Stations of the Cross, A prayer

First Station: Jesus is condemned to death
Lord, as you stood before Pilate, accused of false crimes, you said nothing. You trusted in your Father to conduct His will through you.
“But I say to you, offer no resistance to one who is evil. When someone strikes you on [your] right cheek, turn the other one to him as well.” Matthew 5:39
In that trust, you saved the world. How many times have I made situations worse by trying to defend myself? How many times have I accused people of wrongdoings and have been incorrect? And does it matter if I’m right or wrong? Why do I think that my judgment would mean anything? I beg for forgiveness for the times I have been in the crowd ready to throw a stone. I beg for strength to stand tall in my virtues despite what is being whispered about me. Lord, I want to be like you.

Second Station: Jesus carries His cross
Your burden, your cross was more than just the wood you carried up the hill; it was the sins of an entire world, the sins of the very people for whom you died. The soldiers pierced your skin with thorns, with nails, with a sword. Our sins pierced your very heart. When will we learn our lesson? When will we stop sinning against you whom we should love above all others? My sins pierce your heart. Please forgive me for my weaknesses, for my crimes. If I keep you in my heart and mind at all times, I will sin less. My heart is filled with gratitude for your sacrifice. Bless all of the martyrs who have suffered the same fate and have been born into a life with you in heaven. Lord, bless my actions, bless my words, and bless me when I sin. Lord, I want to be like you.

Third Station: Jesus falls the first time
You stumbled from exhaustion and fell, the weight of the cross hurting you more. I imagine that those watching you struggle cringed at the sight. Lord, so many people are struggling under the weight of their own crosses. Help me to help them; fill my mind with your words of encouragement. And when I stumble, I will turn to you for my strength. When I suffer, I will suffer for you. I give you all my burdens Lord, that they may help me to appreciate and understand the cross you carried. Lord, I want to be like you.

Fourth Station: Jesus meets his mother
Oh, the sorrows of a mother watching her Son suffer.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:44
When my own children cry, I want to cry too. When they fall, my skin burns with pain too. Mary, how did you manage to watch your Son die for all our sins? How did you keep quiet and allow your Son to do the will of the Father. How did you walk among those who were killing him and not lash out? Oh, that I would have that same strength; to give my children the space they need to fulfill God’s will for them. Mary, you always followed God’s plan for you and then for your Son. Your reward was heaven. Mary, pray for me in my own struggles. Bring my pain to God. Mary, I want to be like you; holy and compassionate; obedient and prayerful.

Fifth Station: Simon of Cyrene helps Jesus to carry his cross
Finally, some help for you, Lord Jesus. Finally, the soldiers give you a little rest. But was it out of kindness?
No.
It was their eagerness to reach the top of that hill that caused them to have someone else to carry your cross.
Why didn’t one of the soldiers do it for you?
They wouldn’t lower themselves to you.
But what a mistake! To think that helping you – or anyone – would be a bend in our back, a lowering of our station. Lord, take away my pride that my acts of kindness are compassion filled. More so, when I am in need of help, of charity, take away my pride that I might accept the help from others who do so in your name. Lord, charity and compassion were lessons from you. Lord, I want to be like you.

Sixth Station: Veronica wipes the face of Jesus
Veronica is such a brave woman! She saw your suffering, she saw your need. Despite the soldiers, she came to you and offered you comfort and wiped your face dry of sweat and blood.
“Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” Matthew 5:7
Lord, give me courage to do the same with those people in my life who are in need. Help my eyes see when people are in pain and give my prayers the words to wipe their brows dry of the pain of suffering. I want to be brave for you, Jesus. Take away my fears of other people’s criticisms and replace that with courage – courage to do the right thing, courage to comfort you and those you love. Lord, I want to be like Veronica.

Seventh Station: Jesus falls the second time
How many times have I fallen under the same sin? How many times will I trip over my pride…my sorrow…my weakness? Thanks to you, Lord Jesus, I can get up each time and ask forgiveness. For you paved our lives in the blood of your sacrifice and marked a narrow path to salvation. That I may balance on that path and reach for your steady hand when I fall; then I too may find my eternal soul in your presence when my earthly pilgrimage is complete.
Lord, I know I will fall, I know I have fallen short of your glory. But in those falls, I pray that I will renew my resolve to follow you. You told us that Your forgiveness knows no bounds; I trust you in that. Lord, let me have strength to go on even in the face of death.

Eighth Station: Jesus meets the women of Jerusalem
The women came to you in grief for what was being done to you. In your everlasting compassion, you asked them to not weep for you, but for their children. How selfless! How loving that you would set aside your own extreme pains and direct these women to pray for their children.
Lord, guide me on this path to prayer for others and not just for myself. Help me to see the needs of other people and give me the courage and the strength to follow through in that help. Lord, let not my afflictions hinder my prayer for others; like you, I want to have perfect prayers.

Ninth Station: Jesus falls a third time
My goodness! How many times must I sin before I understand what this does to you? My sins hurt you like the thorns on your head. My sins erase the goodness of your sacrifice. Lord, I’m so sorry for my sins. I pray that I will keep you in my heart and mind at all times, for when you are with me Lord, I don’t sin. When you are with me – and I see you – I don’t sin. It is my own distractions, my own busy-ness, that pushes you out of my mind. Lord, I pray that I can keep my eyes, my heart, my mind, my soul focused on you.

Tenth Station: Jesus clothes are taken away
This act, the soldiers tearing away your clothing makes me so angry!
“Do not give what is holy to dogs, or throw your pearls before the swine, lest they trample them underfoot, and turn and tear you to pieces.” Matthew 7:6
But that is exactly what they did – You, our heavenly pearl, was ripped to shreds. Your skin had been cut with the flogging and your blood had dried to your clothes. When they took away your clothing, they opened all those wounds again. Your blood flowed freely once more. How many times must they cause you pain?
But I do it too, don’t I, Lord? I re-open things that have been forgiven. I use words that scar your skin. I tear off other people’s “clothing” and get right down to the bloody issues that make them bleed. Lord, I don’t want to be that person. Keep my curiosity away so my questions don’t make others bleed. Help me to keep my expressions pure and holy so no one may misunderstand my face – or worse, see my face and know that I am judging them!
Maybe my prayer should be to be stripped of the clothes that bind me to the earth. The possessions I have, should they be taken away from me, would that make me bleed? I have nothing in this world so important to me as my soul and Your love. Even my children, the beautiful blessings that they are, are nothing in this world. It is the next world for which I am trying to live. Strip me of my earthly possessions and see if I bleed. If I do, then I am not worthy of this life. Lord, I want to be like Job, in love with You no matter what this life deals me.
“Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 10:37

Eleventh Station: Jesus is nailed to the cross
The pain! The stabbing pain and the fear! When will the pounding end? When will these people understand that every drop of blood comes at a great price? Lord, Your suffering is beyond my comprehension! Even my worst pain, my worst headache, the labor of giving birth was nothing compared to Your sufferings; for all my suffering has ended with a peace, a freedom of pain, a child. Your suffering ended with death and hell.
Lord, I offer you all my suffering for Your glory. May my pain bring me closer to you.

Twelfth Station: Jesus dies on the cross
Blackness covered the earth the moment you died. Your followers believed that everything was at an end. You had told them that you would die and be raised, but they didn’t understand. Oh, the sorrow of that moment. The earth shook. The temple veil was torn. All these things happened, but no one understood them until later.
How many times has my life seemed to end with a tragedy? I can see all the pieces of sorrow, but I am unable to link them together into a tapestry of joy until much later. Lord, help me to focus on finding the joy. And in that, allow me to welcome the pain of sorrow, so that the joy may feel more complete. Lord, when all seems lost, let me remember You and Your promise to make all things good in God.

Thirteenth Station: The body of Jesus is taken down from the cross
With such tenderness they brought you down, the empty shell of your body. Your mother, Mary, how she must have held you and wept! Was there anything to console her? Did she try to hide her anguish?
Lord, in our day, we have many ways to cover up sad feelings. Our society is afraid to feel anything but happiness and contentment. What are we missing? Why do we feel that feeling discomfort and grief are bad?
Lord, I want to rid my life of all the drugs, the band-aids, the pain-relievers that keep me from feeling every emotion God has given mankind. I ask for bravery, that I may endure these emotions and understand what it means to feel, to be alive, to suffer and then to resurrect the feelings of joy, peace, and happiness.

Fourteenth Station: Jesus is laid in the tomb
All things must come to an end; so true for good and evil. Your ministry ended when they killed you. All who loved you thought their mission was a failure. I have felt this way too. All the good things I can do must someday come to an end. And what can I leave behind? Change can be a good thing, but right now, in this country, change is very frightening.
Lord, give us endurance when the boulder of the tomb traps us inside. Turn our hearts to You, to prayer, to fasting and almsgiving. This season of Lent is our annual desert that ends – temporarily in a tomb. Your followers didn’t know that the tomb would be wrenched open, just as we don’t understand that God the Father can make all “ends” into new beginnings. Lord, as we grieve our losses, I pray that you will stand next to us, pointing the way to the angels who declare the goodness of the Lord, the way to everlasting life. Every life must have a desert. But every life can end in the radiance of Your light, if we follow you.


“Blessed are your eyes, because they see, and your ears, because they hear. Amen, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.” Matthew 13:16-17

Another Retreat

Today marks the end of another retreat weekend. It's such an honor to be a part of this program, to be a friend with these women, to have an active role in renewing the spiritual lives of other women.

I'm always amazed at the women who come to the retreats - they have come for a specific reason, whether to strengthed their faith, to meet new women in the church, or just to escape their home for a day and a half! Whatever the reason, God puts them together and feeds them in His Word by encouraging the team members to share their lives. The women that look so plain at the beginning of the retreat shine with extraordinary light by the end.

My note to the retreatants:

Ladies, I am so thankful that God brought you to the retreat. Whatever you expected from this weekend, I'm sure you are overwhelmed by the results. I'd like to encourage you - whether you feel filled with the Holy Spirit or completely overwhelmed and in need of a nap (or both!) please go to the next meeting - the reunion, the Evening of Discernment - and share your thoughts. That evening will help you sort through your experience. It will give you time to talk with any of the witness-ers and seek their help and prayer. Prayerfully consider joining the team to help other women have a similarly wonderful experience in the fall. This weekend, as powerful as it was, is nothing compared to the formation process available to you over the next 5-6 months. Trust in God! He never disappoints!

Lord, I lift these ladies up to You. Encourage them with joyful hearts and thankful spirits to continue on this path. You have so much to offer, so much to share with them. Let them see that this first step can lead to a life they never thought possible. Lord, bless them with peaceful sleep tonight and protect them as they re-enter the reality of every day life. Keep this feeling alive in them for days and weeks to come. Bless them, Lord, in all the ways You can. I pray this in the divine name of Your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Big Changes

Politically speaking, today marks the end of our Democratic Nation. With our new President having campaigned for 'Change', the American people better buckle up for what that actually means.

This kind of change is not what we need. This kind of change marks the beginning of unrest and potentially a revolution. How is it that our country will now demand that what I earn must be shared with those who don't earn as much? I spent years in college, working up to three jobs, sweating, studying, and earning my diploma so that I could afford to raise my family. Now my money will be used for those who skipped the college experience and are waiting for someone to come along and rescue them. Worse yet, my money has already supported neighbors who over-spent thier income and have lost their jobs. Our country teaches gluttony - look at our deficit! Borrowing money destroys families, it will destroy our country too - is that the change our nation really wanted?

We've seen this before - with the people from Hurrican Katrina who sat on their roofs and waited to be rescued. They didn't leave their homes - that's never easy - but the outcome of not heeding the warning killed many people and put the rescuers at risk. The crimes, the hatred, the vandalism that stemmed from that hurricane was a warning of what was to come.

We must stand up for ourselves and demand that what we earn is ours. My husband and I own our own business and purchase our own health care. Not cheap, but we do it. We have given up many possible purchases to keep in line with what God has directed; keeping our lives simple and our tithing in step.

But, Jesus told the Pharases to give to God what belongs to God and to Cesear what belongs to Cesear. So, my failing government, you can take my money, you might even take my home someday. Nothing on this earth matters to me except my faith. I strive to walk in the footsteps of my Savior. Whose footsteps do you walk in? Your own? You'll soon find that carving your own path leads to certain death - a death not by the hands of man, but by the ultimate failings of the works of man. Your failures may not be known in this life time, but when you cross from this life to the next, you'll see what you have missed. Enjoy your eternity in Hell. For that is the destination for a Socialistic Nation.

Our Christian faith tells us to care for one another - it doesn't tell us to rob the prodigal son and redistribute his rightful inheritance among the slaves.

Renewing our faith is more important than ever. We are losing our nation and we are at risk of losing our right to practice our faith. It may not be on the chopping block yet, but just look at what has happened in the last year and tell me that it isn't possible.

Lord, You are Holy and Awesome and I love you with all my heart and soul. I beg of you to protect this country from the evil ones who hold office, who are plagued with greed. Only You can change their hearts. If it is Your will, Lord, change their hearts. Give our political parties the courage to do what is right in Your sight. And if our country should fail, I ask for your endulgences; protect me and my family and those, who like me, fear these changes. We put all we have in your hands, Lord. Save us.
I pray this in the Name of Your Divine Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Signs

Years ago, my sister-in-law gave me this quote:

May those who love us, love us,
And those who hate us, may God turn their hearts,
And if He doesn't turn their hearts,
May He turn thier ankles,
So we'll know them by their limping.

And while I usually think that I would be the one to see the turned ankles on others, I now wonder how many times my ankles should have been turned?

You Know the Type

We've all encountered 'that woman' who knows everything and isn't afraid to share her wealth of knowledge with the rest of the world. Sometimes our friend is 'that woman' and we are given an opportunity to love our friend and all her faults. Other times 'that woman' is someone we already don't like, so it's very easy to ignore her. Other times, 'that woman' is that lady in the mirror.

Lord, when I am 'that woman' please fill my mouth with cotton so I don't say anything that will betray my love for you. Amen!

Personal Culture

As a former teacher, I'm well aware of the term "Multi-cultural"; a term that indicates that all classroom activites, and by extention, all of life, needs to include an appreciative form of all cultures. And while this is a lovely concept, it's ridiculous.

All cultures?

What is culture?

Broadly defined, according to http://dictionary.reference.com, culture is:

–noun
1.the quality in a person or society that arises from a concern for what is regarded as excellent in arts, letters, manners, scholarly pursuits, etc.
2.that which is excellent in the arts, manners, etc.
3.a particular form or stage of civilization, as that of a certain nation or period: Greek culture.
4.development or improvement of the mind by education or training.
5.the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group: the youth culture; the drug culture.
6.Anthropology. the sum total of ways of living built up by a group of human beings and transmitted from one generation to another.
7.Biology.
a.the cultivation of microorganisms, as bacteria, or of tissues, for scientific study, medicinal use, etc.
b.the product or growth resulting from such cultivation.
8.the act or practice of cultivating the soil; tillage.
9.the raising of plants or animals, esp. with a view to their improvement.
10.the product or growth resulting from such cultivation.
–verb (used with object)
11.to subject to culture; cultivate.
12.Biology.
a.to grow (microorganisms, tissues, etc.) in or on a controlled or defined medium.
b.to introduce (living material) into a culture medium.

It's numbers 1, 5, & 6 on which I want to focus this entry. Culture is where we come from, what we've learned and how that's shaped us. Culture is quality of living, history,ethinicity,and Anthropology.

But it's also personal. The culture of family is the most pivitol slice of culture that effects our society today. My family of origin's culture from the late 1970's through the 1990's is not the same as my family's culture: what I'm doing with my children and the standards by which I am raising them. Our personal culture is what we choose to do in our spare time, how our environment affects or infects us, what we give back to the people in our life.

Personal culture is fluid. It changes and matures as we do. The moments that define us also define our personal culture, our essence as human beings; our foundations and beliefs.

Culture awareness has been thrown in my life because of the training for Foster Care. As a Foster Care parent, I need to be sensitive to the cultural backgrounds of the children that come into my home. There is a level of respect that I can establish: just because other families don't do things like I do, that doesn't mean that the children are loved any less. That's key!

My personal culture includes Jesus. It's established on His foundation, that we must all love each other dispite of our differences and because of our differences. In that light, there is no personal culture that is better than another - unless there is no God in that person's life. Then what defines that culture? Worldly cultures? Political correctness? Materialism?

And there's the caution flag! If your personal culture isn't centered on Jesus, isn't first tied with God's ribbon, then what is the foundation of your life? When people look at you, see how you live, what will they know about you to be true?

With Jesus, it's always love and peace.

Questionnaire

I recently gave a talk at church on how to draw closer to God in this toxic culture of ours. Included in that was this questionnaire - an examination of our lives, our personal culture (more on "personal culture" in another entry) and how we are making choices that either draw us closer to God or push us away from God.

There is no right or wrong answer - just a "This is where I am" reflection. Then you can ask yourself if where you are is where you want to be.

The questions are divided into four categories - Faith, Home, Personal, and Health.

FAITH
1. Do you attend Mass every Sunday?
2. Have you considered, or do you already, attend at least one weekday Mass?
3. Have you gone to Reconciliation in the past week? Month? Year?
4. Have you attended a bible study at St. Therese or the Christ Renews His Parish Weekend Retreat at Resurrection?
5. Do you know your preist's last name? 
6. Do you set aside a certain amount of time each day for prayer and scripture?

HOME
1. How many televisions are in your home?
2. On average, do you watch more than 2 hours of television a day?
3. Do you have Internet access in your home?
4. Do you spend more than one hour a day online? (Facebook )
5. Do you watch TV during meals?
6. Do you have dinner with your family at least 4 times a week?
7. What kind of music do you listen to? Would Jesus approve?

PERSONAL
1. When someone angers you, do you replay that moment in your mind again and again?
2. When it snows and the roads are slick, do you think, “Oh, good! I can stay home and read my bible!” (Are you an optimist?)
3. When a child misbehaves, do you think to yourself…”Poor thing. Those parents are just so inexperienced.” or “I remember behaving that way” or “My kids never/will never do that!”
4. Do you comfort negative feelings with: food, shopping, watching television, retreating to bed, or with substances?
5. Do you gossip?

HEALTH
1. Do you eat foods in their natural forms? For example: water, fruits, vegetables, whole grains, meat. Examples of foods not in their nature form would include: candy, white bread, pasta, soda…you know, the fun stuff.
2. Do you exercise at least 3 times a week?
3. Do you have a good friend that will/does encourage a healthy life-style?
4. Do you trust your doctor?
5. Do you know how to search for information to answer your questions about your health concerns?
6. Can you not eat sugary foods for five days? (An inability to go even one day without sugar, alcohol, or other “unhealthy” sources indicates an addiction.)