I have often heard, “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.” Good advice. In order to understand the things that might (or designed to) take me away from God, I want to understand what’s out there – both good and bad. That means that sometimes, I need to read books that many Christians have deemed “demon material”. Many people don’t understand my reason for doing this, in fact, in just the last three years I’ve been scolded by a fellow homeschooling mom because of Harry Potter and told by another that I should burn them.
Are we really there? Burning books? Won’t that just add fuel to Satan’s plan? If we don’t read the books that might be risky, how can we teach our children to identify evil in real life?
I don’t believe that Harry Potter is evil. I don’t believe that J.K. Rowling wrote this series with any intent to expose the world to a level of magic that would cause people to turn away from the Christian faith and embrace witchcraft. I believe her intent was to share a great story with some serious Christian themes. If you’ve read the series, you know what I’m talking about: good vs. evil, resurrection, prodigal son, good Samaritan, evil snakes, dark spirits, and possession. All these elements are found in the bible too.
It all comes down to the intent in which the books are read. If children are allowed to read this series, or Philip Pullman’s Dark Materials trilogy, then a parent should read it along with them and discuss the implications. (Unlike the Harry Potter series, Philip Pullman wrote his books to pull teens away from Christianity.) These characters and their plots have become engrained in our society. As such, I want my children aware of the books, the characters and how they fit (or don’t fit) within the Catholic teachings.
I was teaching Junior High when Philip Pullman’s books were released. One of my students gave me the first book. I loved it. From a writer’s point of view, it was candy. My students read it too, and many of their parents joined us in the discussions after school. It wasn’t until after I read the third book that I realized the problem. In the book, God dies. Ridiculous, I know, but so is Philip Pullman. Shortly after the last book was released, I read an article in which the author declared himself an atheist and confirmed the rumors that the books were written to destroy young adults belief in God.
Yikes!
After a discussion with my students and their parents, the students came to their own conclusion: while the story is fantastic, there was a serious flaw in Pullman’s plot…if God truly is the creator of all, then to destroy Him is to destroy all living things.
Look at that! While given a book with evil intent, students who were encouraged to think for themselves didn’t turn away from God. They defeated the intent of the book and strengthened their own faith.
I do allow my children to read Harry Potter – but they do it with me. We discuss why magic is evil and why the author would use it as a focal point for the series. We discuss the strengths and the weaknesses of the characters. We go back to the bible and to the Catechism to see what the Church has to say about evil, magic, and leadership. We made charts that show comparisons between bible stories and the books.
The benefit? My children will know what the books reveal and know what the church has to say about it. They won’t fall victim to another person’s faulty interpretation because they will already have formed their own conclusions based on the Church’s teachings.
The enemy might lurk among banned books, but in reading them with the Church’s eye, we can acknowledge the good, reveal the bad, and protect ourselves from the intent of the Evil One.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Renewal in Christ – An Inventory of My Life
It’s not easy to maintain that ‘post-retreat’ high. Any time spent away from home, in the company of fellow Catholics, and devoted to prayer and renewal leaves a soul craving more and wanting to find ways to include that level of prayer on a daily basis. After my first retreat, I wondered how I had survived my life thus far. I realized the degree to which I had avoided God and run from His love. My greatest desire since my first retreat has been to know God better, to have an intimate relationship with Him.
And then I came home. There were children and dishes and places to go. The grocery shopping and meal planning devoured my time. I had sentenced myself to the life of a volunteer, hoping that in giving to others I would please God. As a homeschooling parent, I’m responsible for the education of my children in both an academic sense and in their spiritual growth as well. I’m a writer and need that solitary time to craft stories and write for this blog. I’m diabetic and must eat right and exercise to maintain healthy blood-sugar levels. All these things were necessary and good, but I knew I needed to streamline my life. If I truly wanted a closer relationship with God, I needed to spend more time with him.
After venting my frustrations to my husband, he helped me realize that I have bitten off way more than I can chew. It was time to simplify.
Together, we made a “Life Inventory”. It was a list of everything I was involved in and everything I need to do as a mother. And as every mother knows, there is no end to your task list. Motherhood begins the moment the blue line appears on the test and continues on non-stop until God calls you home.
My list was long:
Faith Growth
Homeschooling – planning and implementing lessons
Volunteering with Junior League
Bible Studies (3 of them)
Activities at church
Exercise (30-45 minutes a day)
Writing (ideally an hour a day, but more is better )
Time with the family
Meal planning, shopping, meal preparation
Household duties
Communication – phone calls, online time
All of these things felt necessary to me, but at the rate I was going one of two things would happen: 1) I would have to hire a secretary (which is obviously ridiculous) or 2) I would prayerfully ask God’s invention to cut things that were keeping me from him.
In the end (by that I mean more than two years later), I’m still working to keep my life simple. There are several bible studies I can do each season, so I try to pick just one at a time. Sometimes that means that my friends go on without me, and that’s emotionally difficult for me. I resigned from the Junior League – another link to friends lost, I thought, but my good friends understood why I had to do this and have continued to keep in contact with me. I divided the household chores among my older children and they have blossomed! They now understand how long it takes to do the dishes or vacuum the house and are more aware of how the little things they do can contribute to help.
Something that wasn’t on my list that I quickly realized was sucking up a great deal of time was T.V. I’ll write more on this in another post, but when I decided that I would no longer watch any T.V. programming, my schedule opened right up and I found an additional hour a day to write. Bonus!
No matter what I did with my schedule, however, I was not able to grow in my faith unless I started the day in prayer. Nothing else mattered. While I’m forever grateful for my simplified schedule and truly believe that doing less allows me to do more, a morning without prayer is a day without purpose.
Prayer is my mini-retreat, that jazzy, caffeine-like habit that pumps me up to charge through my day with my heart filled with God's love.
And then I came home. There were children and dishes and places to go. The grocery shopping and meal planning devoured my time. I had sentenced myself to the life of a volunteer, hoping that in giving to others I would please God. As a homeschooling parent, I’m responsible for the education of my children in both an academic sense and in their spiritual growth as well. I’m a writer and need that solitary time to craft stories and write for this blog. I’m diabetic and must eat right and exercise to maintain healthy blood-sugar levels. All these things were necessary and good, but I knew I needed to streamline my life. If I truly wanted a closer relationship with God, I needed to spend more time with him.
After venting my frustrations to my husband, he helped me realize that I have bitten off way more than I can chew. It was time to simplify.
Together, we made a “Life Inventory”. It was a list of everything I was involved in and everything I need to do as a mother. And as every mother knows, there is no end to your task list. Motherhood begins the moment the blue line appears on the test and continues on non-stop until God calls you home.
My list was long:
Faith Growth
Homeschooling – planning and implementing lessons
Volunteering with Junior League
Bible Studies (3 of them)
Activities at church
Exercise (30-45 minutes a day)
Writing (ideally an hour a day, but more is better )
Time with the family
Meal planning, shopping, meal preparation
Household duties
Communication – phone calls, online time
All of these things felt necessary to me, but at the rate I was going one of two things would happen: 1) I would have to hire a secretary (which is obviously ridiculous) or 2) I would prayerfully ask God’s invention to cut things that were keeping me from him.
In the end (by that I mean more than two years later), I’m still working to keep my life simple. There are several bible studies I can do each season, so I try to pick just one at a time. Sometimes that means that my friends go on without me, and that’s emotionally difficult for me. I resigned from the Junior League – another link to friends lost, I thought, but my good friends understood why I had to do this and have continued to keep in contact with me. I divided the household chores among my older children and they have blossomed! They now understand how long it takes to do the dishes or vacuum the house and are more aware of how the little things they do can contribute to help.
Something that wasn’t on my list that I quickly realized was sucking up a great deal of time was T.V. I’ll write more on this in another post, but when I decided that I would no longer watch any T.V. programming, my schedule opened right up and I found an additional hour a day to write. Bonus!
No matter what I did with my schedule, however, I was not able to grow in my faith unless I started the day in prayer. Nothing else mattered. While I’m forever grateful for my simplified schedule and truly believe that doing less allows me to do more, a morning without prayer is a day without purpose.
Prayer is my mini-retreat, that jazzy, caffeine-like habit that pumps me up to charge through my day with my heart filled with God's love.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Punched in the Gut by Truth
You’ve had that feeling, I’m sure, that realization of an error you’ve made and how it’s affected those around you; that emotional, gut-gripping reaction that happens within our minds and becomes so strong that our reaction can be very physical.
This happened to me and my husband this weekend at a Michigan Catholic Homeschoolers conference. The first speaker on Friday night shared the truth behind what is going on in our very own White House. To sum up, it’s no longer OUR White House. The management of this country take their offices very seriously and are working toward an agenda that does not include God, nor the Constitution.
Probably not a surprise to you, is it? Our government is trying to take away our rights under the guise of “protecting us from ourselves”. I say NO THANK YOU! I know that human governments are faulty because the humans are sinful. I know and accept that. I also accept that my life may be more difficult (sometimes downright impossible) than others who are more affluent or educated. That is not something new, beloved. Since the beginning of time, there have been the rich, the poor, and those who live in reasonable comfort. It’s true that we would all prefer to be comfortable, but that doesn’t lessen the value of poverty. Those in poverty can still have an intensely spiritual life. Those who are comfortable can experience that same intensity in our charitable giving and prayer for the poor. The only law we need to follow is God’s law; it’s right there in the bible – those who follow God’s Law will be rewarded. Perhaps the reward is not a check, a new car, or the cure for cancer, but it is a promise for eternal life with Him. That’s more than anything we can ask for in this lifetime.
The real kicker at the conference was the fact that the Treaty for Child Protection, which has been fully accepted in the UN, and which the United States has signed (Clinton’s deed) but has not yet ratified, does indeed protect children from crimes of trafficking and physical abuse. It also opens the door for our government to determine what a child should learn and when they should learn it. That means that private schools and homeschoolers will be under the thumb of the federal government, unable to teach our children what we know is true and good. That means that our Judicial Branch will enforce parents to do what they believe is right; and they believe in public education, a place where God is not allowed. The scariest part of all this is that Christian Values will not be considered as guidelines to how they rule in such cases. For more on this, go to www.parentalright.org – the Treaty is there for you to read, as well as dozens of essays and articles on this topic.
The final clincher was the speaker that shared a comparison between pre-WWII Germany and our countries current political actions. My dear, they are identical! We are heading down that same path: Socialistic ideals, health care reform, a public overly concerned with animal rights (euthanizing animals) instead of human rights (abortion), gun control (losing the freedom to defend ourselves), a lack of teaching history of our ancestors (I’m sorry, but Black American History month is not enough!) and a government who blatantly ignores the constitution in their governing (big brother?).
I don’t know what to do about these things, how to become involved, where to go to hold up a picket sign and peacefully protest. But I can pray. And I encourage you to do the same. Prayer is more powerful than any picket sign – it’s conversation with God – and who can be greater than He? Instead of allowing the truth of where our country seems to be heading to punch me in the gut, I'm turning to God, who doesn't just punch, but lays waste to entire empires. Who can stand against Him?
Lord, I pray for this country and the giant vacuum of sin into which we have fallen. With the movies glorifying sin, storefronts advertising sex through the sale of clothing, and school systems that teach sex education (the 'how-to' and not abstinence) and not Your Laws, we are on a slide to doom. Lord, I ask you to instill in Your people a new fire, a new understanding of all Your teachings. Protect those who love you, guide us to do what you will. And I ask all the angels and saints to pray for us, to You, Lord. I pray all this in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.
This happened to me and my husband this weekend at a Michigan Catholic Homeschoolers conference. The first speaker on Friday night shared the truth behind what is going on in our very own White House. To sum up, it’s no longer OUR White House. The management of this country take their offices very seriously and are working toward an agenda that does not include God, nor the Constitution.
Probably not a surprise to you, is it? Our government is trying to take away our rights under the guise of “protecting us from ourselves”. I say NO THANK YOU! I know that human governments are faulty because the humans are sinful. I know and accept that. I also accept that my life may be more difficult (sometimes downright impossible) than others who are more affluent or educated. That is not something new, beloved. Since the beginning of time, there have been the rich, the poor, and those who live in reasonable comfort. It’s true that we would all prefer to be comfortable, but that doesn’t lessen the value of poverty. Those in poverty can still have an intensely spiritual life. Those who are comfortable can experience that same intensity in our charitable giving and prayer for the poor. The only law we need to follow is God’s law; it’s right there in the bible – those who follow God’s Law will be rewarded. Perhaps the reward is not a check, a new car, or the cure for cancer, but it is a promise for eternal life with Him. That’s more than anything we can ask for in this lifetime.
The real kicker at the conference was the fact that the Treaty for Child Protection, which has been fully accepted in the UN, and which the United States has signed (Clinton’s deed) but has not yet ratified, does indeed protect children from crimes of trafficking and physical abuse. It also opens the door for our government to determine what a child should learn and when they should learn it. That means that private schools and homeschoolers will be under the thumb of the federal government, unable to teach our children what we know is true and good. That means that our Judicial Branch will enforce parents to do what they believe is right; and they believe in public education, a place where God is not allowed. The scariest part of all this is that Christian Values will not be considered as guidelines to how they rule in such cases. For more on this, go to www.parentalright.org – the Treaty is there for you to read, as well as dozens of essays and articles on this topic.
The final clincher was the speaker that shared a comparison between pre-WWII Germany and our countries current political actions. My dear, they are identical! We are heading down that same path: Socialistic ideals, health care reform, a public overly concerned with animal rights (euthanizing animals) instead of human rights (abortion), gun control (losing the freedom to defend ourselves), a lack of teaching history of our ancestors (I’m sorry, but Black American History month is not enough!) and a government who blatantly ignores the constitution in their governing (big brother?).
I don’t know what to do about these things, how to become involved, where to go to hold up a picket sign and peacefully protest. But I can pray. And I encourage you to do the same. Prayer is more powerful than any picket sign – it’s conversation with God – and who can be greater than He? Instead of allowing the truth of where our country seems to be heading to punch me in the gut, I'm turning to God, who doesn't just punch, but lays waste to entire empires. Who can stand against Him?
Lord, I pray for this country and the giant vacuum of sin into which we have fallen. With the movies glorifying sin, storefronts advertising sex through the sale of clothing, and school systems that teach sex education (the 'how-to' and not abstinence) and not Your Laws, we are on a slide to doom. Lord, I ask you to instill in Your people a new fire, a new understanding of all Your teachings. Protect those who love you, guide us to do what you will. And I ask all the angels and saints to pray for us, to You, Lord. I pray all this in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Snail Shells and Sandy Paths
This weekend, we camped for five days – our first trip of the season. It was without a doubt, our best camping trip. The girls are older and able to do many things for themselves. We stayed longer than we usually do, allowing ourselves more time to relax and appreciate the campground and all it had to offer. We spent time together and gave each other permission to go off and find some solitary moments.
One moment in particular struck me as profound. It occurred along the beach as Emma and I wandered along, looking for shells. We camped in Michigan at Higgins Lake State Park, so we were not looking for exotic sea shells, just little, abandoned snail shells and tiny clams. To our left was the lawn that leads to the water. With our bare feet, we couldn’t easily walk there; the pokey grassy and sharp pebbles were too much for our tender feet. To the right was the water; incredibly cold after a storm the day before. This left us with the narrow strip of beach where the sand was slightly warm from the sun and soft under our tender soles.
I glanced at the sand and saw the path of footprints Emma left. Her feet were bigger than I realized and walking away from me. Her steps were shallow from her light frame and wandering as she searched for the little hidden treasures.
I began to think that perhaps God looks at my foot prints in a much more profound way. He knows where I will go in my life and most likely shakes his head and laughs (or sighs in exasperation) at my wanderings. He notices that my steps are light some days, and on days that I try to carry more than my share of troubles, my impressions in the sand are deeper. He smiles at us as we walk that narrow path, staying out of the prickly lawns of sin and the cold waters of temptation.
In a nut shell (or should I say snail shell?) I believe that I notice more of God’s grace and understanding after having spent some much more time in His Word and at Mass over the past year. And who wouldn’t?
One moment in particular struck me as profound. It occurred along the beach as Emma and I wandered along, looking for shells. We camped in Michigan at Higgins Lake State Park, so we were not looking for exotic sea shells, just little, abandoned snail shells and tiny clams. To our left was the lawn that leads to the water. With our bare feet, we couldn’t easily walk there; the pokey grassy and sharp pebbles were too much for our tender feet. To the right was the water; incredibly cold after a storm the day before. This left us with the narrow strip of beach where the sand was slightly warm from the sun and soft under our tender soles.
I glanced at the sand and saw the path of footprints Emma left. Her feet were bigger than I realized and walking away from me. Her steps were shallow from her light frame and wandering as she searched for the little hidden treasures.
I began to think that perhaps God looks at my foot prints in a much more profound way. He knows where I will go in my life and most likely shakes his head and laughs (or sighs in exasperation) at my wanderings. He notices that my steps are light some days, and on days that I try to carry more than my share of troubles, my impressions in the sand are deeper. He smiles at us as we walk that narrow path, staying out of the prickly lawns of sin and the cold waters of temptation.
In a nut shell (or should I say snail shell?) I believe that I notice more of God’s grace and understanding after having spent some much more time in His Word and at Mass over the past year. And who wouldn’t?
Friday, May 21, 2010
Lessons from my Children
There have been many surprises in my life - misconceptions about what I thought my adult life would be compared to how I've actually turned out. I always thought I would marry a wealthy man, but I married a man I love instead. I thought I would be a wordly travler, taking my children to see England and Italy, and be a regular at some resort on a little island. Instead, I am a Michigan guard; we are never very far from home. There has been one aspect of my life that is a complete surprise and every time it happens, I'm astounded: I'm actually learning from my children.
I've taught them how to make their beds, to write thank you notes, to read and write. Some things they've just naturally learned on their own: how to walk, talk, love, smile, and listen.
While I'm sharing little tid bits of information with them (using nice words, making good use of their time, always flushing the toilet) they listen. And when I'm talking to someone else about weekend plans, or sharing concerns with my sister about a reoccuring cough, they listen. They've seen my reactions to bad news and how I smile when they do a job well. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, they know to stay out of my way and pick up their toys. During afternoons we each retreat to our own corners and have some quiet time to read, draw, or write. I praise them for these wonderful behaviors.
And they are starting to praise me.
Last week when the house broke out with a severe case of clutter-itis, I switched into my mad-hatter cleaning mode. On a dry-erase board I wrote down everything that needed to be done and put names next to each item. When we had each finished our assigned chores, we would celebrate with a visit to the playground.
The house was cleaned in record time, I didn't yell at anyone, and the girls actually sang songs while they cleaned. There were a few things out of place and the bathroom wasn't cleaned quite how I do it, but my second daughter spent time organizing the linen closet. On the way to the playground, my oldest daughter (who is now tall enough to sit in the front seat) patted my arm and gave me a wink. "This was a good idea, Mom. Everybody learned something today."
I was flustered. What had I learned? Why did my daughter know more than I?
"What did you learn?" I asked.
"I learned that I do best when I know exactly what you need me to do to help you."
Wow.
That means in the past I've expected my children to just read my mind and know what I needed done. (My husband has confirmed that this is true).
What did I learn that day? Communication is key - whether in the form of a to-do list, a smile, or a pat on the arm, we all need to know what is going on in the mind's of those we love. I also learned that working together as a family doesn't mean that everything is done according to my expectations, but that everyone has a role to play and feels a part of the team.
And I learned all that (again) from my daughter. That and playgrounds can be better than any trip to Europe.
Go team Schaub!
I've taught them how to make their beds, to write thank you notes, to read and write. Some things they've just naturally learned on their own: how to walk, talk, love, smile, and listen.
While I'm sharing little tid bits of information with them (using nice words, making good use of their time, always flushing the toilet) they listen. And when I'm talking to someone else about weekend plans, or sharing concerns with my sister about a reoccuring cough, they listen. They've seen my reactions to bad news and how I smile when they do a job well. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, they know to stay out of my way and pick up their toys. During afternoons we each retreat to our own corners and have some quiet time to read, draw, or write. I praise them for these wonderful behaviors.
And they are starting to praise me.
Last week when the house broke out with a severe case of clutter-itis, I switched into my mad-hatter cleaning mode. On a dry-erase board I wrote down everything that needed to be done and put names next to each item. When we had each finished our assigned chores, we would celebrate with a visit to the playground.
The house was cleaned in record time, I didn't yell at anyone, and the girls actually sang songs while they cleaned. There were a few things out of place and the bathroom wasn't cleaned quite how I do it, but my second daughter spent time organizing the linen closet. On the way to the playground, my oldest daughter (who is now tall enough to sit in the front seat) patted my arm and gave me a wink. "This was a good idea, Mom. Everybody learned something today."
I was flustered. What had I learned? Why did my daughter know more than I?
"What did you learn?" I asked.
"I learned that I do best when I know exactly what you need me to do to help you."
Wow.
That means in the past I've expected my children to just read my mind and know what I needed done. (My husband has confirmed that this is true).
What did I learn that day? Communication is key - whether in the form of a to-do list, a smile, or a pat on the arm, we all need to know what is going on in the mind's of those we love. I also learned that working together as a family doesn't mean that everything is done according to my expectations, but that everyone has a role to play and feels a part of the team.
And I learned all that (again) from my daughter. That and playgrounds can be better than any trip to Europe.
Go team Schaub!
Friday, May 14, 2010
Novena to the Holy Spirit
Nine days until Pentecost. I encourage you to find the Novena to the Holy Spirit and join the Catholic world in praying this divine prayer.
Why?
The Holy Spirit is the third person of the trinity and the gift Jesus delivered to his Apostles after his ascension. The Holy Spirit is our earthly guide, our inspiration to follow God's plan and to accept Jesus' sacrifice toward salvation. The Holy Spirit brings us the gifts of Wisdom, Understanding, Counsel, Fortitude, Knowledge, Piety, and Fear of the Lord. In meditating on these gifts, in prayfully approaching the Holy Spirit and welcoming Him into our lives, we gain these graces and in turn begin (or continue) to live our lives in alighnment with God's Holy plan.
I pray for you today to open your heart in preparation for the celebration of Pentecost, the day our Lord sent us His Spirit to guide us home to Him.
Why?
The Holy Spirit is the third person of the trinity and the gift Jesus delivered to his Apostles after his ascension. The Holy Spirit is our earthly guide, our inspiration to follow God's plan and to accept Jesus' sacrifice toward salvation. The Holy Spirit brings us the gifts of Wisdom, Understanding, Counsel, Fortitude, Knowledge, Piety, and Fear of the Lord. In meditating on these gifts, in prayfully approaching the Holy Spirit and welcoming Him into our lives, we gain these graces and in turn begin (or continue) to live our lives in alighnment with God's Holy plan.
I pray for you today to open your heart in preparation for the celebration of Pentecost, the day our Lord sent us His Spirit to guide us home to Him.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Shame turns to Salvation
I was plagued with shame. Like flies on dung, shame hovered above and around me, flying in my face and ringing in my ears. It was the sound of demons whispering terrors, the feel of Hell's flames licking my heels, the darkness of eternal life away from God that chills my bones.
So many people don't understand what abortion means to those of us who chose it. It doesn't mean that we support it and it certainly doesn't mean that we are OK with our choice. It means we have committed a mortal sin and must now bear that scar on our hearts for the rest of our days.
Talk of the horrors of abortion are true - it's a horrible thing, a despicable choice, a criminal act - but the women who have had abortions are not those things. We were under the control of fear and shame. We were sold lies - untruths about what an embryo is, lies about the long-term effects, fiction about the sanctity of life. Because of fear, we sought a way out - just like everyone does in times of trouble. Unfortunately for us, we were missing Jesus in our lives and so Satan strode in, consoled us and sold us.
But he's done something else too - he's made me angry! Satan hid the truth in his darkness until it was too late. Satan has an enemy in me.
I wasn't sure at first if anyone - man or God - would still love me, could still love me. Then I met Peter, Jesus' closest disciple who denied even knowing Jesus not once, but three times. I met Mary Magdalene who was a sinner and yet was rescued by Jesus. I met Saul, whom after meeting the Resurrected Jesus, received much a transformation that everything about him changed - his heart, his vision, his mission and even his name. Saul the Persecuter became Paul the Saint and author of a good portion of the New Testament.The salvation that Jesus promised? That freedom from sin He purchased with His blood on the cross - He did that for me. Jesus knew I would sin. He knew fear would grip me so tightly I would crumble under the pressure. Even though He knew that I would spit in the face of Creation by not understanding what gift He had given me, He still went to the cross. He still loved me.
I am not alone in my sin. I'm not alone in my salvation either. Jesus purchased my soul for me. I have the reciept - it's the tug at my heart when I confess. It's the passion I feel when I'm at Mass and Fr. Mike breaks the bread. It's the deep understanding I have that those who believe in Jesus will not perish, but find everlasting life. (Jn. 3:16)
I know I have been forgiven. Jesus told me so. So I renounce you Shame! Go back to Hell and take Fear with you!
So many people don't understand what abortion means to those of us who chose it. It doesn't mean that we support it and it certainly doesn't mean that we are OK with our choice. It means we have committed a mortal sin and must now bear that scar on our hearts for the rest of our days.
Talk of the horrors of abortion are true - it's a horrible thing, a despicable choice, a criminal act - but the women who have had abortions are not those things. We were under the control of fear and shame. We were sold lies - untruths about what an embryo is, lies about the long-term effects, fiction about the sanctity of life. Because of fear, we sought a way out - just like everyone does in times of trouble. Unfortunately for us, we were missing Jesus in our lives and so Satan strode in, consoled us and sold us.
But he's done something else too - he's made me angry! Satan hid the truth in his darkness until it was too late. Satan has an enemy in me.
I wasn't sure at first if anyone - man or God - would still love me, could still love me. Then I met Peter, Jesus' closest disciple who denied even knowing Jesus not once, but three times. I met Mary Magdalene who was a sinner and yet was rescued by Jesus. I met Saul, whom after meeting the Resurrected Jesus, received much a transformation that everything about him changed - his heart, his vision, his mission and even his name. Saul the Persecuter became Paul the Saint and author of a good portion of the New Testament.The salvation that Jesus promised? That freedom from sin He purchased with His blood on the cross - He did that for me. Jesus knew I would sin. He knew fear would grip me so tightly I would crumble under the pressure. Even though He knew that I would spit in the face of Creation by not understanding what gift He had given me, He still went to the cross. He still loved me.
I am not alone in my sin. I'm not alone in my salvation either. Jesus purchased my soul for me. I have the reciept - it's the tug at my heart when I confess. It's the passion I feel when I'm at Mass and Fr. Mike breaks the bread. It's the deep understanding I have that those who believe in Jesus will not perish, but find everlasting life. (Jn. 3:16)
I know I have been forgiven. Jesus told me so. So I renounce you Shame! Go back to Hell and take Fear with you!
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