feeling lost in the Church, read Allen's book. If you face questions from non-Catholic friends about the Catholic faith, read his book. If you are a non-Catholic and you don't understand why Catholic's call the Church the ONE church, read it!
A note to Allen Hunt: Thank you for writing this book. I was born into the Catholic faith, but have recently opened my eyes to the true beauty of my Church. Your story has deepened my love for God, for Jesus, for the Holy Spirit in ways I was not expecting. I've been given the gift of tears and felt a true connection to Saint Padre Pio as I prayed the Rosary last night - and it lead me to drive to the adoration chapel in town and visit my Lord and Savior. The Appendices in the book are pulling me forward and I can't wait to discover what God has in store for me today! May God bless you, Allen Hunt!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Homeschooling Summer
A question keeps cropping up when I'm out and about with the kids: "Are you on summer vacation?" It's an innocent question and should be a simple thing to answer, but the girls turn to me dumbfounded. "How do I answer this?" their faces ask.
As a homeschooling family, we came to the conclusion that it is counter-productive to stop schooling for three whole months. Here's why: the summer between 3rd and 4th grade, my family traveled, played, swam and had a blast! We drove from El Paso, Texas to Grand Rapids, Michigan and visited family for 2 whole weeks. If the weather was nice, I was outside playing. If it wasn't, I was inside playing. And then school started. That first day, the teacher did a series of assessments on her new class: a spelling test of words I should know, a cursive sample, a read aloud section, a short quiz to test my reading comprehension. Before I began the first assignment, I picked up a pencil I it felt completely foreign in my hand. I couldn't remember how to form a capital "J" in cursive. I couldn't remember how to spell the word "your". To no surprise, I was put in the lower reading group.
I don't want that experience for my children for several reasons: 1) I felt stupid; 2) There are wonderful worlds in books to explore; 3) writing in a journal everyday is important in terms of the memories the girls record of their childhood and the treasure that will be for them in their adult life; and 4) a structured day benefits everyone.
Now before you start thinking that I'm a hard-nosed, academic driven mother with lofty dreams for her children, let me agree with that. Our summer is not completely filled with sprinklers and play dates, although those are definitely a part of the structure, we also plan time to read, to write letters to friends and family, to continue in our math books, and to read scripture and attend daily Mass together.
We call this our 'Summer Schedule'. Three days a week we do our History and Science readings. Every day we either go to Mass or read the daily readings together at the table. On Fridays we meet friends at a park. We have scheduled two weeks at two different VBS programs. We are camping and visiting family who live out of town. And we journal daily.
So I encourage you who have children; take them to the store and let them pick out a journal and a pen. Take them to the library once a week so they can participate in the summer reading program. Encourage them by your example to take time each day to read and write. But remember! Before you pick up that best-seller, spend 15 minutes reading a global best-seller: The Bible.
Now my children know how to answer the question: "Are you on summer vacation?" They say, "Yes. We homeschool and are reading really great books. We are doing a tour of parks and playgrounds in our county. And this week we are starting a daily Mass tour of the Catholic churches in Lansing. So far it's a great summer vacation!" (note: I did not coach them to add that last sentence. My children truly are enjoying the structure I'm providing, love the different schedule from the regular school year, and look forward to going to different Catholic churches for daily Mass.)
As a homeschooling family, we came to the conclusion that it is counter-productive to stop schooling for three whole months. Here's why: the summer between 3rd and 4th grade, my family traveled, played, swam and had a blast! We drove from El Paso, Texas to Grand Rapids, Michigan and visited family for 2 whole weeks. If the weather was nice, I was outside playing. If it wasn't, I was inside playing. And then school started. That first day, the teacher did a series of assessments on her new class: a spelling test of words I should know, a cursive sample, a read aloud section, a short quiz to test my reading comprehension. Before I began the first assignment, I picked up a pencil I it felt completely foreign in my hand. I couldn't remember how to form a capital "J" in cursive. I couldn't remember how to spell the word "your". To no surprise, I was put in the lower reading group.
I don't want that experience for my children for several reasons: 1) I felt stupid; 2) There are wonderful worlds in books to explore; 3) writing in a journal everyday is important in terms of the memories the girls record of their childhood and the treasure that will be for them in their adult life; and 4) a structured day benefits everyone.
Now before you start thinking that I'm a hard-nosed, academic driven mother with lofty dreams for her children, let me agree with that. Our summer is not completely filled with sprinklers and play dates, although those are definitely a part of the structure, we also plan time to read, to write letters to friends and family, to continue in our math books, and to read scripture and attend daily Mass together.
We call this our 'Summer Schedule'. Three days a week we do our History and Science readings. Every day we either go to Mass or read the daily readings together at the table. On Fridays we meet friends at a park. We have scheduled two weeks at two different VBS programs. We are camping and visiting family who live out of town. And we journal daily.
So I encourage you who have children; take them to the store and let them pick out a journal and a pen. Take them to the library once a week so they can participate in the summer reading program. Encourage them by your example to take time each day to read and write. But remember! Before you pick up that best-seller, spend 15 minutes reading a global best-seller: The Bible.
Now my children know how to answer the question: "Are you on summer vacation?" They say, "Yes. We homeschool and are reading really great books. We are doing a tour of parks and playgrounds in our county. And this week we are starting a daily Mass tour of the Catholic churches in Lansing. So far it's a great summer vacation!" (note: I did not coach them to add that last sentence. My children truly are enjoying the structure I'm providing, love the different schedule from the regular school year, and look forward to going to different Catholic churches for daily Mass.)
Thursday, May 26, 2011
The Flight of the Mother Bee
My view of motherhood is only 11.5 years old, consisting of: four children, one-income, a growing faith, homeschooling, and a constant feeling that I'm not doing enough to be a great mom.
Yep, that last line is really what guides me as a mom. I question what I do: Am I giving my children enough of my quality time? Am I giving my children enough time away from me? If I make nachos for dinner, am I neglecting their nutrition? Are my actions and words a positive influence on their minds? That is the question that creates the most turbulence: Is what I do really what I want my children to learn? Because I homeschool, they are with me every day, all day. Can I keep that positive attitude that I need to change one more dirty diaper while also teaching fractions to a child on the brink of tears of frustration?
It's my attitude that determines the success of the day. I don't like that kind of pressure, but I think most moms would agree to the truth of that statement.
So how can we, as moms, provide our family with safe, happy days that instill core family values?
Let's take a few lessons from the airlines.
1. If there is a sudden drop in cabin pressure, the oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling. Place your mask on first, then assist a child with his/her mask.
In reality, at times cabin pressure drops without our knowledge. We suddenly find ourselves gasping for breath without the convenience of life-giving oxygen. The best way for me to find time to breathe is to know what my 'oxygen' is. Personally, I find breathing easier when I have time to myself. Everyday, just as much as I need to sleep and eat, I need time alone. With this time I usually read or write, but sometimes all I really want to do is watch a movie without feeling guilty. To find this time, I've started waking up ridiculously early, enjoying the dark quiet of the house, a good book and a hot cup of coffee. When the morning slips by without that time, I stay up late and wrap up my day with a little glass of wine and some writing time. I don't feel sleepy. Just rejuvenated.
This time to myself allows me to better care for my family. When I've taken the time to do what I love to do, then I have more of myself to share with my children and husband.
2. When experiencing turbulence, buckle up.
Turbulence might be a fussy baby, a stubborn child, an argument with your husband, a failed date, a sick child, bad news from a friend - anything. The best safety belt is your faith. Strap it on and hold on. Find the time to pray, to read the Bible and let your children see you doing that so they will know they when life knocks you down, to fall to your knees and lift your voice to God.
3. All baggage must be stored in the overhead compartments.
Ah, baggage. The metaphor is so rich here. At the airports, they have that box that your carry-on luggage is dropped into to make sure it will fit in the storage compartments. How many bags to you carry? I don't mean literally. Go grab a piece of paper and a pen and write down everything you had to do today, all the things you wanted to do today, and then the things that you are worried about. On the back of that page, make a list of everything you are responsible for - mortgage or rent, bills, career, etc. Then make a list of everything you love. Go ahead, I'll wait.
Quite a list isn't it. That's baggage. As women, we carry that list around in our heads at all times. We worry. We manage. We direct. We fix. We stress. We love.
Beware! How many things on your list are just things? What would happen if you gave up half your list - not your responsibilities that keep your family safe and fed and sheltered, but the worries, the fluff, the to-do list? That's heavy baggage and will weigh down the plane.
Every day will have some bumps; some more than others. But a safe flight through parenting means we watch the weather (emotions) forecast and determine our destination carefully. We pack lightly and ask for a window seat so we can see the tops of the clouds and realize that even when we are tucked underneath a cloud-filled sky, somewhere just beyond the grey, there are peaks of clouds bathed in sun. When we are soaked from the rain that just doesn't seem to end, we can acknowledge that the entire world is not rainy and the warm, sunny weather will return. Soon.
Yep, that last line is really what guides me as a mom. I question what I do: Am I giving my children enough of my quality time? Am I giving my children enough time away from me? If I make nachos for dinner, am I neglecting their nutrition? Are my actions and words a positive influence on their minds? That is the question that creates the most turbulence: Is what I do really what I want my children to learn? Because I homeschool, they are with me every day, all day. Can I keep that positive attitude that I need to change one more dirty diaper while also teaching fractions to a child on the brink of tears of frustration?
It's my attitude that determines the success of the day. I don't like that kind of pressure, but I think most moms would agree to the truth of that statement.
So how can we, as moms, provide our family with safe, happy days that instill core family values?
Let's take a few lessons from the airlines.
1. If there is a sudden drop in cabin pressure, the oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling. Place your mask on first, then assist a child with his/her mask.
In reality, at times cabin pressure drops without our knowledge. We suddenly find ourselves gasping for breath without the convenience of life-giving oxygen. The best way for me to find time to breathe is to know what my 'oxygen' is. Personally, I find breathing easier when I have time to myself. Everyday, just as much as I need to sleep and eat, I need time alone. With this time I usually read or write, but sometimes all I really want to do is watch a movie without feeling guilty. To find this time, I've started waking up ridiculously early, enjoying the dark quiet of the house, a good book and a hot cup of coffee. When the morning slips by without that time, I stay up late and wrap up my day with a little glass of wine and some writing time. I don't feel sleepy. Just rejuvenated.
This time to myself allows me to better care for my family. When I've taken the time to do what I love to do, then I have more of myself to share with my children and husband.
2. When experiencing turbulence, buckle up.
Turbulence might be a fussy baby, a stubborn child, an argument with your husband, a failed date, a sick child, bad news from a friend - anything. The best safety belt is your faith. Strap it on and hold on. Find the time to pray, to read the Bible and let your children see you doing that so they will know they when life knocks you down, to fall to your knees and lift your voice to God.
3. All baggage must be stored in the overhead compartments.
Ah, baggage. The metaphor is so rich here. At the airports, they have that box that your carry-on luggage is dropped into to make sure it will fit in the storage compartments. How many bags to you carry? I don't mean literally. Go grab a piece of paper and a pen and write down everything you had to do today, all the things you wanted to do today, and then the things that you are worried about. On the back of that page, make a list of everything you are responsible for - mortgage or rent, bills, career, etc. Then make a list of everything you love. Go ahead, I'll wait.
Quite a list isn't it. That's baggage. As women, we carry that list around in our heads at all times. We worry. We manage. We direct. We fix. We stress. We love.
Beware! How many things on your list are just things? What would happen if you gave up half your list - not your responsibilities that keep your family safe and fed and sheltered, but the worries, the fluff, the to-do list? That's heavy baggage and will weigh down the plane.
Every day will have some bumps; some more than others. But a safe flight through parenting means we watch the weather (emotions) forecast and determine our destination carefully. We pack lightly and ask for a window seat so we can see the tops of the clouds and realize that even when we are tucked underneath a cloud-filled sky, somewhere just beyond the grey, there are peaks of clouds bathed in sun. When we are soaked from the rain that just doesn't seem to end, we can acknowledge that the entire world is not rainy and the warm, sunny weather will return. Soon.
On the Edge of Teenagerville
I feel that my career as a parent has taught me a great many things: dirt doesn't hurt, cuddle time is more important than timely dinners, and the smaller the child the more room they require.
I also know that I have so much more to learn. My oldest daughter will be 12 in six months, which brings our family to the brink of Teenagerville, a hilly town with beautifully twisting roads, and sunny weather, but plenty of dark alleys in which the roaming visitor can be quickly lost. This post is not about how to raise a child through teenagerhood - I don't have that knowledge yet. It's about coming to that "Welcome to Teenagerville" sign and realizing that your child will walk away from you as you enter this stage of life.
And that's actually a good thing if it's handled in a positive way.
Years ago I read an amazing essay which compared teenagers to the space program launching a satellite. First, great care is taken in forming the satellite, programming it with all the necessary information, guidelines, and code to be successful after liftoff. Next, trial runs are performed and the bugs are worked out. Scientists spend insane amounts of time working on the satellite in preparation for the big day, which draws ever closer with great anticipation. And then, when the big day arrives, the satellite is launched in a blazing ball of fire and thrown into orbit. For the next 8-10 years, communication between the satellite and scientist is sketchy, or sometimes non-existent, as the Scientist realizes that not every bug was worked out of the system and the interference of several other satellites prevents many messages from getting through. And just as the scientist believes that the satellite has been lost forever among all the space junk, it comes crashing home (where it may or may not be kept in the spare room in the basement).
While that description of adolescence is certainly accurate for many, I don't believe it needs to be considered the standard. As parents, it is our job to walk that fine line as our children break free from the shell of childhood and find their wings of adulthood; to, in essence, work diligently so that we are not needed when they reach their 20's but that they will want to be with us, standing side-by-side as independent adults.
While I can't foretell every problem that teens will experience and how parents should handle those situations, I do know that parents who pray have an edge over parents who don't. Even more, parents who pray with their families or within ear shot of their families have a greater advantage. It's not a race to the finish to see which parents come through unscathed, nor is this a magic formula that will guarantee protection for our families. Prayer is simply the energy of the Holy Spirit put to work within the moments of fear and desperation. Parents need to pray and children need to learn how to pray from their parents. If this concept of daily prayer is new to you, then I encourage you to find a mature Christian who has spent years praying and talk to them - ask him or her to act as a mentor for you as you learn how to walk this new walk.
Teenagerville might look like a scary place, especially as we consider our own memories of adolescence and the new troubles that face our children. But it's also a place we can't avoid. My children, in listening to the stories of the junior high students I taught, in seeing the unsupervised teens at the Mall or the movie theater, are now convinced that all teenagers are under a negative influence and more likely to sin than most people. And I believe they are correct. Teens crave independence, but lack the knowledge of life that would allow them to navigate their choices carefully. Teen pregnancy is at a high. Drug use is still an epidemic. Runaways, a lack of enough good teachers, a decline of positive parenting, and a move by the government to remove parental rights has truly injured the family at its core. These are not things which one person (a.k.a. a teacher or a religious leader) can take on single-handed. These are issues that will most likely always be issues, and therefore we must prepare our children to be a beam of light to the Father, the Son and the Holy Sprit for those who have not been taught that way of life.
I'm convinced, that if I pray daily, if I appeal to God for assistance for my children, if I work diligently to protect my children from the harmful effects of this society of ours, I can minimize the negativity of adolescence. I want them to experience the emotions of growing up. I believe that it's healthy and normal and necessary to feel the sting of rejection, to experience the stigma of being Catholic and learning how to defend the Faith. I learned valuable lessons when I was pushed and shoved and tried to turn the other cheek. I believe that who I am today is a result of making good choices and learning from the bad choices. I'm also incredibly thankful to my parents who worked to protect me from society, waiting until I was old enough to comprehend abstract ideas and the truth of cruelty. By providing a safe place for my children, in responding in love (not anger) toward my children when they disappoint me, I can open doors that will most likely save them.
I say all this as I look into the future, hoping that God's mercy will guide me. (That really means that I hope that I can remain true to my faith no matter what comes our way.) There is a great need for husbands and wives to stand strongly, hand-in-hand as their children become adults. It's vital to the survival of the family unit to have family friends whose values are enriched with scripture and traditions of the Faith. We are about to launch into a tornado of events and will require the Holy (Red) Cross to provide for us in moments of need. Stand Strong...no...kneel. Kneel in submission to God, just as Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane. We will emerge victorious if we remain true to God's Word.
I will be praying for you!
I also know that I have so much more to learn. My oldest daughter will be 12 in six months, which brings our family to the brink of Teenagerville, a hilly town with beautifully twisting roads, and sunny weather, but plenty of dark alleys in which the roaming visitor can be quickly lost. This post is not about how to raise a child through teenagerhood - I don't have that knowledge yet. It's about coming to that "Welcome to Teenagerville" sign and realizing that your child will walk away from you as you enter this stage of life.
And that's actually a good thing if it's handled in a positive way.
Years ago I read an amazing essay which compared teenagers to the space program launching a satellite. First, great care is taken in forming the satellite, programming it with all the necessary information, guidelines, and code to be successful after liftoff. Next, trial runs are performed and the bugs are worked out. Scientists spend insane amounts of time working on the satellite in preparation for the big day, which draws ever closer with great anticipation. And then, when the big day arrives, the satellite is launched in a blazing ball of fire and thrown into orbit. For the next 8-10 years, communication between the satellite and scientist is sketchy, or sometimes non-existent, as the Scientist realizes that not every bug was worked out of the system and the interference of several other satellites prevents many messages from getting through. And just as the scientist believes that the satellite has been lost forever among all the space junk, it comes crashing home (where it may or may not be kept in the spare room in the basement).
While that description of adolescence is certainly accurate for many, I don't believe it needs to be considered the standard. As parents, it is our job to walk that fine line as our children break free from the shell of childhood and find their wings of adulthood; to, in essence, work diligently so that we are not needed when they reach their 20's but that they will want to be with us, standing side-by-side as independent adults.
While I can't foretell every problem that teens will experience and how parents should handle those situations, I do know that parents who pray have an edge over parents who don't. Even more, parents who pray with their families or within ear shot of their families have a greater advantage. It's not a race to the finish to see which parents come through unscathed, nor is this a magic formula that will guarantee protection for our families. Prayer is simply the energy of the Holy Spirit put to work within the moments of fear and desperation. Parents need to pray and children need to learn how to pray from their parents. If this concept of daily prayer is new to you, then I encourage you to find a mature Christian who has spent years praying and talk to them - ask him or her to act as a mentor for you as you learn how to walk this new walk.
Teenagerville might look like a scary place, especially as we consider our own memories of adolescence and the new troubles that face our children. But it's also a place we can't avoid. My children, in listening to the stories of the junior high students I taught, in seeing the unsupervised teens at the Mall or the movie theater, are now convinced that all teenagers are under a negative influence and more likely to sin than most people. And I believe they are correct. Teens crave independence, but lack the knowledge of life that would allow them to navigate their choices carefully. Teen pregnancy is at a high. Drug use is still an epidemic. Runaways, a lack of enough good teachers, a decline of positive parenting, and a move by the government to remove parental rights has truly injured the family at its core. These are not things which one person (a.k.a. a teacher or a religious leader) can take on single-handed. These are issues that will most likely always be issues, and therefore we must prepare our children to be a beam of light to the Father, the Son and the Holy Sprit for those who have not been taught that way of life.
I'm convinced, that if I pray daily, if I appeal to God for assistance for my children, if I work diligently to protect my children from the harmful effects of this society of ours, I can minimize the negativity of adolescence. I want them to experience the emotions of growing up. I believe that it's healthy and normal and necessary to feel the sting of rejection, to experience the stigma of being Catholic and learning how to defend the Faith. I learned valuable lessons when I was pushed and shoved and tried to turn the other cheek. I believe that who I am today is a result of making good choices and learning from the bad choices. I'm also incredibly thankful to my parents who worked to protect me from society, waiting until I was old enough to comprehend abstract ideas and the truth of cruelty. By providing a safe place for my children, in responding in love (not anger) toward my children when they disappoint me, I can open doors that will most likely save them.
I say all this as I look into the future, hoping that God's mercy will guide me. (That really means that I hope that I can remain true to my faith no matter what comes our way.) There is a great need for husbands and wives to stand strongly, hand-in-hand as their children become adults. It's vital to the survival of the family unit to have family friends whose values are enriched with scripture and traditions of the Faith. We are about to launch into a tornado of events and will require the Holy (Red) Cross to provide for us in moments of need. Stand Strong...no...kneel. Kneel in submission to God, just as Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane. We will emerge victorious if we remain true to God's Word.
I will be praying for you!
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